Written September ninth,

two thousand and twenty one.

Reposted exactly three years later.

Here at 2 Highland Manor Drive

Schwenksville, Pennsylvania.

Actually all three people

linkedin to each other courtesy

Dissociative Identity Disorder

(Multiple Personality Disorder).

Wiccan up to mystical alien way

I raptly listened as she didst soothsay

scanned -- din heavy yen reference

about paganistic folkloric history

regarding Sweden and Oslo (also) Norway.

The missus dubbed

aforementioned young gal "curvy girl,"

a zaftig smart young woman

super talented self taught herself

to draw, sketch, and paint.

Only unmarried millennial men need apply,

perhaps someone who hails from buckeye

state - ideally above average

humorous gallivanting fellow

plus somewhat meshuggeneh cockeye

Louie garden variety

wealthy eccentric recluse

who doth blatantly defy

establishmentarian paradigm

you rarely espy,

cause he stays sequestered

about dozen doors down

from (femme fatale) ha

said alluded to chick named

three faces of

eve vent jewel one Jen Fry

easy on the eyes

courtesy me, a generic guy,

who experienced amicable chat

referencing aforementioned lass

the first encounter with her

found yours truly saying "hi"

devoid of ulterior motives

only casual acquaintanceship did I imply

cuz even if this former bachelor

(got married twenty fifth of July

nineteen hundred and ninety six)

hypothetically decoupled,

cuz the age difference between us

quite substantial qua aging baby boomer

born two years after Bridge

over the River Kwai

filmed - then rocked to sleep

courtesy Brahms lullaby

if fain to sire offspring with lass

(young enough to be my daughter)

kiddos would witness their papa to mummify.

Our friendly communication

peppered with structures of silence

coasted along with zest

and dialed up quite lathered dialogue

betwixt us I do attest

mutual comfort level quickly established

between yours truly

and said attractive beefy babe,

who possessed killer thunder thighs

shaking the entire firmament.

entrapped within webbed wide world

weft as a rump pulled stilts skein

at warp speed exhibiting

my heroic trumpian wiles

cuz he (johnny come lately) a then

exemplary hedonist, narcissist,

and polygamist dons

comical, farcical, illogical, lunatical...

offal dolled up endearing guise,

when inconvenient truth broached

particularly determining paternity,

no matter countless progeny sport windblown

swiftly tailored mimicked

matted coiffure of mine

resembling hirsute trademark

of appalling though

revered forty fifth president,

nevertheless harried hair styles

in tandem with fabrications riles

the madding crowd - myself included

into frenzied orgasmic state,

no matter yours truly upholds

voluntary penitential platonic

marital modus operandi

suddenly as one celibate sexagenarian

absent physical intercourse

intolerable as hemorrhoids or piles

analogous to flat footed

yardbird schlepping miles

joining the long line of exiles.

Vice president of United states

gifted with maiden name Harris,

whose surname same as mine

one I feel like a proud boy to profess,

cuz ma late polymath

papa jack of all trades

self taught handyman skills

as an A1 roofer who repaired

and raised the entire roof

from stem to stern

never contracted shingles,

nor did his prodigal son - yours truly - me

experience the bane of painful rash

that can appear as a stripe of blisters

that wraps around the side of the torso

and caused by varicella-zoster virus (VZV),

the same virus that causes chickenpox,

hence Preparation H

best over the counter ideal balm

to ameliorate painful rectal itch

and thwart bummed out uneasiness,

enjoying consummated adultery

avoiding using uncomfortable prophylactics

(prickly prohibited topic dejure)

though riding bareback

doth severely aggravate,

complicate, impregnate, and vitiate

surrogate domestic policy

putting a modern spin

on Anna and the King of Siam

with intent to create aery vision of utopia,

where videre licet barenaked ladies

essentially gamely frolic

in the autumn mist

fomenting one after another

to tease out rock ribbed ready erection

with premature ejaculation for excitation

Harum-scarum fidelity be damned

bordello supplants "city on a hill"

buzzfeeding playboy bunnies

with fourteen carrots to squire

then politely escort each

to their respective boudoir

in a blatant, explicit effort

to foster and grow caliphate

at the expense of electorate qualm

impossible mission to keep

brood of squired earthlings in the balance

portends especial ominous nightmare

if Project 2025 implemented

also known as

the 2025 Presidential Transition Project,

constitutes a political initiative

published by the Heritage Foundation

that aims to promote conservative

and right-wing policies

to reshape the United States federal government

and consolidate executive power

if the Republican candidate

garners majority of votes

making first day on the Somme

feel like kindergarten tussle

as anarchy rears up across

United States of America

pitting (olive him nonetheless) despicable

unnamed despot wannabe

analogous courtesy unsettled Leviathan

surfacing from the deep cyber sea

against cherished inalienable

constitutional rights buoying

the land of the free

and home of the brave

renting the country asunder,

with incendiary vitriolic rhetoric,

which similar fate befell Vietnam

thanks be partially

to hydrogenated, and promulgated

American foreign policy.

as highlighted below

to re:captcha wretched colonialism.

The (shameful – my input) about United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory

The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War

The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war

After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations

In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions.

The United States' foreign policy in Vietnam was shaped by several factors, including the Domino Theory, the Vietnam War, and the legacy of the war:

The Domino Theory

The U.S. foreign policy after World War II was based on the idea that if one country fell to Communism, the surrounding countries would follow, like dominoes.

The Vietnam War

The U.S. supported South Vietnam against North Vietnam, and fought in the war directly. The U.S. trained and assisted South Vietnamese forces, and conducted ground operations, river and canal patrols, and more. The war was costly and divisive, with estimates of over 3 million Vietnamese deaths and around 58,318 American deaths.

The legacy of the war

After the war, the U.S. imposed a trade embargo on Vietnam and severed ties with the country. The U.S. believed that Vietnam had violated the Paris Peace Accords and had not accounted for American prisoners of war. The embargo lasted until 1994.

