It's late so late it's actually early. You come home from whatever you've been doing. Through the gate, across the yard, into the house then up the stairs. There your twenty something year old ass proceeds to wake up in turn your younger siblings, one still in elementary school to go lock the gate because you forgot.

Not kidding, she did it more than once and when we refused told us and I quote "If somebody breaks in in the middle of the night and slits all our throats it's gonna be all your fault." At that point we would say okay and go back to bed. We had four German Shepherds so we didn't sweat it. She just would have gotten in trouble for leaving the gate unlocked. Sorry to say she has only gotten worse with age.

I don't hate you I feel nothing for you. I watch you live your life and find it mildly entertaining. I let it continue but could just as easily end it. I watch you curse everything I've done to you and take the credit. Blame me, despise me, revile me, I relish it. I let your hate wash over me, undeserved as it is because you don't know. I do nothing, I only ever watch.

Yes it's your fault, you knew what they were like from the beginning. You threw yourself into the abyss of love for someone who'd watch you fall. You tossed away everything of value in your life to make space for them. You rearranged your plans and sacrificed your future for someone unwilling to make the slightest change for you. You claimed love was enough but in the end it wasn't. We warned you that this would happen. That one day it would be over and you'd be left holding the pieces, staring ahead at what your life could have been. Now the day has come and we can't even say a word to you because it could send you over the edge. So I say it here to the blank page "I told you so".

I am the same but also so different. What has changed? It's not what's inside but my actions. I stare at my other self through a haze as I do the things I spent my lifetime being taught to hold back. My words are what they would consider mean but I feel are honest. I've always felt I should voice them but was restrained, not by conscience but by training. "Don't say those sort of things they hurt people" I don't understand why they would but obey my mothers orders. "Hold back, repress it, if you can't change what's inside at least don't show it. You can't wince when people hug you, it's mean. You can't be disgusted when someone gives a simple kiss on the cheek. You can't tell people the truth so matter of factly, it needs to be softened. You can't live your life in silence in a corner watching but not engaging. Even if you hate it power through and live normally as you can."

I watch the person who didn't learn these lessons they are not loved like I am. I am unsure how I feel about that. Am I that unlikable beneath my facade, in my natural state? Do I even care? Deep down I'm not sure if I should thank or hate Mom for my lessons. The other me is alone but deep down I honestly believe they are happier.

Why send my words into the world unencumbered by my name

Why let others see what I've created using only a computer and my brain

How does this action so contrary to my nature benefit me anyway

I could better use my time and talents in a hundred different ways

I will not give in to convention

I will deny your good intention

I will not live in your delusion

I will cause you endless confusion

I will not give in and pretend to be

I will be different than you want to see

I will not live in your perfect existence

I will struggle but don't need your assistance

I like it when there are multiple ways to interpret the challenge. Otherwise I feel like someone else could post something similar and I can't add anything new.

I write when the challenge appeals to me or I get inspired reading it. The best challenges I feel are broad, vague and mostly fun. I want an idea, a spark to follow, not a shared box to dig around in with all my fellow prosers.