No! I said; please go away
I don’t want to be touched that way
But my words they went unheeded
For I had something that he needed
I am way too young to go through this
And my innocence I’ll miss
Please don’t rob me of my youth
I promise I won’t tell the truth
It didn’t matter that I said no
He wouldn’t stop; he refused to go
He told me that he cared for me
And this was how it ought to be
I was young, I hadn’t a clue
Maybe this was, what you were supposed to do
It didn’t really seem all that bad
And he treated me just like a dad
But time was not on his side
And he could no longer hide
Mom could tell that things weren’t right
And she called the police that night
I’m so young, I hope I forget
I just was not ready yet
He shouldn’t have touched this young male
For now his spends his days in jail
Life goes on, and so do I
Sometimes I see my mother cry
Me, I’m just a happy teen
I hide my scars, where they can’t be seen
The walls are high, the climb is steep
Resistance is low, feelings are deep
Fighting hard to stay in control
All this emotion is taking it's toll
Trying hard to keep it all in
Not wanting to lose, by letting it win
Distance is both friend and foe
Wanting to stay, yet yearning to go
The battle rages everyday
I'm really not liking living this way
It's not right, it feels so wrong
Why is it going on so long?
Looking for the end of the tunnel
Trying to squeeze through life's funnel
Keep looking for that greener grass
For I know, this too shall pass
Nowhere to Run
When I was 5, my mom left me in the car when she went shopping. When I did go in with her, she let me roam the store to look for the toy aisle. If I had to use the restroom, I went by myself. No, she wasn’t a bad mom deserving of having CPS called on her, that was the norm. Everyone did it. Sure, there were bad people, and yes, someone could have harmed me, but it rarely happened. The world was different.
When my son was 5, although there were a few times I wanted to leave him in the car while I shopped in peace, there was no way I would do so. Besides the fact that someone would call the authorities, I feared that someone would kidnap him. Once inside the store, he was with me at all times, he was not even allowed to go to the restroom without me, for fear someone might molest him. The world was different.
Today, my grandson is 5. I no longer want to even take him to a store, for fear he may get shot and killed. The world is different. AND THERE’S NOWHERE TO RUN.
She’s Watching You
There is a woman that I know,
Sometimes she’s friend, sometimes she’s foe.
She’s visted me a time or two,
To remind me that she’s informed of all I do.
Her teeth are sharp, and her nails are long.
Her reach is far, and her grip is strong.
It doesn’t matter where you are,
She’ll reach you by bus, she’ll reach you by car.
At times I have wished her upon another.
For a short or long stay, one or the other.
Her magical powers I’ve prayed to share,
With others who deserve her mystical fare.
She certainly can change your life.
She can fill it with agony, shame and strife.
Other times she brings happiness, joy, and fun.
It just depends on the things you have done.
She’s bold, she’s large, she’s far and wide.
She’s the sun, the moon, the Earth, the tide.
So live your life like someone is watching all you do,
Because one day, Karma, is going to get you too.
#karma #bitch #watching #watchingyou #getyou
Dream upon a wish
A dream is something you hold onto
A wish is something you put out there
You chase a dream
You spread your wishes
You work towards your dream
You hope others work your wishes
Not everyone has a dream
Everyone has lots of wishes
My dream is for all my wishes to come true
#Dream #Dreams #Wishes #Dreamcometrue
The Only Way Out
Suicide, the taking of your own life
after suffering some sort of painful strife.
Sometimes it seems to be the only way
of making the bad just go away.
It's not something everyone can understand
It's not the way out we all would have planned.
But sadness, depression, hurt and pain
can cause the mind to go insane.
Many call it a very selfish thing to do
Because there are other ways to cope, it's true.
But when a brain just cannot rest
That person feels they are doing what's best.
Some go silently and some with a bang
Some want to jump, while others hang.
Some do it to calm the voices in their head.
All believe they are better off dead.
If it's something you are thinking about
If you feel it's the only way out,
Please just think before you do
Perhaps there is someone who can be there for you.
Suicide is not a victimless crime
It affects many for a very long time.
Your pain may end when it's all done
But someone else's has just begun.
#Suicide #Poetry #Death #Help #pain
The Angel I Never Knew
I sent a text with no reply
I called your mother to find out why
I asked her if you were there
For her answer, I could not prepare
She told me that you were dead
She said you had died there in your bed
She said it happened the week before
And she didn’t have my phone number anymore
How could this be, I just talked to you
You thought you might just have the flu
You said you were starting to feel okay
I never thought you would pass away
I felt your death was my fault somehow
And if things were different you’d be alive now
You took it hard, you took it rough
When our kind of friendship just wasn’t enough
When I couldn’t love you as you did me
When my love wasn’t filled with the same intensity
You took to the bottle to numb your mind
In alcohol, peace, you did find
My grief was filled with guilt and shame
Would you be alive if I had loved you the same?
I cried for you and cried for me
I couldn’t deal with that possibility
I needed answers your mom could not supply
I wanted to know how I wanted to know why
I spoke to your brother with whom you had limited ties
And found out our relationship was founded on lies
He described to me a man I never knew
He told me about the real you
Secrets you kept totally hidden away
I was introduced to a new man that day
I didn’t even know the real guy
That sat there and looked me in the eye
And told me about a life that he didn’t live
Hoping for the sympathy I would give
And now I’m not sure what to do
How do you grieve for a man you thought you knew?
The things you told me, were they ever true?
I’m not quite sure how to go about missing you
I feel our relationship was filled with deceit
And now it’s messing with my grief
I’m sorry that you died that night
I’m also sorry you never made it right
I grieve for a life taken too soon
For a man, whose music lost its tune
For a lost soul who didn’t know what was true
I grieve for me not knowing you
I've been following this person for so long
It’s funny but chasing them never felt wrong
I had such a burning need to feel her touch
I never knew I needed it this much
And then one day she beckoned me
I wanted to turn, run and flee
But she had a gun to my head
So I submitted to her instead
She holds me hostage every day
But honestly I don’t want to get away
For my captor as you see
Is just the smarter side of me