Normalizing relations

In the 1990s, President Bill Clinton began normalizing diplomatic relations with Vietnam. Today, the U.S. and Vietnam have a relationship that includes maritime security assistance, and partnerships between Vietnamese universities and U.S. higher education institutions.

Before concluding this poem,

I wanna hammer home,

and nail laughable

personal misperception of

suspecting that roofers

specifically plagued with shingles

constituted from the following materials.

Asphalt: A traditional choice

for homeowners, asphalt shingles

made from a fiberglass or paper mat

covered in tar and granules.

Composite: These synthetic shingles

made from a combination of materials,

including recycled materials,

slate, laminate, and wood.

Wood: Wood shingles and shakes

made from logs of trees like Western Red Cedar,

Cypress, pine, or Redwood.

Some pieces are treated

with preservatives or fire retardants.

offers his unsolicited tidbits

as scene courtesy

the following virtually

staged philosophical insight.

Arch back like

a professional ballet dancer

to stand out from other pedestrian applicants

seeking to fill my well-worn shoes

that fit my little feet.

Illuminate your soul

via modest communication

sans toe tilly tubular sole full insight

acquired thru being apprenticed

with storied prestigious law firm

of Anne Culle, Achilles Heale,

and Marathon Nike.

Keep your nose to the academic grindstone

despite the temptation

to appropriate the international family business

and graduation with supreme accolades

from one unnamed famous father.

He forsook frivolity per his peers

in exchange for a stock reputation

of gentility honesty, and integrity

despite his humble roots

as the only male heir

of a Middle Eastern European

Jewish mother and father.

They scrimped, saved and sacrificed

scarce resources to set the stage

for this scion of well-deserved

fame and fortune.

Never forget those grandparents

whose adherence to work their fingers

to the bone (literally)

allowed, enabled and provided

this founding partner

per the trio of stalwart attorneys

for the underdogs

of the World Wide Web.

Match deeds with credo

of obedience to the law

of the land, as epitomized

by Abraham Lincoln.

Such obeisance to a democratic dogma

will be firm stepping-stones

to engender and kindle with tinder loving care

an Amazon zone of cathartic karma

from paternal persona.

Such acquiescence toward morals

of the conscience

(and remembrance of previous generations

blood, sweat and tears)

will serve as intrinsic manna

for clients to clamor

like an unstoppable rolling stone

to seek counsel from one

whose genuine heartfelt equalitarian demeanor

a near perfect recipe for satisfaction

for helping others smooth out

jagged abutments arising in their lives.

Rather than lecture and command

with a dictatorial cutthroat reign of terror

(as casually espoused in “The Prince”

by Machiavelli), this democratic,

humanistic, liberal minded

torchbearer of justice advises

active listening (as advocated

by the late Jean Dole,

my renown mentor

from Lima, Pennsylvania),

inculcating intuitive posturing

toward delivering random acts of kindness.

This includes offer services pro bono

if an individual, family, municipality,

et cetera appears copacetic

yet struggles against insurmountable

odds from the laugh-in fickle finger of fate.

Exemplify by example of zeal

for the underdog

(immersed in some catastrophic series

of unfortunate events – cue Lemony Snicket)

that money need not be demanded

before the welfare of the downtrodden

(sic – such as the fictitious Harns Family

from Penn Valley –

who live among the wealthiest people,

yet feel like outcasts of Poker Flats)

from the mere exuberance

of witnessing an ear to ear

smile of gratitude.

Rather than be biased,

inclined to be prejudiced

based on cursory observations

of one or many barely clinging

to the life raft of survival,

I (as a humble human)

encourage a relationship of trust

before casting an indiscriminate eye

toward those less fortunate

to live in the lap of luxury.

Luck (or the lack thereof)

an invisible yet potent additive

to this mix for those flush

with disposable income or exiled

to a hand to mouth hardscrabble dilemma.

Daily acknowledgement for

ethnic, genetic and quixotic

dice throw of chance in tandem

with loving support of immediate

kith and kin instrumental in keeping

in check bombastically egotistical,

haughtily radical degradation

of fixation of values steeped

in appreciation of aesthetics, beauty,

charm, decency, equality

from gifts hoed inside.

Joyfulness keeps love moving

needling offset predilections.

Quality rests squarely

upon the pillars of staying

within the bounds of service

to those less able bodied or beset

with untold obstacles that discourage

setting virtue (or the closest approximation

of what that means

to the inquiring mind)

as precedent to blaze a trail

of care and concern.

Always maintain benevolent devotion

forswearing greediness.

Invoke keepsake mandating

omnipotent natural personal righteousness

to vaccinate yourself against

heinous, nefarious, pernicious,

et cetera rapacious

trapdoors of selfishness.

*Hing or heeng is the Hindi word for asafetida (sometimes spelled asafoetida). It's also been known as the devil's dung and stinking gum, as well as asant, food of the gods, jowani badian, hengu, ingu, kayam, and ting. It is a dark brown, resin-like substance that is derived from the root of ferula.

born Stephanie Gregory Clifford

alternately titled:

breast damned fallacy hi-jinxed!

At a loss what to write

yours truly (re) riffled

thru mine feeble attempts

at posthumous fame and fortune

wishfully hoping to support

kith and kin linkedin

after I frolicked in the autumn mist

in a land called Honah Lee.

Scrolling thru MEM re: lane,

I milk the following poem

as potential cache cow

to yield if nothing more

than to trigger raised brows

regarding genetic seeds of life

planted during an alleged

one-night sexual encounter in 2006

with thenbusinessman

and later United States President

Donald John Trump.

