

Risqué Biz n Ass For early 19th February 2025
To 13.3.12.1.18.9.3.5
Forsooth kindling erogenous zones
with receptive tinder loving woman.
For kindling erogenous zones
with receptive woman.
I updated the title
but body of erotica
originally written almost eight years ago
in an attempt
to whet appetite
of young pretty thang in vain
for orgasmic consummation and insemination.
This culinary erudite humble
verboten pie eating older mwm
then in sore need and want of coital kool aid
with no intent to rile nor up braid
certainly not prompt ye
to call for a military enfilade,
nor cause nerves to get frayed
with a spatter o hair that goot grayed
this ordinary horny guy
needed to get laid
so doth axe if ja offer yourself asthma own
personal teat till lay ting milk maid,
who hopefully desires bareback intercourse
re: legal tender sub mini mull current see
that courses thru as way to get paid
wonders if ye might befriend me
despite this email being non spayed
nar doused with
double duty extra strong tie raid
no matter no pictures,
this best western Philadelphian kin trade.
Via lobbing a ripple lye tummy,
an America online dot com screen name
Letter Number Code (A1Z26) A=1, B=2, C=3...
prefaced with 4.21.25.5.5.18.93,
which random letters to mum mind juiced came
now with ma lil pistol pa king heat,
ah wanna fire semen after I take aim.
So...yes without doubt
lack of sexual appeasement,
which does mostly ail,
and my marital might pose as an obstacle,
I fear could send a roar
out the mouth of the wife
a string of expletives without fail.
How bout virtual verboten fruit
ya know that carnal loot
if aint no interest the point moot
and tell me (after I try to make a snatch)
maybe behind lavatory stall
to politely scram and scoot
while exiting I hear
alimentary sounds resembling ass toot.
Butta...if game for to consort
with me skin flute or bugle
from this guy who likes to google
twould just love to feast his eyes and ogle
I do LIKE RIGHT NOW crave
no matter ye might doubt
this poetic rant and rave as sheer lunacy
to indulge sexual factory juices
and use stubby stick to stave
off that pent up testosterone urge
kind of like myself as an erotic magician
using his special wand to wave.
This pent up urge to fondle
one or both wonderful womanly teat
found a quixotic whim to post a classified
imagining the outcome
of such of said delectable moving feat,
but fearing the odds
twould be stacked way to high to beat.
Yet if more than praise
for citing me poetic talent doth well
more libidinal longings,
this humble not so long fellow could tell
and just maybe coax ye
to bear thine chest for e'en just a spell
forsooth these to behold
an apt comparison to a flesh born
bare naked lady portrayal
of mammary gland as quasi mountains
tipped with nipples
and that balm in the cleavage
of a wondrous dell.
So...any suggestions thus far
whereby we can fondle, kiss and taste
the special elixirs -
ooh how this tongue
twould crave
to nibble upon the aureole
and suckle to drawn out milky paste,
thence descending to the area
just a tad lower than thy waste
meaning the clitoris awash
with for his -- mine -- oral meal to baste.
I would like to try by crook
using prick as special angle of the dangle hook
to exhaust ideas to let me get a close up look
at each and every pubic covered cranny
that moist warm nook
and taste the sweet nectar
my mouth already salivates
as my very late paternal grandfather mark berg
would comment yum zuck.
This sex starved older married chap
would just luv for you to hold his little
flaccid diminutive cock in one or t'other hand
(preferably judging not me somewhat
inn substantial nada grand
especially compared n contrasted
with horse size penis,
my male gland disease free,
healthy, organic n swarthy brand)
gently favors caresses and Sophia L. Hoar N.
yar welcome to kiss limp biscuit
until penis begins to expand
veins bulging, crackling
popping and snapping
ready to spew forth
after seminal contraband
sticky cum in clitoral orifice will land.
The usual routine
twill most likely find me fantasizing
while lying in bed
gets me feisty with celibate life I dread
wonders if little shaft
and smallish helmet head
will ever go sliding and slipping
like on a well lubricated sled
and experience once again
when genital with pussy hues to wed.
