Bobby walked into the room and Julie Ann's heart fluttered. She hated it. Her body betrayed her. How could she have feelings for someone who embodies the antithesis of everything she believed. Sure, Bobby was tall and had features that were easy on the eyes. But his attitudes toward women were from the stone age. In fact, he barely even considered them human. Yet here she was, with all the other girls in class fawning over the arch typical alpha male. The guy all the other guys want to be, and all the girls want to be with. If you are thinking Gaston from Beauty and the beast you're not far off. Now bobby wasn't a cartoon villain. He never actually treated anyone with disdain and seemed to think too highly of himself, but he did walk around with confidence and that confidence, coupled with his natural appearance garnered him a lot of privilege, which he was not ashamed to cash in on when needed.

Julie Ann looked around the room. She noticed the other girls whose bodies involuntarily became putty when he entered the room. It disgusted her. Women were not put on this Earth to merely service men as if that's the whole of existence. It was moments like this that she hated her own biology with the passion of a super nova. Her mind didn't need or want men, but her body was a different matter altogether. Her body wanted as much to have those strong arms wrapped around her as much as any other girl wanted it, maybe more. To have those lips pressed against hers would be heaven. Just as she was getting lost in the thought, she snapped herself out of it and a wave of disgust washed over her.

How could she think like that? How could she voluntarily want to live under the oppression that women who came before her had no choice but to put up with. She has a choice! She must choose freedom! She must navigate relationships on her own terms. Let all the pick Me's fight over Bobby. He isn't a prize worth winning. As the thoughts swirl around her head, she feels someone's stare. She looks up to see Bobby standing next to her desk.

"Hi, Julie Ann, right?" Bobby asks. Julie's face flushes as her body continues its betrayal with full force.

"Yeah." Was all she could get out. She instinctively started playing with her hair which would later irritate her to no end.

"I'm having some trouble with English and Freddie clued me in that you are really smart in that. I really need to pass or I'll be ineligable for the playoffs. You wouldn't mind helping me out, would you?" Bobby's voice sounded sweet, and Julie Ann could tell he had a lot of practice talking to girls. She was trapped though. He could have talked to her like a jerk, and she would still have had to say yes. If Bobby didn't play in the game, the team would lose and everyone would blame her for it. Her life would be over.

"I would love to help you." Juile Ann replied.

"Great, I knew you wouldn't let me down. I'll catch up with you later." Bobby answered.

"Okay" Was all she could say in reply.

Her body's dream had come true, she would be alone with Bobby. However, her mind had a different opinion. She would be forced the help the one person that in her mind personified evil and set women's rights back a few centuries.

One day I woke up and I had a revelation. I had a mind-blowing realization. I realized that I could learn to cook. Not only could I learn to cook, but I could learn to cook the things I liked, just the way I liked them. I didn't have to rely on someone else to cook for me.

So, I started to not only cook, but to figure out how to cook things the way I like it. Now, other people may not (and certainly don't) like to eat some things the way I like to but that's okay because I'm not cooking for other people, I'm cooking for myself.

So, I don't need a woman to cook for me. In fact, I don't need a woman to clean for me either. I am more than capable of doing both to my own satisfaction, which is all that matters.

There is that old feminist trope, the one where a man demands that a woman make him a sandwich and she responds by telling him to make his own sandwich, with a curse word added for emphasis. However, why would I want someone else to make something when they are just going to screw it up. They are going to make it the way they want, not the way I want. If I can't have it the way I want it, what's the point?

Then I thought to myself, where did that attitude come from? The attitude that no one would even be willing to make me something the way I want it. The question is never ability. Anyone can learn how to cook. The question is intent. Then I realized that society has drilled it into me, not to expect anything from a woman. After all, she's not my mother.

For the last few years, I've been obsessed with gender relations. I watched countless hours of YouTube videos on the subject from many different perspectives. What I found is that there is a lot of bitterness out there from both men and women.

There are a lot of women who just straight up hate men. There are also a lot of women who have decided that they are done with being a "strong independent" woman. They have reached a place in their life where they don't want to go through it alone anymore. However, they are having a hard time getting the men they want to take them seriously and they have come to the realization that they will be spending the rest of their lives alone.

There are also men who hate women. They resent women because they are in that large group of men with whom women won't give the time of day. There are also men who have witnessed friends or relatives being taken to the cleaners in divorce and hesitate to enter into that kind of arrangement themselves.

