Remember Me
Remember me when it’s dark out, when the fog rolls up onto your clear window and laces it with it’s cold breath.
Remember me when you’re rolling around in your bed and you just can’t seem to find comfort in the warm sheets.
When you find the strength to lift your heavy anchor of a body out of your resting place, I hope you’ll remember the way we used to play.
And when you’re blindly leading yourself to the kitchen, to make some strong, milky coffee,think about how I filled your life with more energy that any cup of coffee ever could.
But just as I plead for you to remember our early mornings,
our body heat and how our cups were filled with more than just coffee,
I plead myself not to forget.
But how could I ever forget you ?
Or how I found complete comfort inside your arms, it felt as if I could escape everything when you held me .
How could I ever forget how you’d roll over, eyes still shut, with this big smile on your face and pull me closer.
It would be a shame if I forgot how we tugged at the warm blankets or how you allowed me to cover your body with mine.
It would be a shame.
Remember me in your darkest times, when the tunnel is so draped with shadows that you can not even imagine a form of light.
Remember me in your happiest hours, the hours where you can’t imagine life without laughter and music.
But most of all, please remember me in the moments when you’re just passing through life.
When you’re grabbing a cold glass of water or when you find yourself complaining about a movie you don’t like .
Please remember me when you’re driving in the dark and catch yourself staring at the moon..
I cannot ask you to love me for forever,
I cannot ask you to wait for me,
I know it’s not easy,
But all I ask of you , is please
Remember me .
Do Not Open
unlatched
to fall,
is a letting go
the foot leaves
the tree stems
stimming us
with a wobbling
fidget cannot replace
but does, asked or axeless
with that maddest intent
to hold on, to hold off, to
holler bloodlet, labour,
holler jaundiced dying
holler onyx, Blackbox theatre
holler fake fire! immolation
the trunk in flames
full of faith, knotted
with note of warning,
Signed "Pandora," closing
Patchwork
And it’s a bittersweet feeling,
really difficult to explain.
I’ve met a lot of people,
I’ve loved them very deeply.
I know I can't control the way they loved me back:
aggressive, intense, tiny little stitches,
they burn my skin.
I look often at their patchwork
and the past we share.
And I’ve known you for so long now—
I love you very deeply,
and I can’t control the way you love me back:
harsh, fierce, tiny little stitches,
they scar my skin.
And it’s a confusing feeling,
so hard to understand.
My skin’s marked by people,
by the people I very deeply love.
I know I can’t control the way they love me back:
piercing, burning, tiny little stitches.
I wish I could see my skin.
I often look back at myself
and the people I’ve met.
I wonder if I’ve marked you the same now.
You love me very deeply,
and I can’t control the way I love you back:
aggressive, intense, tiny little stitches.
I see the scars in your skin.
I'm surrounded by happy couples
constantly hearing about how happy they are,
about their raging sex lives,
about their amazing children that they have.
And I'm there,
standing,
forced to be the person on the outside looking in.
And the same thoughts always come to my mind,
what am I doing wrong?
Am I not pretty enough,
or smart enough,
sexy enough
kind enough?
Do I not smell good,
or dress well?
Why am I never enough for anyone?
Why can't I ever be loved by anyone?
When will it be my turn?
When will I ever be enough?
Why can't I be enough?
When will I even be enough for me?
Ranting
My mom was being a bitch today
I buried my feelings inside
Cool, calloused
That's what I've become
Don't care if I'm OK
Just want to see your pain
Be nice and you'll be rewarded
Never happened
But maybe I can trick her
Maybe she can be nice if I don't cross her boundaries
Maybe
Let's be real
I'm not allowed to be a kid
I can't do what I want
My mom tells me she works for me
Do you remember the last time I said I hate you.
It was a few months ago
I almost fell asleep in therapy today
I was bored, heard it hundred times before
Be nice
Be kind
shut up and do your time
I'm only here cause I couldn't shut you up with a rhyme
My poems feel like rapping:
Emotionless
Rude
Profane
Insane
I like to listen to rap
Mostly cause it helps me focus
But I started because of you
Started because I related more with someone who said they hated the world
than someone who loved it
I'm awake in the morning trying to meditate my pain away
Why couldn't you do the same?
Why do I have to pay for your pain?
Never mind
I've thought every sentence here before
And when I tell you I'm bored, listen
Cause everyone told me if I didn't care I'd feel better
They said your words wouldn't hurt me anymore
If I tell someone you are the problem they say, fix yourself.
So I'm done
Done waking up to listen
Done paying attention to you
Done trying to fix myself so you don't have to fix you
So fuck it
Can't make you listen
But I can stop blaming myself