the dying sun watches over his shadow

stretch across the sand

he turns back and sees that red boat capsized

slowly sinking in a sea of blood

with no sound tethered to it

just the thin whistle of the wind

and the occasional mew of buzzards circling overhead

his legs trudges on,

chasing his shadow the way a dog does his tail

all the while his skull echoes

what he reckons the scream from a god's mouth

should be

The grasping vacuum of space surrounding the place where there is not air to carry sound.

Here and now.

With

Each

Beat

Of the

Sudden cacophony your heart beat has

Become.

The low bellowed hum of the combustion that makes the sun.

Told mostly in sunburns and freckles on the cheeks of loved ones where you come from. Not in this sonorous instinct, abnormal and distinct.

This combination is overlooked sounds waves piercing the numb of your ear drums and

That pace is what sets your breaths heaves;

your rhythmn of your lung.

Move on,

Still and unchanging as the surface of a placid puddle

Platicene reflections of our world

Slightly ripple and the

View in your minds eye receives it.

Sinking to these depths

Breath in and out in circles

And release it.

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, dress

Towels

Tank tops, shorts, dress, silk robe, panties, bedsheets

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, slacks, button-down shirt, boxers

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, slacks, hoodie, burp cloths, onesies

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, slacks, hoodie, princess costume

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, slacks, hoodie, jeans, crop tops

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, jeans, crop tops

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, pantsuits

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts

Towels

T-shirts, tank tops, shorts, sweatpants, camis, onesies, burp cloths

Towels

Slacks, blouse, jeans, T-shirts, fireman costume

Towels

Black dress, small suit

The Ortolan is a French songbird. It must be captured at the perfect time, blinded, forcefully fattened, and drowned in brandy. Those who choose to indulge must do so wholly. Bones, feet, head. All but the beak. The diner must veil their head. Some say it is to savor the aroma. Tradition says it is to hide from the piercing eyes of the savior.

The birds are dead. They do not feel the cracking structures between the teeth of their masters, hollow bones pricking gums and scraping teeth. I will not be as fortunate once I am plucked from this gilded room. I will feel the cracking of my bones. The piercing of my flesh. Ground between molar and canine, my fear-soaked fat will burst through my skin, bringing forth a sinful ecstasy that cycles for eternity. They feast as we feast, maddening further with each bite, insatiable greed for forbidden delicacies.

Saturn devouring his son. Jupiter has better luck than I.

Do they dare shield their eyes from God? Perfect faces free from shame, crafted by the astuteness of divinity. They act in His command. They act outside of it as it suits them.

Truth. Speculation. Pessimism? Prophecy.

They are older, more powerful.

Purgatorio. The fated shall always be.

I thought about sex yesterday

At first i felt guilty

Then i felt fine

And then i prayed

And changed my mind

I thought about his hand

And me shivering at his touch

But when does this thinking become

A thought too much?

I smiled at his smile

And the sound of his voice

Low and soft, and gentle in a way

Then i felt bad

Because what would my parents say?

I got in his car

Dark trap music blasting

Kept glancing over at him

My soul was asking

No, begging I suppose

He almost obliged

But i decided a kiss would do

The only regret I have at this point is that I am alive,

how could I feel any disdain for the ambrosia that

made me my own god.

I said being drunk was as close to being dead as I could get

and I meant it

and it was glorious.

There is bile crusting my carpet

I could never be bothered to clean and it has

eaten through my floor like

the booze through my liver.

I wish my liver had failed faster than the floorboards,

I wish I kept my acid in my gut

but I burned a hole through my facade.

You sent me away

and locked the liquor up.

The sober set into my veins like lead,

the poison didn't leave my blood for months.

Vision finally clear

the regret hits like shards of amber glass.

Triggers and spirals go hand in hand.

Like Daytime and Nighttime, can't have one without the other.

Triggers are in your face all day everyday.

Some are a dud, while others blow your world to pieces.

Like watching a favorite TV show and there is the death of a child, triggered.

Spiral takes the led.

Next thing you know you spend hours, days, weeks obsessing about where the child predators are.

How many assaults' happen every year?

Where are all the sex offenders in my 1 mile radius.

How do I know my kids are safe?

I obsess over the fact that in 1970 there were 3.6 billion of people on earth and the number is higher than 8 billion people in the year 2023.

How many are pedophiles?

Growing up it felt like I was constantly surrounded by men who liked to touch little girls.

There was only 3.6 billion people then. Minus the Children, Minus the Women.