I am in that large group of men with whom women don't even see. There are reasons for that which I won't regurgitate here but once explained make perfect sense.

So, I have come to a place where I am sympathetic with the things women have to consider when selecting a partner. I can also accept that as a man I need to develop myself to a certain extent otherwise women aren't going to see me. I can choose to put in that work or if I think it's not worth it, not put in the work.

I never thought that I would ever be the object of any womans desire. I also thought I would end up as the guy that some woman had to settle for because she either let the guy she really wanted go or couldn't secure him in the first place.

However, I was wrong. This past year I met a woman who truly desired me. It was as amazing as I thought it would be. I had never felt love like that from anyone before. It would have been beyond amazing if that could have been maintained but that turned out not to be the case. Still, I don't regret it for even a moment. She loved me and it felt more real than anything else I have ever experienced. If she is reading this, she should know that she deserves both love and devotion.

I'm not ever going to be the same and it's in the best way possible. To leave someone in a better place than when you found them is a good thing and that is certainly the case with me. I don't expect to ever find that again but at least I now know it's possible.

You may be asking what "hitting the wall" means in terms of mate selection. What it means is that you are no longer capable of attracting the person you want. In the case of women, they can always get sex. There will always be some guy somewhere willing to have sex with you if you are desperate enough, but I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

Men start out worthless (unless they have looks) and have to work to get to the place where they can attract the person they want. Most men never get to that place.

If you've seen a video by some woman who has realized that they don't want to be alone anymore and can no longer attract the person they want, it can be sad because you only live once and if you screw it up, that's pretty much it. However, I don't feel sorry for anyone, especially myself. I'm responsible for putting in the work to get the life I want. I either do it or I don't. That's what being a man is.

So, I'm doing it and the closer I get to that place, the more that women are going to notice. That's just the way it works. However, I'm not working on myself to attract a woman, I am working on myself because the more I work on myself, being the person I've always wanted to be, the happier I am going to be.

There is a woman who is worth being devoted to, I know because I've met her, and she has set the bar super high for any other woman that might find me attractive in the future.

Way back in 2020, when Donald Trump and Joe Biden were vying for the office of President of the United States, one of the things that was claimed by Democrats was that Donald Trump posed a grave threat to Democracy and the only way to save it was to elect Joe Biden. Well, we did that and now Joe Biden is President. Now as the 2024 election is approaching, there are Democrats who want to keep Donald Trump from running for President entirely by keeping him off the ballots of as many states as possible.

Regardless of your personal feelings toward Donald Trump, isn't keeping him off the ballot and not letting the people decide the opposite of Democracy?

But perhaps you think that people are too stupid to be allowed to pick their own leaders and while I think that's a valid argument, it's still anti-democratic.

But then, have we ever really picked our own leaders, we have two political parties that give us a choice between 2 people. Haven't the political parties really picked our leaders for us, and we just decide which parties' choice we want, and it doesn't really matter which one we pick.

Now that I'm really thinking about it, we've never lived in a democracy to begin with so whether Donald Trump's name is on the ballot or not it really doesn't matter and anyone who claims you need to do something to save Democracy is lying to you.

I'm having trouble sleeping. I wish there was someone to talk to but there is no one. I used to have acquaintances. I mean I used to have acquaintances online as opposed to in person. I could get online pretty much anytime and find someone who would talk to me. Now I don't.

I was recent posts that people have just posted. I thought about leaving a comment on a few but I stopped myself. The reason I didn't leave a comment is because I didn't want to impose on anyone. I know that sounds stupid, but most people are not interested in what I think. At least not interested enough to have a conversation.

I had a conversation with someone once and I confessed that most people find me boring. The response I got was that it's not that I'm boring it's just that my interests lie outside the normal scope of what most people are interested in. It got me thinking that there is someone somewhere who is interested in the same things I am. To that person I would not seem boring. To that person I would be someone interested in talking to. I guess the trick is running into that person. So it's okay if anyone reading this finds this post or any other post I've made boring. It just means you're not the person I'm looking for. Here on Prose, we do have a common interest in writing so maybe the person I'm looking for is here somewhere or maybe not. If they are, they may never find me.

But then I think if I ever did run into anyone who was responsive, I wouldn't know how to handle it. It would be something way outside of my normal experience. It would really take some getting used to.

