Growing up, my mother had a poster of Rod Stewart on the back of her bathroom door. So, you’ll understand when I say I know the words to every single hit song (and a few extra) he sang without ever having owned one of his albums. She, of course, owns all of his albums and played them on repeat ad nauseum when I was young. Thus, when I took her to a Rod Stewart concert for her 70th birthday a few years ago, I could sing along to every song with all the other crazy screaming, dancing, panty-throwing seniors. And so, for your reading pleasure, I’ve composed the following poem using the titles of my favorites.

Rod’s oft broken heart

as I close my eyes

and think of you,

Maggie May,

I cannot help but imagine your

Hot legs

and wonder

Da Ya think I’m Sexy?

and if so,

Tonight’s the Night!

please, don’t say

I don’t want to talk about it

you know

You’re in My Heart

and

This old heart of mine

is full of Passion for you --

Have I told you lately that I love you?

When I need you

(I just close my eyes and I’m with you)

but

It’s a heartache

’cause you’re with him—

Love hurts.

Some guys have all the luck…

The killing of Georgie

is on my mind

and

The First cut is the deepest

Hahaha

I was only joking…

well, For the first time

I’m on the

Downtown Train

Sailing away

in the Mandolin Wind

wishing you were here,

that you would

Stay with Me,

and that we were

Forever young.

hellow old friends!

it is I, that loathsome creature you failed to scrape off your shoe....

i have not participated in what was happening, not remarking, not reposting, not doing much of anything , as regarding you fine outstanding superheroes (i mean theprosedotcomnicks among you). i apologize profusely , and can offer only my honest shplotzery.

now, like all excuses, you may doubt the credibility of the source, or the likelyhood that any of the following is truthful. have no fear, your instincts are not frayed, and it indeed sounds dubious even to me. but while it is just unlikely, what happned truly did occure. (hence tbe use of the term EXCUSE). i assure you it is all truth, and nothing but, and may i lose my thoraxial proboscis if it isn't!

the thing is covid. yeah, covid has fallen upon us. it started in the summer break. and escalated in its annoyance and headach. in september, we were already doing online classes again. kids were less then enthusiastic about being taught remotely without the edifying educational benefits of body odor, school food, and chalk. they never missed a chance to miss a chance at learning. i was frustrated, tired and overworked. finally in december the government decided that covid is now nothing to worry about (collectively) and lifted travel restrictions. as a result, i got covid. school was not reopened, and we coasted through the last weeks of the term online. oh, to pass a lesson with those little shits while struggling to resist the tremendous back and headache....

maybe someday i'll write a book avout how crazy life is. (no one take my original idea!!!)

then we got a hoilday. i travelled with my girl, and met the family. its a new chinese lunar year now, the year of the rabbit.

yesterday i went back to school again for the first time in four monthes, setting up the traps, and snares-because the cannibals are coming back!!! oh, and both taxis i took today, to and from work were involved in a mild , stupid accident, just before picking me up. i saw this as an ominous sign.

which bring me to the astral vortex. yes, going in paralel with the whole covid mess, was another opening of the accursed portal. i was swallowed alive and taken this time to a parallel reality, were i was living among humans(!!!!?!!!)

humans!! can you believe that?!

they have a lot of similarities to our world. but its the little things that stand out, and make it all seem like delusional ramblings.

for example: on the desktop computer they use a trilobite just like we do, but they call it a "mouse" . i guess you can see some vague resemblence, but of course the thing has no fur and legs. crazy, right?

food is basically the same but the names are different; Patties in regalia is called "Hamburger" and worm in a siphon is called, oddlier still, "pigs in a blanket"!!.

i wont get into the spelling...

in any case it was all doomed back there, and i awaited the passage of the vortex with painful anxiety. until finally i was liberated by the slaves of master Shak'doth, who obluged me and opened the third circle of Crokvix (yes, the third!! talk about an experience). since then i lived within the gaping jaws of the master for a while, and, being beholden to that entity, i was obviously unable to post anything of any significance. but as i was relesed and returned to this plain of reality i set about creating another randii challenge to better prepare us to the coming of the Xorgian tfolensignation. those of you who are in the know, have noticed that none of the topics that were called for were actually involved in this post, but i reserve the right write on the "none" option , which i offered.

sorry again for the poorly quality of this post as also my abysmall behavior as a fellow theprosedotcomnick. it is a good thing we have no capital punishment over on this side....

i bid you all a to be strong and prosper , despite this sludge.