In her “60 Minutes” interview aired

Sunday (March 26th, 2018),

the porn star known

within red light district

as Stormy Daniels bared

her "naked lady" version

swearing oath of honesty,

she emphatically dick cleared

on a stack of video nasties,

and x-rated 'zines

now she can live rest of life

guilt free offloading

hush money endeared

a posteriori into infinitely

jesting bordello loop

with calmly enchanting bug eyed,

drooling media hounds,

whose nostrils flared

squelching the trumpeting Don,

who maliciously glared

for traitorously breaching

“genital man's agreement”),

playing the (sock it to him role

of goody two shoes)

christened as averred Stephanie Clifford)

Norville "Shaggy" Rogers

long haired pseudo

Mayflower madam averred

to right justice in sought after

condom free nation,

where the turkey

ought tubby national bird

mandating free codicil

to second amendment as of furred

thus, that ass hide

from right to bear arms

premature sea man tick ejaculation

of Peter ought to be heard

where sudden sound

sans pubis seams burst

jock strapped unseen bulging Johnson's

onslaught hail of expletives cursed

out the mouth of salty

sailor spewing Prez,

hook halled for a recess first

and foremost before

questioning resumed

automatically immersed

within tawdry tabloid pulp pit

whore sing Bacchanalian refused to quit

particularly when groin

set zipper (flimsy – obviously,

NOT put thru linkedin

locked down rigorous paces

realized, when pry vet eyelit

of trouser snake split)

yielding singular (nada so sterling)

gamut gallimaufry variegated erector set

with singular bulbous

ram rod rocket like trivet

mothering possible love child

of Trump to wit.The reign of Stormy Daniels

born Stephanie Gregory Clifford

alternately titled:

breast damned fallacy hi-jinxed!

Scrolling thru MEM re: lane,

I milk the following poem

as potential cache cow

to yield if nothing more

than to trigger raised brows

regarding genetic seeds of life

planted during an alleged

one-night sexual encounter in 2006

with thenbusinessman

and later United States President

Donald John Trump.

In her “60 Minutes” interview aired

Sunday (March 26th, 2018),

the porn star known

within red light district

as Stormy Daniels bared

her "naked lady" version

swearing oath of honesty,

she emphatically dick cleared

on a stack of video nasties,

and x-rated 'zines

now she can live rest of life

guilt free offloading

hush money endeared

a posteriori into infinitely

jesting bordello loop

with calmly enchanting bug eyed,

drooling media hounds,

whose nostrils flared

squelching the trumpeting Don,

who maliciously glared

for traitorously breaching

“genital man's agreement”),

playing the (sock it to him role

of goody two shoes)

christened as averred Stephanie Clifford)

Norville "Shaggy" Rogers

long haired pseudo

Mayflower madam averred

to right justice in sought after

condom free nation,

where the turkey

ought tubby national bird

mandating free codicil

to second amendment as of furred

thus, that ass hide

from right to bear arms

premature sea man tick ejaculation

of Peter ought to be heard

where sudden sound

sans pubis seams burst

jock strapped unseen bulging Johnson's

onslaught hail of expletives cursed

out the mouth of salty

sailor spewing Prez,

hook halled for a recess first

and foremost before

questioning resumed

automatically immersed

within tawdry tabloid pulp pit

whore sing Bacchanalian refused to quit

particularly when groin

set zipper (flimsy – obviously,

NOT put thru linkedin

locked down rigorous paces

realized, when pry vet eyelit

of trouser snake split)

yielding singular (nada so sterling)

gamut gallimaufry variegated erector set

with singular bulbous

ram rod rocket like trivet

mothering possible love child

of Trump to wit.

Apalachee High School,

located in Winder, Georgia

witnessed an active shooter,

whereby the alleged lone gunman

(actually just a teenager of fourteen years)

killed four people and injured nine more

the latter hospitalized with injuries

after a shooting Wednesday

(June 4th, 2024) morning.

His (the lad who pulled the trigger

on the firearm – an AR platform-style gun)

father and mother must be held culpable,

and similar to the slain victims

surviving kith and kin

probably experience immense grief

(at least I would hope).

Yours truly (me),

a married sexagenarian and proud papa,

whose two grown daughters;

a twenty five old, lives in Bend, Oregon

and eldest - almost twenty six months

her kid sister's senior

resides within bucolic Ithaca, New York,

whereby he himself

dwells at Highland Manor Apartments

smack dab within the heart of

Perkiomen Valley, Pennsylvania

nestled here within suburban

southeastern Montgomery County

deeply affected by the tragedy

(as well as most previous occurring

violent, nasty, and brutish bloody crimes.

The Second Amendment of the United States Constitution protects the right of Americans to keep and bear arms. The original text of the Second Amendment is:

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed”.

The Second Amendment was ratified on December 15, 1791. Its origins can be traced back to ancient Roman and Florentine times, and to the late 16th century in England when Queen Elizabeth I required all classes of people to take part in a national militia.

I (a slight baby boomer at approximately

seventy inches tall from stem to stern

targeted as "scapegoat" during boyhood),

no longer a ticking time bomb harboring

rage against the machine,

would never buy nor use a weapon

intended to fire rapidly

loosing countless bullets,

nevertheless writer of these words

empathizes, sympathizes and telepathizes

third-person singular simple present

indicative forms of empathize,

sympathize, and telepathize respectively

with the predictable cited suspect,

who frequently trends toward being

a quiet natured, nerdy lad

at the receiving end

of verbal and physical harassment.

Still back in the day mean kids

indiscriminately name called me

attendant with closed fists

mere inches from my face -

both boys and girls made a point

to assail introspective

severely shy Matthew Scott Harris

pleading with cruel, fiendish, imps -

of the pervert please don't hurt me

and repeated the following saying:

sticks and stones may break my bones,

but words will never hurt me

(or so the playground adage

wants us to believe).

Words do hurt and the shame

those words can instill in us

have a way of instigating and

perpetuating inferiority complex

in our minds and our bodies.

Easy access to high powered military grade sophisticated woud find blunderbuss quaint.