Matthew Scott can hard lee await
to let each of us master bate
the other per climax to create
as first of many a date
and an ongoing joyful fate
p'raps as friends, lovers or e'en juiced
a temporary sexual mate.
If ya wanna romp rsvp moi
which intercourse would give me joy
to drop me drawers and lay anchor ahoy
perhaps with a phone number for this goy,
who enjoys foreplay and playing being faux coy
no matter this mortal happens
to be a sixty six year young looking boy.
Gotcha! Once respectable haute cuisine thief Sue She...,
a septuagenarian renown for his trademark prank
to steal himself into a neighboring house,
and prepare an elaborate meal
unsuspectedly nabbed gorging
(ala man versus food
Adam Montgomery Richman fame
Brooklyn, New York boy)
at an undisclosed location.
When asked why
he left figurative bread crumbs
to the very doorstep of his demise
with a mouth full of food he replied
inarticulately sounding muffled,
with indistinct words
a lot of slurring
and sometimes even gurgling noises.
Always on the lookout
for new breakout theatrical talent
similar to scouts who work
across the United States,
Canada, and Puerto Rico
hunting for outstanding
gifted potential sports marvels/protegies
recruiters from various and sundry acting guilds
globe trot and zero in
on a person whose behavior
draws newsworthy attention
(perhaps to distract the public at large
to the demise of democracy
not just in American,
but a global lurge politically rightward)
presents innovative approaches to attain an objective
catches the eye of one practiced
pinpointing a money magnet.
The media drama linkedin to act of stealth
(though an inconvenience
for unsuspecting victims)
and hidden bona fides
promising positive pursuit
with proper guidance and discipline
respective negligent and criminal intruder
holds the promise
to make hand over fist moolah,
but initially said raw
(green around the gills)
unpracticed mischief maker
will be obliged to compensate
all the places and people he burgled
after he makes a name for himself,
which sudden instance
being shot to fame
does trigger copy cats,
which emulators of the original impractical joker
lack that spunky je nais sais quois,
(the only French phrase known to me)
extemporaneity, spontaneity, notoriety,
and last but not least piety
toward buttressing diversity, equality
and inclusion, thus as an
unspoken/written rule,
these innocuous dressed head hunters
of source material must not be Russian
when they Chekov
favorable qualities in a candidate
of no particular age, breed, creed,
dogma, ethnicity, gender affiliation,
nationality, physique,
race, religion, et cetera.
Lemme include you in on a little secret
(don't you telling nobody),
that yours truly (me)
happens to be sitting
within a nondescript apartment
in a little town that time forgot
and the years could not improve;
one time like when I posted to Facebook,
an unexpected countless
number of young gorgeous female respondents
(exhibited an electronic like
and untrammeled love
toward many former zany
home pages of mine
and other sundry postings –
and offered marriage sight unseen),
and by dint of instantaneously
brought down Meta -
the mysterious explanation
being overloaded three ringed circuits,
whereat Mark Zuckerberg (of all people)
requested all expenses paid trip
to be held within
the outer limits of the twilight zone -
he would fly a private jet,
where dark shadows
evoke the edge of night scenario,
a contrived atmosphere
to lend an opportunity
for each of us to portray
our favor character dramatis personae,
which stunning portrayal
of xyz - more convincing
than the original actor himself
simultaneously launched multiple opportunities
essentially catapulting one former
long haired pencil necked geek
while idling away time engaged
in my favorite pastime re:fabricating
and additionally to reminisce
about those days being a bachelor
Norwegian farmer
during his emerging adulthood,
which spanned the last
thirty plus years of mein kampf.
Dominatrix wanted for Illicit virtual shenanigans...
courtesy Facebook kindles being on cloud nine
After receiving friend request invitation
courtesy femme fatale,
an immediate and instantaneous
invisible chemical romance transpires
within the body, mind, and spirit of mein,
a boyish, coy, erudite married sexagenarian
to submissively surrender himself
as a willing subject awaiting
abduction at cunt point,
and breast easy while
role playing "slave" and "master"
witnesses yours truly
binding and pledging
allegiance into thralldom.
