He was strong

But like to make himself bleed,

Had it all,

But refused to believe

What others saw

He could never come

to see

Lived in constant fear and sorrows’ endless grief

A rabbit caught in the fence

Since he was three

Gnawing at his limbs

Hoping to be free

Surviving predators that

Stalk him while he sleeps

Never knew

Over his head, heaven

kept him covered

While he slept

In perfect peace.

In the beginning

I recall

My name

Engraved

on the basement rail

Our name on stone.

In the beginning,

The story

never fully told.

Father, two sons.

A mother

Who runs.

Wherever did the spirit go.

Together,

Is a lost memory.

A wandering stream

Sometimes

Flowing back

With some part of me-

It leaves.

Strike a match

In dim light,

Our faces flicker

Warm and bright.

Who we were

Then

who we are,

Who are we.

As it was in the beginning,

So it is now,

Never fully knowing.

Part

Family blood

And soul.

Distilled in time

Suspended within

Serogenic

formaldehyde.

cobwebs cover

Home.

I hold a solitary string

..Haven’t found a way

to weave

All the broken ends into

The story of

Our Family.

Through small

hidden seams

Fountains leak.

In time, precipitating

converging, condensing

Forming clouds

that fail to rain.

Open mouths

Spill words

Evaporating

clouds.

Condensing into stone

hard and heavy truth

Falling down.

No narrow crevice

No crumbling mountains

Will conceal

What fire mixed with vapor

reveal.

I fear the worst from you.

I hate the way

My blood goes cold

When I feel this way.

I hate the fear

In me.

I hate the stone-walled will in you-

I fear those things

that won't be moved.

I fear those things

That stand in the way.

I fear somehow I might be stopped—

From getting everything I want

to stay.

The talons long and gnarled toes

did clean

Cut the sinewed straps

Away

Detaching once it was

The head bound

And neck

To shouldered wings,

now freed

the headless bird doth

Rot away

Its Downey feathers scattered

And heaves of piles of life once held together now forever in

disbanded disarray

I’m re-creating spaces

Stepping into

Patterned

ancient paces

Recapturing the simplicity of a day

As I go through changes.

Christmas

The witness

God with us

Living in

Fulfilled promises

Truth is deeper than reality

Maybe we find a way

For the truth to let us even if for a moment, be free

Help us weave together

Amidst our trials

A chain-link of your faithfulness

Wrapped around our neck in memory

Light a blunt up with the flame

Put that cocaine on a plate

Molly with the purple rain

'Cause I lost my faith

So I cut away the pain

Got it swimming in my veins

Now my mind is out of place

I feel everything

I feel everything from my body to my soul

When I'm coming down is the most I feel alone

I've been sober

now it's time for me

To go back to my old ways, don't you cry for me

Thought I'd be a better man

but I lied to me and to you

I take 2 xanys and I still stay awake

All my demons wanna pull me to my grave

I choose Vegas if they offer Heaven's gate

I tried to love

but you know I'd never stay

I'd never stay

if I OD, I want you to OD right beside me

I want you to follow right behind me

I want you to hold me while I'm smiling

While I'm dying

And if you know me

When I go missing, you know where to find me

Driving down the boulevard

is blinding

Im out of my

Mind again.

Deft

mute

Dumb

Blind.

Bereft

Naive

Inattentive

Unwise.

Inept

Obtuse

impressionable

mind.

His fingers are made of charcoal

Everything he touches

Soiled black

Stark contrast

To a world

Laden in grey.

But he sees the world

In primary color

Layers of acrylic

And oil

Recasting each blemish

With imagination and brushstroke.