More often than not such brutal and nasty (short lived) nefarious schemes directed at humble lettered people (like those comprising my home town of Lake Woebegone) minding their own p's and q's, when out of the blue a sudden bitta bing bitta bang rings the terrorist catcall followed by red tide and river of blood.

Thus occurs yet another staccato sinister sonic soundcloud boom across the pearl gray slate of some formerly anonymous place-name. which blitzkrieg of shells shattering (at shutterfly speed) the democratic rubric of society with senseless slaughter, whereat somber silence echoes the wails of agony.

This epidemic re: murderous love affair with gruesome morbid fixation allowing, enable and providing the terrifying trappings for angry person to maniacally gun down (in slo mo) a milling crowdsource (perhaps pathetic plan premeditated) employing coterie of odious loading incendiary fiery clips.

Suicide bombardier seeks to slake thirst to take aim with deadly precision, and spray with pump posse city, a congregated engaged group of people), with egregious fulfillment to mow down slew unsuspecting victims, which bring revulsion to this American citizen.

Death be not proud, nor ought airtime allocated to these heinous cavalier avengers.

Foe tee eight hour special proffers especial easy access to sophisticated high caliber compact offspring of rapaciously lethal gimcrackery cutlasses.

Sorrow soulful songs sung by the likes of death cab for cutie in tandem with foo fighting beastie boys pay homilies and homage to grateful dead.

Fetishistic martyrs wannabe set sights of sister and brothers of their same simian species.

Once target(s) locked and stocked per skull and cross bones, the ammunition barrels at greased lightning speed dead set upon unaware persons. the final minutes/seconds of various lives instantaneously cut short, when instagram cross hairs seal the fate upon avast group of happy go lucky men and women.

Instantaneous re: within the blink and/or flickr of and eye, the gallivanting live capital one progressive pinterest ting human hulu hooping unwittingly accompany the grim reaper as riders to final resting place.

Ribald exhortations and allegiance gifted from he/she who ushered in bereavement, where grief experiences a field day, whence pandora gorges philabundance like, as incalculable forsaken emptiness doles bleakness upon a grim outlook brought about per spilt blood, sweat and tears tallying the cost.

Mortal kombat rues unfathomable payless priceline, which induces adrenaline to course thru the melee, where survivors sprint non selfie ish lee to a safer outlook, where moments before the collective asylum seekers indulged in a joyus fancy feast per vanity fair, whence diehard fanatic (attired inconspicuously like some dishabille schlepper of an outlier) pulled the trigger releasing high powered voluminous ammunition loaded murderous mass homicidal instrument.

Netzero escape for those unfairly killed in ceaseless undeclared warfare, whereby killer (ofttimes a pissant punk) cooly unleashes fearsome fusillade from out the barrel per his/her lethal methodological munitions.

This wordsmith long in the tooth

unsure if I Cain

or Abel craft a spoof

espying name tags showing many male

(some imposters possibly

hired as "FAKE" sleuth),

nonetheless, slew of

employees under same roof

i.e. CVS Zieglerville location

share same first name,

thus clearly conclude,

said pharmacy not matt proof,

nor rock proof,

though not immune to poof

hacked material of ca horse,

hence qualify hoof

jest in case ya wonder this goof

fuss haint no rhyme nor reason

for yours truly - tug heave forsooth.

Methinks attempt to cobble

humor roundly readily goes flat

apprising failed coup debt tatt

fomented by one Harris tweed

Scottish lad named Matt,

whose cohorts christened same,

now empirically poised to strike rat

fink de facto leader who recruited

private militia for mortal kombat

by George, and drew names out of top hat

overestimated adherents"FAKE"

blind faith overlooking slim or fat

chance to trump and lobby

funds for Costello and Abbott

Vaudeville, and radio days of yore revival

at attempt to goose ooh..gnat

there! homespun humor that

long fostered storytelling and frat

turn eyes zing among folks

bridging versus atomizing, the latte

her endemic within Century 21

technology sowing seeds within chat

touring class repelling, polarizing, nat

trilly breeding suspicion

streaming re: a world flooded, née sat

chore rated solely predicated

on here a matt, there a matt

impossible mission

to rationalize away

everywhere a milquetoast matt matt

drowning sorrows in his watership

down of confidence

diluting self worthiness and told

by everyone to scat!

The word Gesundheit was first used in English in 1914. It became popular in the United States due to the many German immigrants who moved there. Many Americans may not be aware that Gesundheit is a German word, or even what it means.

Contrary ro popular belief, I experience sneezing fits

every now and again (like right nah... nah... mah now,

but cannot attribute sternutation linkedin to any known allergens).

An infinitesimal slight speck tickled nostril follicle – activated

via an itty bitty, nitty gritty dirt band noah bigger than a mole

luck yule set in motion a chain reaction, whence mine sensitive

proboscis honker (a wheeze hilly little bridged fine tuned pug

nose aroma sensor), got unexpectedly in gauged (in holy matt

trim mo’ knee) to achew, and eschew pledging troth (in favor

of hanky-panky) found this chap feeling phlegmatic despite

an endless strings of faux allergic emanations, which upon

subsiding left me throat rather raspy and voice some octaves

deeper akin to a coterie of celebrated jumping frogs from

Calaveras County, California took residence and took leave

sans stranglehold upon math rote upon awakening from a

hard day’s journey into night across the outer limits of thine

twilight zone resurrected during slumber, yet upon awake

kin ning felt much refreshed and hungry enough to eat a horse

– nee – make that forced whore – gulped down within a hoof

n hour and now recount how back in the day when zooming

thru the Lilies of the Valley (whooshing mass elf tubby an aero

plane) frequent bouts with uber twittering snapchatting sinus

attacks besieged crinkled, doppelganger expeller for germs

hunting with his clean X instantaneously for nasal passages

to enter surreptitiously the fecund effluvia dripping, oozing,

and seeping clear liquid as wintry cold air looses droplets

from out a near frozen nose, which bloke knows not why

frigid blast stimulates a gallimaufry of sniffling to spurt into

a volume of one after another gesundheitsnorting trumpeting

unwittingly confusing Canadian geese, who misconstrue the

honking from midway centered facial organ, which angry

birds in tandem with flock of Seagulls quite perturbed to

espy one curmudgeon chap clapping hands over (what feels

like a smashed face) in an effort to stifle subsequent gummy

emissions, which residue expectorated with heaven hoe.

