Thus begins

this peyote journey

flowing down the

river of consciousness

with kaleidoscopic thoughts

in a hallucinatory fire

where vague ideas

burn like wax candles

as effulgent imagery

reflects in the mirror

of the mental canvas

creating surreal lucidity

so the mind is clear

and the soul begins to

enjoy transitory madness

Off the

beaten path.

No street lights,

nature has

embraced you.

Solitude has

been found.

Suddenly,

feeling as if

you’re not alone.

The darkness

becomes palpable.

Shadows embody

subtle movements.

Heart rate increases,

breath quickens.

You begin

walking faster.

Trying not

to panic.

It feels like

something is

following you.

Now what?

Dread sets in,

anxiety starts.

Your eyes

say you’re alone.

Yet your mind

says otherwise.

Footsteps echo

in the growing

silence of the night.

As phantoms dance

in and out

of sight.

Each one becomes

more terrifying

than the last.

The mania

of the mind

begins to manifest

in your vision.

Shaping fantasies,

promoting nightmares.

Your mind is

fatally infected

with the delusion

of paranoia.

Now you begin

to question

your sanity.

It feels like

the entire forest

is watching you.

Are those really

tortured souls

in the trees?

Vast

Empty

when it’s full

of hollow people

auditory dissonance

Hear what we want

Selective

Echoes bounce

Off wooden floors

solid as any foundation

Built on sand

On the podium

innaccuracies

polished floors

false shine

The soulless

sycophants make

ill wishes

Karmic answers

thoughtless words

rhetorical responses

filled with doubt

Chamber of echoes

peripheral souls

stirring

irrationally within

the auditorium

Love is powerful

regret full of pain

passion reignites

perceptions of love

conflagrations

can incinerate

even the Phoenix

cries as it burns

love and regret

become glowing embers

from which

the Phoenix rises

rekindling the fires

of love

and regret

Amongst all this noise

I seek silence

Not from the external

But inside

Where the cacophonous

Clamor of existence

Screams loudest

In the hallowed

Halls of Solitude

With the delusion

Of expectations

Am I asleep

or awake in a dream

are things normal

so it would seem

.

Ideas transmuted

subservient to life

mirthless attitude

intellectual strife

.

Nightly rituals

oasis in my mind

resuscitate reality

troubling bind

.

Destroyed by sarcasm

love is a gift

emotional breezes

provide uplift

.

Wild compromise

sensuous delight

posed cynicism

optimistic tonight

.

Subtle variations

fragmentary thoughts

ambitious psychology

carefully overwrought

.

Am I still dreaming

within a nightmare

categorical sufferance

I’m painfully aware

.

Awkward equilibrium

exquisite blackout

poetic bliss

asymmetrical route

.

Self discovery

perverse desire

lecherous ideations

personal quagmire

.

Tormenting questions

surge of exuberance

hostile psychosis

mental incumbrance

.

Paraphernalia of existence

causality of my being

limitless creativity

psychically freeing

.

Externalized dreams

quantum conversion

chaotic knowledge

metaphysical excursion

.

Syncopated heartbeat

shortness of breath

achieving autonomy

I no longer fear death

I’ve walked

the desolate night

collecting lives

along the highway

•

Am I a lone prisoner

of my own limitations

destined for mediocrity?

I’m not positive

I even know myself.

•

The constant cries

to be merciful

on the off chance

I seek companionship

•

Am I a good listener

to nonsensical ideations

driven by probability?

I’m not reclusive

but enjoy time by myself.

•

Unable to trust

lying for entertainment

seeking vengeance

for my birth

•

I suffer terrible miasma

with a tragic moral pain

in this nightmare glaze

with unctuous friends.

Trusting only myself!

•

On this road of

darkness filled insanity

I leave bloody crumbs

to this mental puzzle

•

Speaking with a phantasma

my convoluted brain

partially in a daze

tries to make amends.

I begin to reassemble myself!

The bleakness of my existence

was challenged aggressively when

a being of mortal perfection

turned and stared at me

her eyes consumed my soul

leaving me stunned

in the wake of

her remarkable sensuality

at that moment

everything was different

yet remained the same

her beauty was indomitable

against the nauseating ugliness

life regurgitated

as a matter of habit

while I vacillated

between illusion and disillusion

after realizing I conjured

this amazing being

into my unbalanced reality

attempting to temporarily offset

the pathetic loneliness

of my existence

forcing me to admit

“I need humankind.”

The empty bottles clank

_under my chair

Spilt beer becomes

__sticky spots

___on the floor

Blurred vision

_as I lay next

__to that mess

___my vomit encrusted

____mouth agape

Wondering how

_this happened

__yet again

I TRY TO STOP IT!

However

_the elation

__reaching that level

___of self-defilement

____wins out

_____every time

Life becomes

more painful

with alcohol as

the poetic muse

~

So we drink

~

Loss of control

or perhaps it’s

a complete

lack of care

~

Yet we drink

~

Consuming blindly

to the point of

a derangement

of the senses

~

And we drink

~

In our youth

as mad children

we write

and are despised

~

So we drink

~

As we mature

continually writing

still looked

down upon

~

Yet we drink

~

Having grown old

we are judged as

being a waste of

a god given talent

~

And we drink

~

-Apparently-

-quite ironically-

-the talent we seem-

-to not waste-

-is a gift-

-which keeps on giving-

-an ability to-

-heavily-

-imbibe alcohol-

~

So we drink