You Are Not Alone

Hey up there! I see you. Could I come up and share a moment with you, before you jump? Was that a nod? My vision isn't so good. I will come right up, just in case it was.

***

Would you like to sit down? Oh, right here on the edge? Okay, I can do that. My name is Mee Jong. I don't know what circumstances brought you here, but I wanted to tell you that I do understand the feeling. Did you want to talk about why you're here?

No? That's okay. Do you mind if I hold your hand for a moment? Thank you.

***

There were times in my life when I felt so lost, so alone, so unloved. There were times when circumstances took on a life of their own and I felt tossed around, beaten-up and left for dead. There were times when I thought it would just be better if I was dead.

I wrote stories about killing myself. About being murdered. I dreamt about it. I wrote suicide letters. I stopped feeling and gave myself over to a hollowness, an emptiness. A living dead state. People avoided me and my obvious pain and sadness. I planned my final exit from this world.

That's not to say I know you, because I don't. But I wanted you to know I have felt the sort of numbness and despair, that would lead a person here. Our experiences are unique, but our feelings, they are more universal than one might think.

I understand if it makes no difference to you. But, just in case it does, please know...

You are not alone.

Feelings change. Circumstances change. The world changes. It didn't always feel like that was true for me. But, when I allowed myself the time and space, when I found the strength, when I reached out for just one connection to tether to my own life, these truths became known to me. Giving yourself over to one moment is easy, and sometimes, that is what gets us into these dark places. It's allowing ourselves the opportunity to move through these places, which gives us the strength to go on, day after day, in this crazy, beautiful, scary world in which we live. Until we don't.

Oh, you're crying. Here, let me hold you. That's right, let it out.

***

How are you feeling now?