I think my heart stopped

The moment I gave up

I feel the blood slowly decreasing its pace 

I feel my tired body giving up 

And then I open my eyes, seeing light for the first time in a while

And I see a kind smile forming in those eyes

Thanks to you I feel hope again

I think sadness likes me because

It's lonely

No one ever wants it,

They all wish for happiness

And it knows I do not like to exclude

It knows that I'm vulnerable

It knows I'm searching for a purpose

And convinces me that it's to be sad

So no one else ever has to be

It knows how much I wish for the happiness

Of others

So it takes me over and devours everything

One of the deadliest viruses I've ever faced

I'll never be immune to it,

I know of no permanent antidotes

I suppose I’ll have to suffer a while more

But it's better than

Others being sad

I do not

Talk in colors as often now. 

It has been said to me

That my poetry is of lone attire,

Donned in black

And paired

With a sash of gold

Of only my own vision. 

If I am the only one

That can see such silk, 

Then it is my own color 

That I speak for myself. 

I want out.

I made it my charge,

My charge to search for the rest of this life

For my Purpose.

I cannot live for earthly things,

These things do not bring me joy,

But rather emptiness.

And a longing for something which I do not know the true origins,

Or the true name.

But I long nonetheless.

So I call it Jesus.

And I can feel the intense response of its longing for me.

I want out.

And the path is living its Purpose,

Not earthly things.

Just in case you're out there God, please show me my way.

Lost Orphan.

The Jig is up Ya'll

Picture Perfect calamity

Trident heights of ambiguity

But in all this I am still minuscule

Smaller than some of you

Excuse my candor

And If you don't

I shrug

I throw my wading hook in

I digress

For in the beginning I was formed

Ands in the end I was born

Blyss

Tonight I want to drink until my pen is wet.

Until the moments unfurl...float away into the mist of ink and fire.

Tonight I drink to remember and forget.

Tonight I drink to new loves and old flames.

Torn out clippings from newspapers long since yellowed and crushed.

Tonight I drink to the roads that rise up to meet us.

The thirst on a summer's day in a pasture twenty years back

To the white fences. To the field hands.

To the bitches in my past.

To cool autumn days and mint julips on the porch.

Tonight I drink to wet my pen

To pay tribute to those that inspire

Encourage and to those who dismantle a soul with a smile and a

Bless your heart.

Tonight I drink for you

the tang of his skin

the salt of your tears

the warmth of his body

the cold winter years

the music he plays

the song that you fear

the cut of his suit

the mascara that's smeared