Modern society is one of the most confusing periods in history, and we are all living through it. Over-flowed with varying types of people with different beliefs, looks, feelings, and reactions; it is nearly impossible to understand society today. You never truly know each individual, even if you have known them lifelong.

Living in an age of uncertainty, we hope and pray that people will be hygienic in public; even at home. In various cases, this is not reality. Many people choose not to wash their hands while haggling with food, and even more disgustingly; after taking a trip to the toilet. This is sickening and a solution is necessary to “clean up” the population. While developing a solution, we need to find a way to deal with these unclean citizens. One way of this could be by carrying gloves around everywhere. We can also grab napkins or paper towels to battle the danger of opening public bathroom doors. To be extra safe, people can wear gloves whilst gripping a napkin; covering the napkin with a paper towel. The dangers of opening disgusting public bathroom doors can be lessened by executing this. These three items; along with numerous additional items should be essentials carried in a monster truck.

As we all know, monster trucks are one of the most riveting vehicles in the world. Many people wish to ride in one before they die. To ride in one, all of these essentials must be carried to enhance your riding experience: A wireless speaker(to blast your music at top volume while enjoying the ride of your life), protein bars, lots of water(to keep passengers full and hydrated so they can extend their time inside the truck), mobile phone(allowing the passengers to show their friends the engrossing vehicle that they are in, encouraging them to hop into the monster truck), and finally; a tire air pump(ensuring a smooth and safe ride)

In an ever-changing society, taking advantage of every opportunity possible is necessary. Whether it be finding a new job, moving to a new state, riding in a crazy monster truck, to staying protected from the surrounding crowd; it is essential to never stop exploring possibilities.

mosquito nymphs

growing

in discarded tires,

a poisoned life

sprouting from the ruins

of an old world.

parasitic tongues

birthed from old rubber

scouring their barren wasteland

for flesh

that no longer exists.

the tires no longer have cars to pull,

the cars no longer have drivers.

the drivers no longer have homes

and the homes no longer

have occupants.

mosquito nymphs born into ruin

doomed to death before their lives began,

their mother laid its eggs in the old world

only for them to be born into the new.

how quickly life can change,

how fleeting it can be.

and for mosquito nymphs growing

in discarded tires,

how cruel.

their life was injected with meaning

by a dead mother

who dared to create life

in a world of death

and only ended up

with more ruin

and no one around

to see it

or mourn it.

and the mosquito nymphs

will stop growing

in discarded tires,

development arrested

by the police

of carefully calculated carnage.

My alarm goes off, and somehow I'm not annoyed. I pick out my outfit for today and chose my favorite outfit. I don’t even bother to pack my lunch because I know we’ll be having pizza for lunch. My backpack is so lightweight because there’s no books, papers, or folders in it. I walk out the door and my mom yells “Bye sweetie! Have a wonderful day!”. It's the last day of school. I walk into school and everyone is hanging out in the halls, laughing, and signing each other's yearbooks.The bell rings and my teacher lets us know that we won’t be learning today and we will be having fun. We then spend the rest of the day with the other classes outside, listening to music, playing games, talking with friends, and bragging about what we’re going to be doing over the summer. The dismissal bell rings and Everyone begins to hug and talk about how we’re all going to miss each other, how we’ll stay in touch over the summer, and how we’ll still remain best friends when school is back in session.