3 reasons my cat may be a CIA agent:

-Can sniff out catnip from miles away (can recognize drugs)

-Meows in odd intervals (morse code communication with other agents?)

-When walking over computer keyboard, is very cautious of which keys to press (secret codes?)

3 reasons the aliens left without bothering

-Saw (and heard) a high schooler ('s voicecrack). Enough said.

-McRib was still out of season at the time

-Watched people kick around balls made of leather into sacks and cheer, and then argue over what the activity should be called

3 reasons why the FDA actually approves of alcohol

-To FDA approve something, they need to test it ;)

-Without alcohol, they would be called the FA, not FDA (and FA would confuse people about what the acronym of Florida actually is)

-All that booze gotta go somewhere

3 excuses to call out of work so you can go fishing

-"Hey, I'm looking to get a hot catch. You know how it is, right boss?" (+10 points for flattery, +10 points for deceitful honesty)

-Say you have a fever (+10 points for honesty, cause it's bass fever boiii)

-*Casts line and causes chaos anyways* (Who says you have to leave work to fish?)

Wait... what is that hiding in the corner?

-A pile of clothes that looks like a demon

-A demon that's disguising itself as a pile of clothes

-Me with depressy expressy