I didn't take any kind of stimulant to keep me awake. I would really rather be sleeping. Since there isn't anyone to talk to, I will just have to settle for writing out my thoughts and posting them.

I've come a long way since I joined Prose. I'm certainly not as clueless as I used to be and that's saying a lot because I was really clueless. I felt really stupid and it's not because I am stupid but it's because I don't catch on to things as fast as I would like which if I'm thinking about it might qualify as being stupid and if not stupid it certainly qualifies as being slow.

When I first started, I met people and made acquaintances. There were people I met here on Prose and kind of knew. Some I knew better and some I knew less than better. I thought that if I could make enough friends there would always be someone to talk to. It's kind of like putting eggs in a lot of different baskets. If one person wasn't available or didn't want to talk, there would be someone else who would and that way I wouldn't be lonely. My idea worked. I knew enough people that would talk to me that if I wanted some company, I could find it. That way I'm not relying on one or two people. I mean who wants someone hanging on them all the time.

But the thing about time is that it changes people. Billy Joel sings in his song "Baby Grand" that he "had friends but they slipped away." That's what happened to me. I wouldn't say that I was deserted but time takes people in different directions and now I don't have anyone.

I hard part is always getting noticed. Sometimes it works but a lot of times it doesn't. There are people who believe there is someone for everyone. I'm not one of those people but if that's it really the case, how do those two people destined for each other meet up. It just happens through dumb luck, but I digress.

I would love to complain about the injustices of being ignored or failing to attract the attention of anyone and I guess I'm kind of doing that.

The thing is I have a hard time blaming anyone for ignoring me. Society is brutal and attention is not always a good thing. If am unable to grab anyone's attention, it's not their fault. There is someone who would find me interesting if they took the time to find out, I just haven't run into that person yet.

Well, actually I have run into that person. It took a long, long, long, time to run into that person and now they are gone. When I ran into this person, I didn't believe in love but they made me rethink my position because I felt love. I don't have the words to describe it.

Now it's gone and I'm rethinking my position. The thing is my heart isn't broken. I'm not sad. I'm grateful for the opportunity to have felt something I never thought I would ever feel. When I think about it now, I feel peaceful bliss. I don't even feel sad thinking that this may be the only time in my entire life I will ever feel this way.

I'm not looking for romance, I'm just looking for a friend. Is that too much to ask? For most people it is and that's okay.

I just read an article which said that the population of Japan has declined by 800,000 people last year. Furthermore, that trend should continue as the average age of a person in Japan is going up.

The article didn't give any reasons or solutions to the problem, it only mentioned that the Japanese government is taking the news very seriously and are contemplating a response to get things moving in the right direction again.

Of course, the "problem" is with women. I know how sexist that sounds but men can't have babies. The question to answer is why women aren't having babies. A simple answer is that women are prioritizing their career and waiting until they are older to have children and there just isn't time to have multiple babies at that point. Another possible answer is that women are not settling for less than they 'deserve'. Maybe women have always been like this but before the advent of birth control, they had to have children that they didn't want. Maybe there are just more things to do today than sit around the kitchen being pregnant or maybe children are just too darn expensive these days.

Whatever the reason I don't think the government is going to get the baby factories to gear up production any time soon. A population crash is coming, and I don't think much can be done about it.

Seventeen days, I've waited for you

Seventeen days, I've needed you to

take my hand, and lead me to the end

Seventeen days, I've cried for you

Seventeen days, I've lied for you

and now I fear, that this could be the end

Love doesn't know,

that the advantage has been taken and so

there's nothing left to give

I don't need to cry,

when the advantage has been taken and now

I have no reason left to live

Seventeen days, I've been wanting you

Seventeen days, I've been craving you

so take my hand, and lead me to the end

Seventeen days, I've been watching you

Seventeen days, I've been needing you

to take my hand, and lead me to the end

Love doesn't know,

that the advantage has been taken and so

there's nothing left to give

I don't need to cry,

when the advantage has been taken and now

I have no reason left to live

You can be cruel and you don't even know it

but then again maybe you do

You don't care when you don't even know it

so I shouldn't be walking back to you

Love doesn't know,

that the advantage has been taken and so

there's nothing left to give

I don't need to cry,

when the advantage has been taken and now

I have no reason left to live

Seventeen days, I've waited for you

Seventeen days, I've needed you to

take my hand, and lead me to the end

Seventeen days, I've cried for you

Seventeen days, I've lied for you

and now I fear, that this could be the end