In reality, I mimic
mild mannered modesty of Clark Kent,
each of us, whose aura, dogma,
enigma, karma and persona, et cetera
rather (rat a tat tat)
humdrum demeanor mellow fellow
long in the tooth, though I wear dentures -
thank you periodontal disease
diagnosed when less than thirty
racked up orbitz around sun,
or the half life of Matthew Scott Harris,
who experienced significant oral agony
throughout his threescore and six years
courtesy donning braces
(on two separate occasions) ,
getting healthy and local
and wisdom teeth extracted
due to overcrowding, and last
but not least maxillary osteotomy.
Upon first blush,
a veritable stranger
(hypothetically say an attractive fecund woman
of no particular age, creed, ethnicity,
gender affiliation, intelligence,
nationality, race, religion, et cetera)
would never in a million years guess
writer of these words to entertain
such, what some conservative
trumpeting republican might hashtag
as aberrant deviant sexual behavior -
and truth be told mien
strait laced heterosexual,
Norwegian bachelor farmer habitués -
especially behind closed doors of the boudoir
never incorporated anything outrageous,
but on an instantaneous whim
just came upon such out of character antics.
As a last resort,
I would settle for a nice Jewish orthodox girl,
who goes to synagogue,
likes to play board games,
take long walks along a short pier,
converse about climatological,
ideological, theological, et cetera questions
and generally down plays aesthetic appeal
versus emphasizing the intellect,
cuz rarely if ever did boyish good looks
drew the attention of one
extremely introverted, outwardly
socially withdrawn lad, who slunk along
the hallways with head down in an effort
to appear invisible, (and resorted
to anorexia nervosa to cease growing,
which merely stunted development
of body, mind, and spirit,
thus explaining an attempt
to compensate for a "lost" requisite phase
such as experiencing the dating game,
and truth be told, I overcame shyness
after learning about powder milk biscuits,
when a lovely gal named MaryAnn Sage
endured first fumbling intimate encounter
of mine capped with premature ejaculation.
I would embellish more,
but the missus pesters me
to access Tubi web page
since we only own this one MacBook Pro laptop,
but cello phone the next best alternative.
Yours truly always frank and ernest - ha!
Beak cause of being taken under (hawking) wing by the kindness of this U crane relative, I pay written homage to my ability to fend for myself and fly in the face of adversity. Beak cuz yours truly got left abandoned under the shade of a Sequoia Tree when just born, my birth parents never known to me. Though I enearthed some tidbit, that me father as a strapping young high flyer, (that tis the best wren during)... he got quite a reputation Robin the cradle! Though chipper as a Larkspur, the burgeoning females got egged by Hummingbirds! Imagine that!
Pink Flamingos and Pelicans briefly the latter essentially constitute moderate influence within pecking order paradigm social structure, thus helping (I no give a hoot if ye feel perplexed as a little chickadee) to explain erratic flapping motions and diving head first into billions of waterways in search of prey. Also fortunate for this bird brained buddy (me – sorry about goose chase, where ya might just understand us sma... smid ...pidgeon) to be blessed or cursed with spindle shank skinny chicken legs, I would never be caught unawares as a cross dresser donning an itty bitty teensy weensy yellow polka dot bikini.
Heights of Ash and berries (such as those found in Acapulco and/or Baja, California) give me a rush, especially when catching the atmospheric headwinds and soaring like Icarus. Although just a clumsy, fledgling gangly mass of skinny legs and bedraggled feathers, a push from me famous surrogate long foster ring mother worm monger (the superb flier Harriet) found immediate fear when warmly booted from out the nest. Rather than be a bird din, this automatic instinct in the aviary species witnesses little tufts of soft downy pirouetting in a downward spiral when just before making contact with land, the natural reflexive welcome visits.
Fortunate for yours truly that an exceptional ability to escape an untimely close call with terrestrial firmament witnessed an amazing power (e quill to pluribus Unum) to jet far into the stratosphere where eagles soar. Although bequeathed with such exemplary powers to wrench away from the tug of gravity, I downplayed this skill and feigned being brought into this world (in the hands of some unknown personified angel named Dolly Llama), an ordinary set of claws with an atypical noteworthy tail comprising prismatic colors when fanned out. Always one to maintain modesty, the extraordinary ability to display awesome aerial stunts fueled “FAKE” news worthy rumors within all four corners of the globe.
