The Value of Plant Life
When the conversation
turns ugly,
veers into
politics,
steers toward
my-way-or-
the-highway
rhetoric,
I often
become that
potted plant
and quietly
fade out of
a hostile conversation.
I choose my battles
carefully,
unwilling to
jeopardize
a friendship
or kinship
just to make
a fleeting,
meaningless
observation.
If only others
would opt for
a plant's life
when choosing battles.
First, After
She checked the time.
Checked her phone.
Checked the door.
Checked her reflection.
He’s not late.
He’s not late.
He’s not—
coming?
Stop.
That’s not fair.
Be fair.
You said you'd try.
He wanted sushi.
You picked Italian.
Like the rehearsal night—
the last thing he ate.
It’s not a test.
It’s not betrayal.
It’s just dinner.
Just—
She touched the napkin.
Her ring finger twitched.
Don’t think of rings.
Don’t think of ash.
He said we could wait.
He said stay home.
He said not today.
She said
Hawaii.
No weather warnings.
No second thoughts.
No life vests.
No—
wedding.
The wine list blurred.
Waves on white paper.
She didn’t drink anymore.
She did.
After.
What if he’s kind?
What if he’s dull?
What if he dies too—
and it’s her fault
again?
She practiced hello.
Practiced her laugh.
Practiced surviving.
Didn’t
practice this.
She almost left.
She almost stayed.
She almost
believed.
He’s late.
He’s not late.
He’s not—
Hi.
Sorry—traffic.
She blinked.
Breathed.
Smiled.
It’s okay.
I just got here.
Modest rant
I don't want to be here
Yes that top looks bad
Can I please go home?
I don't care about the dream you had
Your kids are not special
They have no talent at all
I'm tired or pleasantries
I'd rather just look at the wall
I just want to be alone
So please, please be quiet
Humanity in its true form
Is an uncanny, insufferable riot
And what do you think?
I know you've never heard me
Too busy with your musings
Of how nothing is truly free
No one contributes anymore
Instead we only complain
Our projected woes
Falling steady like the rain
What if no one cares?
I can't say that I do
Humanity is incapable of change
The statement bitter but true
So please take your shoes
And your stupid mason jars
Get out of my house, get out of my sight
Go tell it to the stars
There, There
Yes it's your fault, you knew what they were like from the beginning. You threw yourself into the abyss of love for someone who'd watch you fall. You tossed away everything of value in your life to make space for them. You rearranged your plans and sacrificed your future for someone unwilling to make the slightest change for you. You claimed love was enough but in the end it wasn't. We warned you that this would happen. That one day it would be over and you'd be left holding the pieces, staring ahead at what your life could have been. Now the day has come and we can't even say a word to you because it could send you over the edge. So I say it here to the blank page "I told you so".
Animus
What looks at me from the mirror
speaks in backwards
tongue
I say "hi,"
The mirror listens
and says, "I."
"Aye...!?!" I ask
my reflection in horror
the mirror answers
in short,
"Eye."
I look more closely
crossing both my eyes
vainly
wondering which one
the right or the left?
I turn east and west
and the mirror
shakes its head.
04.12.2025
Mirror You, Mirror Me challenge @Bunny
Necessary Skills
I am the same but also so different. What has changed? It's not what's inside but my actions. I stare at my other self through a haze as I do the things I spent my lifetime being taught to hold back. My words are what they would consider mean but I feel are honest. I've always felt I should voice them but was restrained, not by conscience but by training. "Don't say those sort of things they hurt people" I don't understand why they would but obey my mothers orders. "Hold back, repress it, if you can't change what's inside at least don't show it. You can't wince when people hug you, it's mean. You can't be disgusted when someone gives a simple kiss on the cheek. You can't tell people the truth so matter of factly, it needs to be softened. You can't live your life in silence in a corner watching but not engaging. Even if you hate it power through and live normally as you can."
I watch the person who didn't learn these lessons they are not loved like I am. I am unsure how I feel about that. Am I that unlikable beneath my facade, in my natural state? Do I even care? Deep down I'm not sure if I should thank or hate Mom for my lessons. The other me is alone but deep down I honestly believe they are happier.
Ancestors
Every time I see something about ancestors being proud of you, about you being their gift to the future I think this:
No, I'm their abomination, the child they never wished to be, the end of the world as they knew it, I am queer and the fact that me, that, originated from them, makes them roll in their graves and I love it. I have learned to feed off their despair and discontent, turning it to love instead of desperation. I use this knowledge to love those like me: the abominations of this world that only ever wanted a home.
I remember this and I keep walking, I keep loving, I hoping hoping out of spite. I keep trying to make this world a better place as revenge. It spurs from anger. My ancestors were colonizers and I have dedicated my life to undoing everything they ever did. I hope they feel worthless and unloved. I hope they watch their own culture of domination disapear, just as they did to so many others. I hope they watch, as I, their descendent, do what they never could, and turn their dreams of a new world into a pile of ash.
Recurrent
Feelings come and go in waves, but sometimes I catch a feeling that feels like it belongs to someone else. Strange and consuming. Alarming and looming. It creeps in like sepia in a frame and I become an audience of reality. I am removed and paralyzed. Like a dream clasped in demons claws, the world becomes overwhelming in waking stillness. There is no true threat, only a pulling at the back of my mind. An intuition of what's to come. Or what has been. If only I could remember to breathe. I sit with my hands in my lap and watch as it passes me by. I have survived a moment of all consuming doom. A treachery of the consciousness that passes as quickly as it comes on. Not a soul reacts to my own personality earthquake and I am left shaken. All I can do is stand and move forward. Stay resilient until the memory is triggered by a sister event, much easier to conquer. The only real way out is through.