8 billion people today. How am I supposed to protect my two daughters?

My Grandmother used to nail the doors and windows shut every evening.

As soon as the sun went down I knew to be inside and grab the hammer.

I happily hammered the nails firmly into the windows and blocking the doors.

This was my bedtime routine. No brushing my hair, no brushing my teeth even.

We just hammered the windows and doors shut nightly to be protected, From what? I was never aware. Most of my own predators were already inside.

This was just life for me up until the age of 5.

I figured out quickly why my grandmother nailed the windows and doors shut.

My mothers new friends were very nice to me but then they started to crawl into my twin sized bed on occasion.

I would lay in bed at night terrified.

I remember always being so scared.

Scared of being alone. Scared of not being alone. Scared of who was waiting in the dark.

I am in my thirties now.

I still scream every time I am woken up.

[Brand New Instagram page. Behold: https://www.instagram.com/taitaisensei/ ]

But also:

I'M BACK!

WITH UPDATES!!!

My friends—my motivation! My inspiration; and whoever else got caught in the compilation! I'd just like to say a super mega ultra: 'I'm sooorrrrrrry! >__<' it shouldn't have taken me this long to reach out to you again. I'm sure I've lost followers and fans but I am still and always will be eternally grateful to everyone who took the time to read Tainted Sky! To all the fans I didn't lose yet, THANK YOU FOR STANDING STRONG! I promise you I never stopped writing and editing and I am definitely a heck of a lot closer to getting this thing published and on our bookshelves than when you last heard from me!!! (I should invest in a proper bookshelf... *TaiSensei glances at her piles of books on the floor)

[To those who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a link to the original story: https://www.theprose.com/book/1219/tainted-sky-reis-playlist ]

The reason you haven't heard from me:

I've been writing like crazy, making music like crazy, learning how to navigate Kickstarter like crazy, learning how to make a trailer like crazy, and being crazy as usual. I basically went full hermit mode. Picture a ninja under a turtle's shell with a robe, a cup of tea, and a strong aversion to the sun.

I can guarantee you that the quality of the story you read years ago vs now are completely different. New content, new backstories, new jokes, new and improved vocabulary (wow so smart, TaiSensei >:D ), and hopefully, if things go as planned, then new updates!

I finally caved to the social norms and unlocked an Instagram page. Or at least I'm trying to. I don't know what the humans put on these sites these days so "Ima do my own thing." (*coughcough*Spiderverse reference*cough*). But I mainly want a consistent place where fans can see where I'm at.

The end goal: Kickstarter!

I will be igniting a Kickstarter campaign (or 2) in hopes of being able to provide a full soundtrack for you guys to enjoy alongside your wacky physical copy of Tainted Sky!

With that said, the soundtrack is looking like it might still be a little ways off but if all goes well. The campaign would ensure that the book itself will look much cooler than your average book, with some custom pages, musical symbols, and fun speech bubbles decorating the margins. But more on that with the Instagram updates.

However, none of this will be possible without support, so please, plzplzplz, spread the word! Even if you're not interested, share this, or better yet, share the story with someone who might be interested. Doesn't even have to be prosers, I'm going meta, so you should too! break the fourth wall and share it with friends/family/and those not tied to this dimension.

I will also be doing my best to make this little fanvillage of ours into a whole fandom and then into a FANDOMINATION! BWAHAHA!

-ahem-

Don't have Instagram:

Don't worry. I'm accumulating an email list so feel free to put your email here: https://artisanal-pioneer-5844.ck.page/8f212835bb

Alternatively, you may DM me through the prose with your email (or a list of emails +___+)

Either way you'll only be subjected to the major updates. I promise not to spam your inbox. I'm too anti-social for that anyway.

Zedge, on the other hand.... >:)

(no I'm kidding, I'll keep my characters under control)

Fun Bonus note:

Any and all fans who had given any of my trackters a like and/or a comment before this post will get a special discount (I kept track) so I really hope you all take advantage of that.

To summarize:

Instagram here:

https://www.instagram.com/taitaisensei/

Email drop-off corner, here:

https://artisanal-pioneer-5844.ck.page/8f212835bb

Mostly abandoned twitter attempt... is unfortunately here: https://twitter.com/TaijaSensei

The original (unedited) story here:

https://www.theprose.com/book/1219/tainted-sky-reis-playlist

And finally:

THANK YOU TO ALL MY READERS. THIS IS ALL FOR YOU!