gallery
on the other end of a camera lens,
sweetly sitting
or framed in curtains and flowing silk
like raindrops down your body,
flow to the floor, and
gaze upon the other side.
so, too, are the whispers,
like gentle paintstrokes
across your collarbone
they sit in the light, they all do,
with those glittering ceilings arching
like heavenly eyebrows above,
and lanterns dipping down like
hands to feed them light
cracked tile under their feet,
to tie up their skirts or their tongues,
and doorways upon doorways,
a maze of open rooms
flit like a bird
sit still and pout
look straight ahead
fill their souls
or be forgotten
immortalized on their walls,
displayed and beautiful and ornate.
more than just you, but
becoming the eye: the place for the eye to wander,
to sink its teeth in and pretend to know you
on the other end of the camera lens,
knowing or unknowing
and becoming a moment in the past
for someone in the future.
i’ll see you in dreams (but it’s not you)
a grand illusion--
living your life in shreds
(forgetting one moment to the next)
waking up from a dream
so visceral you can
barely breathe.
and facing the faces
that you can't see--
can't quite remember
(blurred into memories weak with time)
smelling salts, perhaps
for the next time you
fall asleep, because this
time you might not wake.
might fall so fast into
the dream that you don't
remember why it is you
need to open your eyes at all.
(or else wake on shaking legs
with ice-lidded eyes and the
hazy feeling that there's something
you're supposed to get back to--
something forgotten,
or only just remembered?--
a grand illusion?--
leaving you questioning,
your life in shreds.)
This one is.
It all feels heavy, all at once;
It comes and goes, but lately it stays a bit longer.
The fear of the unfamiliar dawns on me,
I am scared to face these infant days.
I relapse into what feels the most customary-
A small flower cup you gave me,
cradled in my hands;
One of the only things I have left of you.
Not every poem is about you, but this one is.
There are things I'd love to tell you-
How discouraging it felt to have
a job I thought I wanted, to think it would fix it all-
But it didn't. And how even my
successes feel like failures most days.
I'd love to tell you I got a promotion
At the job I only just started;
I changed rooms- I have sunlight every morning.
If we were still friends, I'd tell you about
The things I hated, things I don't hate anymore.
The taste of alcohol, sushi, coffee in the mornings.
I'd tell you about the sunroof in my car,
The tattoo that no one knows about.
I'd tell you I still love you, not knowing if I mean it.
I can't tell if I miss you or if I just miss
the feeling of not being a stranger to someone.
Keeps me up at midnight.
I don't want to fit in
With the mighty
And the small people
I don't want to fit in
With the pretty
And the ugly people
I don't want to fit in
With the happy
And the sad people
I don't want to fit in
With the privileged
And the poor people
I don't want to fit in
With the loners
And the famous people
I don't want to fit in
With the norms
And the inherited rules
Heard, unheard
Seen, unseen
Deserved, underserved
I don't want to fit in
With the hellish
And the paradise people
I don't to want fit in
I want to hold that space
In between
I don't want to fit in
I want to fade into that space
Between heaven and beyond
I don't want to fit in
I want to be
Like I never existed
I don't want to fit in
I want to go home
Where none of us ever happened.
Perfect Water
The great lakes would swallow you,
the ocean not know you're there.
The Finger Lakes will cradle
and expand your life, and share.
Water a mile across.
Water an hour long.
Water white-capped in the wind
and glass at night when it's gone.
Stand beside it with some wine;
drink its bounty deep.
Smell and gaze and hear and taste.
Feel its breadth, then sleep.
music
Writers block can be a real pain, however, inspiration is all around us. be it from a movie, an event that took place in your neighborhood. But manly I use music. For every intense or loving scene I try to use music that will best describe what I am trying to put out. I listen to the song on repeat until I feel I have successfully written the scene.