All the major squawk show hosts such as Osprey Winfrey, Morey Egret, Springer Falcon, et cetera scrambled to enlist such feats of lighter than air ballet escapades. Like the taste of fresh fish on salmon enchanted evening, I savored the adulation, yet also felt obliged to provide for the surviving quasi (motto pseudo) parents, no matter that she hen pecked his only male heir to the architectural splendor of his domain. This equates to my incomprehensible Alaskan Bull worm size wordy tweet.
Thankfully, thru the marvels of modern aviary, bioengineering, 3D printing allow, enable, and provide dime a dozen Genetically Modified Organisms, (no matter how disparate vertebrates may appear) such as myself (lil Eagle endearment) originally constituting member of Aves family, but seamlessly rendered from one species into another such as Homo sapiens, despite untold years heard by duckling Trumpeting Swan wannabe such eccentricity, peculiarity, and zany quarks linked into the latter beastly hominids.
Thus now with my scrunched
and bushy furrowed brow
I often ponder the precise circumstances
that any thing to be born
tracing back lineage of self
or arbitrary individual unpredictable as the dow
reckoning a series of events
sustained life similar to sowing seed of corn
ruminating fragile nascent organism
at the mercy of fate flourished and how
taxing me mind how each score
composed for each to toot their own horn
aware that just the slightest off beat
fluke determined from millennia ago or now
that particular organism,
whether one celled entity
or beings that can mourn
the loss of kindred members –
food for thought for able pledge marital vow
like this poet, whose presence,
a mere fluke of circumstances possibly torn
at any point in the distant past rendering
me absent and hence unable to utter wow
at what crap shoot of circumstances
wrought this tick lush loon to be
cognizant of the self and
world wide web or follow threads back in time
albeit not more than a couple generations –
whereby emigrants did flee
from supposed eastern European swath
in general finding thyself to rhyme
for no reason, just as other creatures
great or small occupy themselves with glee
or just groveling along at bare boned
knuckle existence without a dime
less apt to own luxury of how homo sapiens
purportedly evolved from winged mon-key,
whereby harsh ill fate tempt them into life of crime
when perhaps riches with kingly
figures loomed large in their family tree
branching off way back when back in the day
glorious personalities populated genealogy to boot
twisting a tortured destiny
somewhere along the way
setting stage for rags when once
august ancestry buried in loot
yet tis quite frivolous to bemoan
present woes or even pray
to win lottery turning attention
how like our ancestral gingko or newt
dwelling in that rich primordial egg
drop soup wantonly in massive bay
inexorably transformed (by dint of
dice throw), per flora to take root
as well fauna to mutate into species
and genus on land to assay
giving rise to variety to an assortment
of animals and plants
and this one speck of flotsam in particular
owns a passion for contra dance
whereby others – from massive beasts
to self taught amazing ants
scurry hither and yon to and fro perhaps
also contemplating genetic grants
to be alive for a mere blink of an eye
all due (in my view) to chance.
Ever since synthetically streamlined into most domitable livingsocial entity, I suddenly gushed effusively with Plover the moon enthusiasm to join the rank and file of elite kingdom, where only a select few entitled to enjoy a royal flush, anybody else discarded from joker, jack, queen or untenable occupants ensconced in voices audible to hush puppy - actually a surveillance device camouflaged green, an ace deux machina programmed to scout the plush premises, and notify secret service if intruder incognito seen though rarely top secret discussions gush forth, but merely small talk like when dudes were a teen and words of encouragement, viz major movement to push local economy chugging along spewing out greenbacks, whereby population content to swallow pride or mush shell in out house special herb to sustain political machine and also excellent fertilizer per promoting Georgian bush.
Ah...how empowering to decree life and/or death sentence upon the head, shoulders, knees or toes of divergent/ similar creatures large or small.
Nothing more exciting, loving, thrilling... gleaning avast nonverbal writhing emotion of desperation than espying helpless being awaiting sought commuted modified sentence, or on a whim arbitrarily deciding death be not proud to some superfluous animal.
