regrets

as we sat in the car today

talking freely about life & love &

what we left behind,

I realized that maybe,

in another universe,

we would be perfect for each other.

maybe there you wouldn't tell me

my hands were so clammy

& instead you would envelop them

in yours. In this universe there is no one like you

but maybe somewhere else, there is someone

nearly identical to you

that is able to give me what I want.

but you-

you are exactly what I need. you with your

sing-along-to-the-radio cheesiness,

unable to make small talk but the best person to

have a deep conversation with; you:

the only guy my parents would trust to

drive me all this way. in this universe,

you are exactly what I need.

so do I regret being born in this lonely place

surrounded by people who are able to love each other

who aren't as close as us but are still able to hold hands

and sneak out at night

and do everything that falls into the category we label

"love"?

no. as I closed the door of your yellow car

and heard you drive away,

I did not immediately wonder

whether you should have waited for me

to get inside safely.

later, though, I remember you paused.

and that was enough.