This thick mucous essentially the defense mechanism of

a healthy body electric to restore biz zee nose as usual,

which for this mild mannered liberal leitmotif from the

chronicle of one matted nattering nabob of nativity attests

congested mob functioning like a well lubricated machine,

et for the life of me, nary a handy dandy blues clues evident

as per, how the human entity empowered to steamroll over

any reasonably annoying bugaboo. Ah, now if only a similar

innate defense mechanism arose within the mental health,

that would be a supreme testament to thine atheistic exist

ants of miracles minus the attendant pharmacopeia of this,

that or some other drug to aright skewered psyche (of this

contemplative, emotive and intuitive literate outlier),

whose fifty plus eight shades of gray matter went awry

and skewed toward tipping point (to cope with ordinary

cares and concerns of an uncertain whirled wide web)

found the bulk of his life riddled with a joe king, gun

slinging tub back ha chew win, bard arse wordsmith,

who doth newt like to utter any crossword.

for the umpteenth time

during spate to sit scrawny buttucks

on porcelain throne id est

videre licet toilet bowl...

with toxic water brew threatening

to overflow onto the floor,

and hence found yours truly (me)

immersing himself in the holistic experience

for the pure love of bucket flushing

since applying plunger to no avail

found me able, eager, ready and willing

to whoosh upon a star to enlist

the entrepreneurial daring doo doo

of eldest offspring to design a *corkerasp,

and found (me) zee papa frankly

zapped, pooped, fatigued, et cetera out,

thus daring poster boy afflicted

by recurrent bouts of constipation

to share embarrassing communiqué I post,

a reasonably rhyming poetic shout out

to air flatulent grievances

concerning outsize bowel movement

hoping (fat/slim shady chance)

Mike Rowe happens tubby about,

though shadow of a doubt,

he will avail himself

anal eyes zing thee

nightly dump for yesterday

September 2nd, 2024 - whereby

plying plunger in vain, cuz suction

barely helped obstruction give way,

I nearly lost me life and limb oy vey

oh my dog, the same asinine outcome

which spurred poet to get underway

matter of fact, a replay

of excretion almost

occurred earlier today,

and thus an attempt to describe

a tragicomic scenario

regarding bowel movement

the size of subway tram,

an urgent message to maintenance person,

yours truly must relay

overflowing potty nearly

found yours truly quay

king, yet impossible mission

arises to portray

with unsightly turgid prose

and cons of situation,

the juvenile elements of harried style

swiftly tailored, I hate to overplay

odoriferous subject matter

nsync with constipation

since laxative delineates,

expedites, facilitates,... née

posits heavy load emanating out rectum

quite amazing what

smelly waste exits out me

necessitating able linkedin line

O Captain! My Captain!

I signal emergency mayday

posterior end, a dime size orifice,

which malfunctioning sphincter muscles

one moost never be lackaday sic cull

though kids and adults

laughed back in the day,

if and/or when Danny Kaye

tactfully poked fun including that girl

at such critical bodily phenomenon

equally important as a jackstay

to keep afloat body electric

accursed with rectum ammunition

auxiliary accouterments interplay

analogously precise as

Swiss made timepiece

said system responsible

to expel bodily toxins

upon which sitting on porcelain throne

one can softly utter hooray

thankful to experience relative pleasure

until one becomes feeble minded,

whereat sixty plus shades of gray

matter allows, enables, and

provides enjoyably foray

into the bathroom, which entranceway

hoop fully not barred nor off limits

cuz that primitive

urge one best not delay

lest one requires lower

gastrointestinal intervention

especially if blocked up

fecal matter which turns to clay

unless of course one doth

cause damage and betray

respect toward well

oiled human machine

exercising and eating healthy

avoiding backside skeleton musculature issues,

yes... I reckon during twilight years

control over bowels doth slip away.

*The Essence Of A Corkerasp.

(which fictitious object contrived

by my then twenty plus year old

third year college student,

(who will turn twenty eight

on December twenty second),,

but SHE would never admit

to birthing such an offal bit of drek.

The essential name arose

from preschool, predicated,

precocious person, and the words....?

Whenever constipation a pain in the ass

just maneuver this lightweight

metal contrivance made of brass

no matter if anybody

considers this action crass

apply corkscrew motion

up the alimentary canal

to remove human waste,

which most likely

will be thick like petrified paste

stuck deep inside

bowels of sphincter muscles

and solidly encased

causing severe cramps

within lower gastrointestinal tract

inducing one to wince nonstop

from being fecal matter packed

and no amount of primal groaning

doth loose this hard fact,

nor does imagery of freed turd

ease formidable anal plight,

no laughing matter

despite how absurd

squeezing does nothing

even applying all inner might,

thus necessary to incorporate

un-natural intervention to un-clog

rectal blockage + uncomfortable bloating

swelling anus the size of a hog

disabling bare derriere

ease to stand let alone jog,

yet tis essential

per extricating what feels

like one swallowed a log,

which could presage demise

of sufferer, whereby epitaph

twill induce impossible

eulogy spoken language

where tongues wag in Prague

every ounce of effort required to bend

over gingerly affixing

plunger end of device

to business of rear end

best accompanied in tandem

with close companion or friend

this dirty deed done

dirt-cheap trick will ideally rend

rock solid excrement to roll and crash

(on par traversing highway

to hell) soundcloud, I

without fail regularly out the tushy send

upon bathroom floor

possibly inducing tsunami

seismic waves less or more,

whereby toilet bowl water will pour

over the sides akin

to white caps near sea shore

without doubt making

gluteus maximus extremely sore.

at Henry Kline Boyer School

a fairly prominent structure,

whose personage exemplifies

a storied history recounted below.