No way to dodge fiat decreeing death sentence even for some beau peeping rambling man, who felt unready to kick the can? on account of violating ban against abominable illegal mandate with no way to commute death sentence for the simple act of voicing opinion against exist of heavenly gate of hellish underworld despite religious opiate decreeing penance spurious pedagogical poetic rant not the ravings of some half mad lunatic carefully plotted recitation that springs from combined teachings of kant and jolly old saint nick charges trumped up per this average don purportedly blaspheming Judeo-Christian paradigm upending
blind faith (no more) equated with hill of beans upon, which dogma erected epitomized by complex edifices via grime sweat and tears from slave labor where usurpation of freedom won until outspoken spokespersons risked life and limb to invalidate the existence of supreme deity who created life, whether for extra credit or perhaps on a whim Adam from whose rib cage without anesthesia but razor sharp knife sported Eve with a physique quite pleasing and trim, but rather than get lost in the Garden Of Eden myth (in mine crafted mind)final seconds of existence tick away without intent to recant statements solely acceptable to b’ni brith prompting last words of mine as oy vey with no regrets - deeming heart of religion flimsy as pith thing in the wind or house of cards vulnerable to blow away.
Well...what goes around comes around, and suddenly paranoia (ah know can destroy ya), this unpleasant foreboding (triggering thoughts of suicidal ideation) unsettle psyche of yours truly, yet no escapingblack crows and other carrion circling overhead with absolute zero chance one experiment gone awry get extricate thyself caught within crosshairs of nib bullying keratin enriched pincer like appurtenances, therefore human look alike appears disheveled, bumming hobo. This tramp (which caricature familiarly epitomized in countless chaplinesque productions, dickensian tales, oil paintings some from artistic hands of great masters, and others anonymous exquisite painters, et cetera)
remembers practically nothing of me nine-month stay in utero birth, childhood nor early adulthood.
My amorphous gauzy, hazy fractal memories solely comprise fractured, diet of worms, seedy fragmented and splintered collection of miserable memories, which characterize living a hellacious hand to mouth hard scrapple existence. Past wispy vestiges of ignorance (veiled plain as day wretchedness), and now present woebegone existence seems a worse fate than death. The overpowering urge to survive and summon up one barely audible L'chaim utterance against the depredations of the grim reaper only found nothing but defeat. That daily dismal grinding away of last shreds of a purpose driven life fending off real and imagined threats sought salvation in a vividly encased within preserve of mine imagination an existence awash with ample trappings of comfort.
Yours truly dug deep with bony strength in tandem with fantasy notions know king around in figurative heady tub bog gin noggin like cranial carapace to muster every ounce of strength in an effort to escape chronic confrontation with endless streak of bleakness. Although cursed with brutish, nasty nefarious fate as a measly looking human varmint, this grimy, grungy, rangy, et cetera looking besotted being clung with all the might within his five foot ten inch or so tall and one hundred and forty five pound body to transcend sigh as rust twerking terrestrial travesty that tweeted n tweaked laugh-in fickle finger of fate in my favor. I tapped into atavistic survival skills summoned willpower to stay alive drinking butter bear while heavy cross of dirty poor poverty borne. No matter a hard-core skeptic at heart, this cynic plaintively called for divine intervention to help this human piece of flotsam and jetsam to cope - living like doleful junkyard dog. In essence, this abandoned, ignored and shunned vagrant frequently raged against the Deus ex machine found figurative amidst literal unlovely bones
slim pick kens with demons that tormented psyche. While traipsing along litter strewn condemned boulevard of broken dreams complex edifice erected courtesy of fluffed feathered faculty, torn and well-worn shoe kicked a couple of long discarded items. These weather beaten hands reflexively bent to retrieve accouterments. One comprised colorful jagged shard, in a previous lifetime housed cheap
fermented liquor. Nothing but crud filled remnant of dog gone booze hounds’ favorite drink.
A feeble attempt to engross, enlighten, entertain... incorporating...started out with lofty intention, but exuberance with expansive (wingtip to nocked wingtip), now finds initial effort spiraled down into bajillion bit of grammatical fragmentation. analogous asper an arrow went thru my heart. Without question haphazard discordant sentences comprise nothing except nest of figurative sticks, grass, and leaves, while veritably sun dried tree branches, mud, stones, and even saliva.
