the hollowness consumes me

the nothingness swallows me up

there is a pain in the air

and I crush down,

concealing my soul with loss

and filling my bricks with concrete

as I build my walls,

my temporary backup

for days with no light,

I stretch out my sorrow

to keep me warm

without my kin,

a part of my blood

I watch the time pass by

with ruthless turns,

making everything slower

as it speeds up,

loss surrounds my being

it digs through,

I can no longer stop

and stand my ground,

because my deepest sorrow

has finally caught up,

it slips through my cracks

as I hoped I had none,

an armor strengthened

with layers

that I added over the years,

I thought I was stronger

that my denial would last

my greatest power

and my biggest fail,

now the pain surrounds

my shoulders

covered with a soft shawl

that weighs me down with stones,

yet I need it to heal my wounds

because going forward

requires life,

the one

that you go through

with a beating heart

and one day at a time

......................................................

"may we meet again"

........................

In the misty hours before it gets bright

All in the still of the night

Not a sound can be heard

Except for an occasional bird

Looking at photos from decades ago

People you knew whom left long ago

Are they still near

When you begin to hear

Deep back in your mind

Stories they told you more than one time

It’s like they are standing there

All while you stare

In perfect pitch

Your memory turned on a switch

The sound of them speaking

Is just what you’re seeking

I’m not afraid of the dark

But of the night

I have a different mindset

Sometimes I say my greatest fear is darkness

It isn’t quite true

I am afraid of the time that is naturally dark

Not the dark itself

I am fine in movie theatres

Rooms with no windows

As long as it’s daytime

At night, I get this sinking feeling in my stomach

It just won’t go away

My bad thoughts won’t go away

Death

Deadlines

Hatred

This is why I roll around a lot when I’m falling asleep

I’m trying to find a position

That offers release

I have trouble falling asleep

This is why

This is why I go to school every day exhausted

This is why I like to talk to people at night

It only happens when I’m alone

I can’t think happy thoughts

I’m drowning

Please, just let me sleep

Let me forget

I just need to make it until morning

It will all go away in the morning

 

—Self Defense of Poetry—

do we camo what we mean

hiding out in shallow blocks

while tied to skimpy lines of

entrenched typographic thoughts

—we crouch over a blank page—

—Fearing Exposure of Day—

in no man's land where other

well versed poets have long past

battling wretched pretexts

for that precious strange relief

—pen & inking tend to bring—

—By Razor Thin Bloodletting—

like a public press release

if someone might comprehend

the minimum that was shed

and clotted throughout the night

—Darkness must be a poem—

#Darkness #Challenge

The internal darkness that not all can escpae

People take thier lifes trying to evade

This darkness rises when we're at our low

Lets not give it power to grow

Link hand with one another

Rather its your frined, sister, or brother

Let the darkness fade and the light show

Everyone cowers

Before the threatening darkness

And the monsters our minds create

That lurk within it

Everyone cowers

When the lights flicker out

And they are left with nothing

But uncertainty

I am not afraid of the darkness

That inhabits this world

No

I am much more afraid

Of the subtle

Yet brutal

Darkness

That festers within

Because there is no way

To turn on the light

And let the darkness out

When it inhabits

My very soul

A long road walked,

no stars,

blackness all around,

like hot pitch on a highway.

No sounds,

save the breathing

of the walker.

In the distance,

twin orbs approach,

giving hope the walking

will end.

The lights disappear.

Left alone in darkness,

left with unsaid thoughts,

feet continue to shuffle,

along a road not seen.

Darkness takes over us, the gloom is near. Obscurity is ours to do what we fear.

Darkness prevails, sombre and black. Ahead in the dark, the shadows are unclear.

Shall we move forward, into the bleak, to bravely succumb to silence, no shriek.

Move ahead into the unknown, move onward to your new home.

Do you see the sliver of light further ahead, take your time lady, no need to dread.

No need to hurry your time away, no need to go astray.

It takes time to get what you yearn, this time go to the light, you still have lots to learn.

My eyes see nothing.

My ears hear nothing.

I taste nothing.

I smell nothing.

But I feel something.

My heart beats faster.

My lungs expand and collapse rapidly.

Sweat trickles down my back like an icy finger.

Goosebumps sprout from my flesh.

But then I feel a warm pressure on my back.

I inhale deeply and smell the warm scent of flowers.

I close my eyes and control my breathing.

In...Out...In...Out

The goosebumps go away.

My heart rate slows.

I open my eyes once more and,

My eyes see nothing.

My ears hear nothing.

I taste nothing.

But I smell flowers

And I feel warm.

I feel safe.

Because I know you're here.

It’s pulling me

the swirling hand of the depths of who knows

And I’m being drowned

nobody on the land can hear my screams

because they’re the silent type

ones i brush off as easily as one would a piece of lint on a sweater

my eyes are drooping

a storm is brewing

and the riptide is pulling me

out to sea

to isolate me

and to let me die

and at this point

its a sweet relief from the relentless bartering from the sea as it turned against me

and pulled me

down

down

down

down