Go Away
Fucking birds! Fucking Canada Geese! Every time I go to the library, which is quite often, some goose shits on my car. This only happens at the library. Why? I park at the post office one half mile away with no issues. I don't know if you have ever seen seen a goose poop but it is huge! Then I have to spend $12 at the car wash to clean it off. Go home! You are supposed to be in Canada. And you people - stop feeding them and they will go away.
*thank you mishmash for sparking my brain.
May Days are A-Okay
Of course the most special thing about May is my birthday. In fact the day this missive is due is my birthday – keep that in mind.
Other famous people born on my birthday – Scatman Crothers, Ken Jennings, Artie Shaw, Margaret Wise Brown, Agathe Uwilingiyimana (born the same year as me as well), and Robert Moog just to name a few. A diverse group; so much for astrology.
There are lots of holidays to celebrate: May Day, Cinco de Mayo, Mothers Day, and Memorial Day; more fun days like May the Fourth, National Wine Day, World Otter Day, Sherlock Holmes Day, Bike to Work Day and…wait for it…Lucky Penny Day (May 23rd). May has exciting events to attend as well - the Kentucky Derby, Dragon Boat Races, the Eurovision Song Contest, and the Indy 500 (go Penske!!!).
So now celebrate May and my birthday by giving me lots of likes.
Day One
Elena had been excited to start Kindergarten so I was surprised when I picked her up that she was frowning.
“How was it?”
She looked at me worriedly “I didn’t learn how to read!”
I attempted not to laugh; only Elena would expect this.
“Well, very few children learn how to read their first day of school.”
“Linda can read.”
“She didn’t learn today. She has an older sister who probably taught her. My sister taught me but it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
“Why?”
“She punched me when I didn’t get a word right.”
“Ouch.”
“Give it a few months.”
When You Said
When you said,
“You really hate her don’t you?’’
I guess I was surprised.
I was only eight but
I had said something nasty to mother,
Behind her back of course.
I don’t remember what it was
I just remember your reaction,
That look on your face.
“You really hate her don’t you?’’
I hadn’t thought about it before,
But I realized you were right
And I said, “Yes, don’t you?”
You shook your head, and said no.
And I wondered then, and still do now,
How could you not hate her?
To everything...
Welcome, welcome to the best time of the year. I bring you lots of celebrating and fun. You have all been moaning because the nights are getting longer and now I bring you the joy of more sunshine every day. I bring you snow so you can ski and sled. And frozen water for ice skating. And if you folks never have cold weather, well then I give you a reprieve from the extreme heat of other seasons.
Oh yeah, right, you are so full of yourself. All you do is bring bad weather. It’s so cold plants can’t grow and people are huddled in their houses trying to keep warm. Do you ever think of them? Most animals have to hide away for months to survive. I bring the best weather; warm days and cool nights. The flowers start to bloom and everyone can enjoy the outdoors. They don’t have to artificially warm their houses. Everyone is happy when I arrive. And of course I have the best celebrations!!!
Oh brother, you are so unstable. One day it is nice and warm and then suddenly BAM it’s freezing and all the plants and tree buds that were fooled into popping out die. You confuse everyone. No one knows what to wear; they are either too hot or too cold. And with you arrives the pollen and so many bugs. I of course am the best. I make all the vegetables and fruits grow and ripen. There is so much for everyone to do that we don’t need a lot of made up celebrations; every day is a celebration.
Some fun! What about your weather!? Hurricanes and thunderstorms and tornadoes. So much destruction. Heat and droughts in some areas and floods in others. You make living in some places next to impossible. People hiding in their houses waiting for ME! I bring beautiful colors to the trees and the weather is magnificent. Festivals and celebrations of all kinds; giving thanks to me for bountiful harvests.
Heh heh heh – did you forget about the encroaching darkness and your “unstable” weather? Remember the year you gave some folks a hurricane followed two day later by a huge snowstorm? Hmmm, well I guess we all have our good points and our bad. I hope everyone can find something to look forward to in any season.
Guess Who
Furry face, bright eyes
Cute whiskers twitching
He spends all his days
Swimming the river.
Cute whiskers twitching
Playful and funny
Swimming the river
A joyful spirit.
Playful and funny
Slipping and sliding
A joyful spirit
He loves the water.
Playful and funny
He spends all his days
Swimming the river
A joyful spirit.