Obvious discombobulation evinces despair. Despite countless factorial permutations and combinations, this cyber surfer availed faux pas and two alms seeking succor, asper Somerset Maugham Mom mee whiz sic cure human bondage, boot metastatic carcinoma snatched such balms, when tethered in utero umbilical connection, etched bromide, which hankering calms embryonic sensation this corporeal being lacks constantly subjected to exams from the school of hard knocks which I bewail set back and gloms mine aim to revel in blissful contentment. Circumstances dictate cursing this asinine chap tubby haunted by veritable elfin grotto dwelling operatic phantoms hovering over sweet clover, which dials a mirage yes...Iris sieve blurbs from gals and guys that span the World Wide Web, and exude premature ejaculatory ecstasy, puzzled if aye trod a totally tubular tedious trek along the boulevard of broken dreams.
Happenstance oft finds thyself to flail amidst difficulty to maximize optimal opportunities searching for Holy Grail, or whatever constitutes such lofty personal objective, perchance being hale and hearty of body, mind and spirit spurs the furies of fate tut test this primate while he aims to gallop with mighty industrial vim and vigor leaving a virtual soundcloud of dust, though mindfulness helps to pass go, and chance avoid jail time, then maybe monopolized feedback offered to this toothless gumption dreamily slurping quasi-vegetarian enjoying all poetry stone soup, yet also subsisting on supplementary vitamin packed glue tin free fruity tall tales for a male then forty years shy sans bing a centenarian, which span of life best cut short with a rusty nail (possibly nine inches) hammered into faux coffin, cuz this imp doth turn pale at prospect to fill up a space of land best utilized by Yardbirds - such as quailing Mongoose, or Ibis (though owl admit, aye ne'er saw one), where cremated ashes sail across some verdant plain under cerulean skies putting to rest every travail, which thoughts of dem eyes spells relief since pennilessness the main impetus explaining this rambling spiel warp and woof ova gauzy veil imperceptibly looms closer upon turrets of my digital sea faring gunwale, and thus desperation finds pleading for salvation, which adulations (as promising word smith wannabe) most likely an outrageous pipe dream.
Hmm... mebbe I best end this pen (go win into imp pond durable awk ward frivolity), and best coon sitter being a Chimney Sweep.
Turning the maxim familiarity breeds contempt on it’s head...
not just in time for Valentine's Day
but the remaining days of our lives
as the world turns
on all our children
the young and restless
now grown to womanhood
After being married
for nearly three and a half score years,
(our eldest daughter,
will celebrate her twenty ninth birthday
December 22, 2025,
hence you dear reader do the basic math),
I must admit a dynamic between me
and the missus, a gal who ofttimes claims
without a shadow of a doubt,
when she first set eyes upon yours truly -
a veritable stranger to her,
whose lips of mine
she hankered to plant a smooch,
I would have gladly welcomed
an unexpected pleasant kiss met,
(this then handsome late twenty/early
thirty something singular male
deeply engrossed with his nose in a book
while sitting on the steps
outside of Summit Presbyterian Church
located at 6757 Greene Street,
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania 19119),
knew now confessed courtesy female intuition
that instant karma
would foretell wedding bells
(scaring the bejesus out of me
at the prospect of spending
living years with spunky future bride )
despite countless ugly falling out scenarios,
especially sparked red hot poker rage,
when I adamantly blurted out
an ambition to date other women
canoodling with fecund enthralling gamines
just the mere thought of intercourse
drove pepe le pew into auto erotic mode
flights of fancy, which activated
an immediate and instantaneous erection,
(albeit puny poor excuse for a pulsating prick),
automatically triggering libidinal urge
seething with hormonal secretion),
and subsequent premature ejaculation
said utterances of mine
to play the field of whet dreams
witnessed explosive verbal altercations
threatening violent outcome,
but who came to the rescue,
but none other than one
hulking hero named Frank Glass,
(he moved pianos for a living,
which explained outsize Popeye arm muscles),
he unwittingly served as a guiding light
keeping at bay dark shadows
creeping closer from the edge of night
intervened and smothered
potential Jerry Springer drama,
whereat the four foot eleven inch woman,
would still not accept "no" as an answer
no matter angry laced expletives
hurled like rocket propelled grenades
out the mouth of one ordinarily docile dude
undoubtedly kindled atrocious, contentious,
ferocious, jocoserious, and odious outbursts
heard all the way clear across to Compton
even thugs from the Crips and Bloods
took pause between their turf battles
to admire pugilistic suckerpunches
charging the air supply with crackling electricity.
