to the succubus that thrives

to the gate that is open

the vacuous chasm that swells

black is too light of a color

it gives me power to write

power to see

power for fury

and silence-

the secret is

the one I hold

down in that pit

the secret is...

that I'm fine.

Sharing my deepest, darkest secrets

must wait for my crooked silver halo

to stream its jet of blackened images.

Locked in sleep in gilded moonbeams

my deep abyss is tangled and interwoven

chaotic in pit where prisoner can’t escape.

The murky shadows are tucked in pockets,

incarcerated deeply in my fiery memories

to be taken out now and then and savored

a carnal taste on my tongue of gilded past.

And oh! How invigorating and alive it was

so sensual, pure, intense and exciting

opening up my world to life’s pleasures.

It’s said that one should learn from,

not repeat mistakes of the past.

But I want to relive them in glory

my deepest, darkest secrets cherished

tucked in scrapbooks and flashbacks

yearning to resurrect the feelings I had

buried but still alive, ready to awaken.

Secrets are kept because some things are better left in the dark. Some of our secrets would hurt others, some of them would scare the life out of you.

Some of us understand the weight that our

deepest darkest secret carries,

people can't always handle that gravity

that certain secrets bare.

I'm afraid mine are simply too great for me to unload at this time. Maybe another time perhaps.

I have so many.

I am in love with someone.

This someone is far from me.

This someone is far from me in terms of both time and space.

Time: Future.

Time: Who we are.

I can still smell the beautiful scent.

Like Ambrosia coated with honey that has fallen straight from heaven.

It's strange you know.

The way love works.

The way you still feel alone after all the feelings well up in you.

Does it constitute in a tainted soul?

Or does it mean that I will love forever?

My love doesn't love me. I thought he was letting on more than he said, but clearly my mind was against me. The worst part is, he knows, and it breaks him that he's unintentionally inflicting so much pain on me. I only told one person, since I'm bad at keeping things in, but apparently she was the wrong choice. She took my words in invisible ink and put a light to the letters to I wanted to ignore and showed it to all I knew, including him. My deepest secret had to do with matters of the heart, and so it was fate that it would break it too. I still act as if no one knows. It adds stability to my life, now shaken by the fact to he's trying to see if by avoiding me, he can hurt me less than he did when acting as if there was nothing between us, when in reality it's worse. I would still give him the world now, even though we haven't talked in two weeks. Hopefully this infatuation goes away soon. It must.