Henry K. Boyer

Early Life

Henry Kline Boyer was born on February 19, 1850, in Evansburg, Montgomery County, Pennsylvania. The youngest of two children to blacksmith Ephraim Boyer and his wife Rebecca Kline, Henry was raised mainly in Montgomery County, with his father at one point even being the official town blacksmith of Evansburg. He attended formal schooling in Montgomery County from a young age, with an aptitude for math and a love for English and history. Boyer later attended Freeland Seminary, which is now known as Ursinus College.

He completed his formal education at only sixteen years of age, and in 1866 became a schoolteacher at the public school in his neighborhood. Kline then moved on to other teaching positions, including ones with a “classical academy” in Philadelphia and a Quaker school in the Byberry neighborhood of the city.

In 1868, he received a grammar school teaching certificate and moved to Camden, New Jersey, to work as the principal of a school there. Boyer did this until 1871, at that time he left his position in Camden to pursue the study of law in Philadelphia at the firm of former United States Attorney General Benjamin H. Brewster. In 1873, at the age of 23, Boyer was admitted to the Bar in Philadelphia County, where he focused on civil cases.

Political Career Begins & Flourishes

Starting out as a lawyer, Boyer took up permanent residence in Philadelphia and practiced well through the 1880s, attracting political attention. He was an active member of the Young Republicans of Philadelphia, and “his growing inclination for public affairs led him in the Spring of 1882 to attend a meeting of Republicans … to (choose) delegates for the state convention.” He was announced then as a delegate for the Seventh Ward of Philadelphia. He received a strong showing but lost. In the fall, he then ran for and won his first race, for the Pennsylvania Statehouse. Winning handily, Boyer had gone from a lawyer to a politician.

Henry K. Boyer served as State Representative for the 7th District of Philadelphia County for six terms, both before and after his time as Treasurer. Boyer served from 1883 to 1890, 1893 to 1894, and 1897 to 1898. He became a powerhouse in the State Legislature, with some of his legislative activities involving being a driving force behind the bill that created the Pennsylvania State Board of Health, encouraging citizens to plant trees, and regulating pharmacies. His action on these matters during his first term did not go without notice, as on January 4, 1887, at the age of 37, Boyer was elected as the unanimous choice of the Pennsylvania House Republican Caucus to be the next Speaker of the House. He was elected Speaker again the next term, and for a third non-consecutive time upon his return to the house in 1896 after serving as Treasurer.

As Treasurer

The sitting Speaker of the Pennsylvania House of Representatives, Boyer was elected as Treasurer of Pennsylvania in 1889. The State Republican Convention, which less than 10 years before had denied his bid to be only a delegate to it from Philadelphia, unanimously selected him as their pick for Treasurer. Pennsylvania Senator Boies Penrose introduced him at the convention, with the Philadelphia Times quoting Penrose as saying that he knew of “no other man” for the job.

In his acceptance speech, Boyer said he was a “proud and happy man,” and that the party had “made a correct choice. … I assure you I will endeavor to merit your confidence.” Boyer was elected in what was the largest total majority ever given to a Republican candidate in a political off-year. When the returns were coming in, the Snyder County Tribune reported that “Well, we have got Boyer and are very happy.”

In the role of Treasurer, Boyer authored the extensive Revenue Act of 1891, and he saw to it that schools specifically received substantial funding. However, in 1891, Boyer was locked in a corruption scandal along with Auditor General Thomas McCamant. A Philadelphia politico had been discovered that year as being corrupt, so a sweep across the Commonwealth revealed allegations of corruption…as far as Boyer’s direct role in any corruption, it was written that he was “criminally negligent at best and corrupt at worst.”

The scandal ultimately did not lead to his removal from office after the Senate split on talks to oust him, although Dauphin County prosecutors charged him with the misappropriation of $600,000 in funds. Once again, it never got off the ground, and Boyer retired at the end of his term while immediately making another successful bid to the Pennsylvania House and Speakership.

Later Life & Death

Boyer went back to the House after his term as Treasurer, holding the Speakership once more. The Capitol burned down during his tenure, and Boyer led sessions of the Legislature from places like the nearby federal courthouse and Grace United Methodist Church. He resigned from the House on January 17, 1898, after being appointed as Superintendent of the U.S. Mint in Philadelphia. He retired from the Superintendent position in 1902, and after that, spent the rest of his life in various pursuits.

He was a fan of farming, especially dairy farming, and at one point through his retirement had a 130+-acre dairy farm that he worked painstakingly on. It was reported that at this farm, Boyer remodeled every single farm building, purchased the best farm implements, got everything up to date, and had some of the most fertile soil in Pennsylvania. Besides investing in his dairy farm, he invested in land and other buildings, such as an old hotel, and enjoyed planting as much foliage as possible around his many acres of land, just as he encouraged citizens to do in one of his signature bills as a state representative.

In 1910, he was living as a boarder in Collegeville, Pennsylvania, in 1920 he was living by himself in Lower Providence, Pennsylvania, and in 1930 Boyer was living in Red Hill, Pennsylvania.

Never married, and never having children, Henry K. Boyer died at the age of 83, days shy of his 84th birthday, on February 14, 1934, in Red Hill, Pennsylvania. He was buried at Chelten Hills Cemetery. The York Dispatch eulogized him as “one of the well[-]known figures of a past generation in politics,” and the Philadelphia Inquirer highlighted him as “an outstanding figure in Pennsylvania politics in the last quarter of the 19th century.”

His place of residence

currently repurposed into to Play & Learn,

formerly Boyer School, 35 Evansburg Road

as iterated above aforementioned building

constituted quaint grade school

(one classroom per grade),

wherein I still remember

The golden-rod is yellow;

the first line of a poem

titled September by Helen Hunt Jackson

memory of mine jogged,

when remembrance of things past

pertaining to my boyhood

at about eight (almost nine) years old

strongly instructed to memorize

and be able, eager, ready and willing

to recite said poem

(other classmates as well needed

to abide by assignment or else...)

despite being a diminutive lad

with a pronounced nasal sound

(courtesy of submucous cleft palate - split uvula)

approximately fifty seven years ago

reprinted here with permission of

Your Daily Poem

P. O. Box 14054

Greenville, SC 29611.

September - now follows suit

by

Helen Hunt Jackson

The goldenrod is yellow;

The corn is turning brown;

The trees in apple orchards

With fruit are bending down.

The gentians bluest fringes

Are curling in the sun;

In dusty pods the milkweed

Its hidden silk has spun.

The sedges flaunt their harvest,

In every meadow nook;

And asters by the brookside

Make asters in the brook.

From dewey lanes at morning

the grapes' sweet odors rise;

At noon the roads all flutter

With yellow butterflies.

By all these lovely tokens

September days are here,

With summer's best of weather,

And autumn's best of cheer.

But none of all this beauty

Which floods the earth and air

Is unto me the secret

Which makes September fair.

'T is a thing which I remember;

To name it thrills me yet:

One day of one September

I never can forget.

Analogous to a foreigner who sees double vision after imbibing excess drink, (cuz the smoker you are the drinker you get), and being a survivor of alcoholics, I too suffer severely discombobulated myopia courtesy third eye blind after cataract in right eye excised, thus subsequently best for me to remove glasses for good until after the cataract in left eye removed on September twelfth two thousand and twenty four, when weaker prescription for glasses will still be necessary to correct for hindsight, shortsightedness, and astigmatism, an eye condition that occurs when the shape of the cornea, lens, or entire eyeball becomes distorted, which condition can cause blurred vision, discomfort, pain, and even blindness, and if left untreated, astigmatism can lead to permanent visual impairment.

Post surgical follow up treatment involves application of Ofloxacin (Polytrim), Ketorolac, and Prednisolone eye drop protocol four times per day.

Exactly four months

from date the following poem I wrote

president number forty seven,

(and her running mate Tim Walz)

will have validated

that the electorate did vote

for democracy in a tense election

pitting and tumpeting Republican candidate

triggering unprecedented spiked incidence

and popularity of anorexia nervosa and bulimia,

driving sought after expert feedback,

and most effective and efficient techniques

boasting vendors selling out

best size faux index finger

ideal to plunge, (albeit gently)

easing regurgitation courtesy swallowing creosote

down the gullet videre licet deep throat

to trigger gastroesophageal reflux

earning sobriquet (just kidding)

of butt heading G.O.A.T.

Just after the stroke of midnight

in the oasis, where soul asylum

witnesses humanity to wax philosophic

rings in two thousand and twenty five,

when the words to Auld Lang Syne

will echo thru the fall of the house of usher

everlasting peace on earth and good will

toward all (wo)men

immediately punctuating impossible mission

to sanction the French motto

"liberté, égalité, and fraternité"

courtesy one or more

silencer spending bullets

signalling the sound of gunshots

(whew) thankfully sanctifying

Homo sapiens to exercise

their leftist right to bear arms

nearly as strong a yen

being fruitful and multiplying

despite bajillion people

comprising human league

and despite prevalence of violence

unbeknownst and oblivious

to flesh begotten courtesy

seeds of life and white lily

spurring squeals of delight

courtesy freshly minted parents

for the first or umpteenth time

answering the call of the wild

while breaking out in karaoke

the song titled -

Good Morning Starshine,

especially remembering

most poignant experiences

hashtagged, jumpstarted,

and tweeted courtesy

remaining lines issuring forth constitute

the most pregnant events

in my life follows suit.

Hands down fifty four, the most dramatic change I ever needed to make awoke from helping beget the first offspring. An internal paradigm shift reshuffled priorities such that the helpless newborn necessitated immediate attention.

Whatever task held my attention at a given time; the cry of said progeny triggered and quickly trained an obligation to become a first responder of sorts.

Yes, I readily admit that at first blush selflessness grudgingly accepted, but quickly an avid enthusiasm became manifest.

Matter of fact (and much to the surprise to this chap who never served as care taker for infants, nor young children), an instinctual natural protection arose concomitantly with attention, affection, and adoration as the ensuing years tending (to thine eldest daughter and approximately twenty six plus months later another heiress begat), this role of fatherhood entranced, galvanized, and inspired me toward increased selflessness.

The profound raw emotional impact shook my entire corporeal being to experience supreme tenderness, which set me to step up affinity to write poetry seemed a natural modus operandi de jure, which sample seems apropos to share at this juncture.

December 22nd 1996 bundle of edenic joy

twenty seven plus years ago

cap’n Matthew Scott Harris

twittered n burst with ahoy

on account of thine first borne –

unbeknownst to us then if a girl or boy

so an assortment of gender appropriate names –

some brazen others coy

filled pages of our journals videre licet

newly minted parent’s endless employ

though of Semitic ancestry choices

per namesake reflected more ova goy,

which genealogy less significant

than precious progeny healthily fused

vis a vis via twenty-six chromosomes

that did miraculously alloy

into a healthy genetically

whipped miracle – crème of the crop

that only imaginary dragons

reigning over a vampire weeknd

with fiery red hot chili peppered lyrics could drop,

whereby flute tour ring notes

induce crowdsource to hip hop

calisthenics that emulate

swishing NIKE brush strokes of a mop,

which if attempted by myself,

would witness one sic pop

so, he stonily sticks with ranks,

videre licet his literate

ass spur ray shun to confess

those thermostatic and

temperature controlled emotions more or less

extolling occasions that held poignancy,

though as a first time father

my state of managing a newborn

felt chaotic and a sorry mess

though words resonated less with Eden,

she most likely happened

to be oblivious asper YES

mine hand felt hog tied,

yet over ensuing years –

the integration of off Rites aiding spring

did indelibly impress

an invaluable psychic ring,

whereby initial awkward role

no longer on par as a foster child

for her existence,

(albeit demanding at times –

synonymous with any other

infantile pang), thine essence

acquired an acute attentiveness

to her basic needs and wants

likened to pay obeisance

per a special offering,

whose absence as a grown woman

make mine heart grow fond

(and psych doth twinge with nostalgia) asper

those long days journey into night, yet mandatory

to let go of this biological off shoot

part of me in league

to the babyhood pampering she required

cuz, now perhaps

in the near future happiness sprung

from within herself she will bring

now, a mixed bag of emotions wrestle and roil

inside her corporeal being,

I praise and prize accomplishments

spurred by natural borne desires

to become independent

rather than shutter herself up

as exemplified by das papa,

who still writhes, seethes, and orates

many forfeited explorations

of natural self discovery thwarted

renting my psyche asunder

with lightning mailer daemons

still on the prowl and trawling like internet trolls

essentially explaining present years of emotional,

financial, interpersonal and social toil

repercussions forever unfairly

induced upon the darling lass

pronounced upon this then star student,

who suffered sheer agony

when asked by classmates,

when she attended public school

within Lower Merion district

the vocations of me,

an unemployed aging

haired pencil neck geek

or “mother Abby”

which vicarious torture inflict means

to destroy myself,

cuz of this utter embarrassment, misery,

writhing really vociferously

within genetic blend, whose love

not asked for nor sought unequivocally.

DESPITE MY ACTIONS, BEHAVIORS, CHILDISH FOOLISHNES, I WOULD SOONER HARM MYSELF THAN DO ANY FURTHER INJUSTICE TO YE – ME FIRST BORN BABY!

The Idler Wheel Is Wiser than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More than Ropes Will Ever Do. Though coined by Fiona Apple (whose courtesy, fidelity, and integrity this papa pays homage – unbeknownst to said musician), a transformation inadvertently shook awoke compassion made inaccessible from being figuratively hermetically (psychologically) sealed against experiencing the gamut of emotions from childhood’s end until…well…the advent of parenthood.

I resume the thread bare theme tete a tete trajectory bending toward insight, which subsequent introspection to regale thee kith and kin found yours truly agonizingly aware how he impacted upon his then octogenarian widower father and (obviously) still long deceased mother.

Consonant with this vow welled inducement to place the welfare of mine older then youngest heiress before personal ambitions, a rousing revelation tore thru thee now sixty odd shades of gray matter.

An “ah ha” moment gouged deep into the bowels of thine being upon realizing the impact of mine prepubescent, adolescent and thence post-pubescent upon the body, mind and spirit of me father and mother when at a loss to rescue thine self from the maws of maelstroms muckraking the existence of their sole son.

Forgiveness toward self proffered despite the frightful scare the stalwart birth parents endured. Even at the moment of this peroration, this now middle aged man still clueless per the wherefores and why’s, a self destructive mission gripped (as if possessed) to feed the daily beast of Anorexia Nervosa.

Though still reeling from the after shocks and emotional repercussions, the dog send of nine pharmaceutical prescription medications delivers cerebral buoyancy allowing, enabling and providing a lightness of being.

E’er since conception of either prized progeny (more precious that fine spun gold), birth and maturation of both delightful darling daughters, a permanent potent permutation took place within the realm of living strong.

Any call to daddy duty dashed to in double time.

Despite the capacity, manageability, and sustainability for mostly independent heiress, their emotional, mental and physical succor for (atta girl commendable feedback) still sought, and willingly given.

Oft times, a purposelessness finds this cogent, fervent and also indigent (best left for another theme) mister at a loss to keep himself occupied.

This predilection predicated on the freedom peculiarly wrests upon paternal diminution. Now released from once appeared to be an eternal, inescapable, and mercurial “parent trap” suddenly provides good n plenti of capitalone leisure hours to tap into preserved poignant past.

Avast array of trials and tribulations transpired tracking embryonic in utero nascent recollection until tensions eased from this vantage point, whence no projection hinted at thy most prized and treasured vibrant little women, which conclusion begs (as equitable, fair and glorious) to include an ode regaling the younger royal heiress.

Thee apple each of mine (myopic) brown eye,

now twenty five plus year old

ova grown seed partly begot ba this guy

worth more to me than fine spun gold – no lie,

now itches to bend

Oregon nickleback generating fate

to acquire autonomy well nigh,

she matriculated at

Redmond Proficiency Academy and didst up ply

her innate strengths to cultivate a hold

for her called field n rye

ought she be told to maximize

and ride elevator exiting

at floor that fits life – why

embarkation of progeny

most difficult from this popping giver

yet mightiest gift

to proffer upon daughter

from dada who doth dill liver,

I can't x spleen, yet thine psyche doth quiver

thus twas mine own task

to bequeath this priceless off spring

albeit temporarily – cuz Shana

wants to answer that ring

tone of maturation,

an innocent, lovely lass purring

far greater than Purina cat chow –

yes, eventually to find a king

of hearts, now hankering

to do spade work per offering

thru avidity, comity, energy,

generosity, integrity…everything

one could ask for –

cuz Shari Harris – Dunning

ma beloved younger sister

didst exude salient features,

whose aura, charisma, dogma,

harmonica, patina persona

would bring out positive elements

of swiftly tailored Harris styled progeny aching

for womanhood of Shayna Punim (Yiddish)

to break loose

from moorings tied amidst

724 railroad avenue moose

lee a way station,

yet this father missess thee noose

sense that said daughter displayed –

and felt shellshocked, when juiced

yesterday, I held her in a car seat

then makeshift papoose

boot how like greased lightning,

she clamored to leave roost.