Between stints of contra dancing
we exchanged glaring looks that could kill,
and afterward while walking
on opposite sides of the street
trudging to our respective vehicles
simultaneously exchanging nasty black barbs
lobbed off our respective tongues
each against the other
with heightened vindictiveness
cutting down to size
the person eventually
grudgingly accepted as my girlfriend
introduced and accepted with tepid response
from members of the Harris family,
likewise future groom
received icy cold unwelcome reception from
Zison patriarch and matriarch,
nevertheless in fits and starts
companionability fostered unspoken detente
eventually encouraging affectionate rapport
flavoring more hospitable tête-à-tête
slowly but surely inducing
overt unbridled yearning
(analogous blinding concupiscence)
tripped love making wire,
whereat most every opportunity
found us consorting,
ginning healthy interactions
allowing, enabling, and providing
a natural segue bedding down together day or night,
whether at 324 Level Road
or 1148 Greentree Lane
living together feigning wedded bliss
absent the minor issue of birth control,
unbeknownst to us earning kudos
from The Roman Catholic church,
which forbids contraceptive use
because it represents a sin against nature,
and premarital sex as well,
thus upon discovering visa vis
blithely engaging in unprotected sex
lo and behold bitta bing bitta bang
begetting the future mother
of our eldest offspring
unwittingly helped definitive decision
to be made and marriage invitations
got made and handed out
to a select small number of people
exchanging holy matrimony vows
courtesy justice of the peace Henry J. Schireson,
who officiated legal proceedings
a Pennsylvania magisterial district judge
for Montgomery County Magisterial District,
which low key event
occurred July twenty fifth nineteen ninety six.
Diagnosed with NON contagious, yet incurable case of logorrhea...,
yielded following resultant fiction,
which arbitrarily selected thread
first popped into my head
considered one among many possible
near infinite concocted scenarios
arose up, thus continue at your own risk
only entertainment ye need dread.
When just a ruthless babe at me mother's breast
already talking fluently and creating
one after another prolific
literary pièce de résistance
superbly peppered with eloquent, magnificent,
and significant turns of phrases,
not surprisingly needless
to say (or type) excessive
and uncontrollable talking,
often seen in individuals
experiencing psychomotor agitation
and visual hallucinations
severely disrupted with being nursed
more than a few months courtesy
when my twenty four year old mom,
whose milk (holy cow -
she uddered) and air supply exhausted
inexplicably and simultaneously dried up anyway
and her breasts
became shriveled like that of a crone,
(the above half dozen statements predicated on fact),
thus wet nurses brought in
from all four corners of the globe
with near identical
repeated outcomes prevailed videre licet,
whereby every buxom gal
(succumbed to mysterious malady)
no matter previously
rigorously, intensely screened
and declared fit as a fiddle
and strong as a brick Scheißhaus
met an identical demise as dear old mutter
unexpectedly collapsed in a heap
punctuated by disequilibrium
linkedin to an error message
found in open source coding
of their operating system
compromising respective body electric,
which signal effects
one need be mindful of
somehow attributed
to unfettered loquacity
of mine include exhaustion
on unsuspecting listeners or readers
frequently inducing immediate
and non stop yawning,
and worse case scenario
witnesses - said innocent recipient(s)
subjected to vocalizations
and/or writings of Matthew Scott Harris
even for the briefest moment of time
and naturally the impact
directly proportional to proximity to me,
thus should a series
of unfortunate find thee
in my company - watch out,
you better not cry,
better not pout,
I'm telling you why:
Perkiomen Valley poet is comin' to town
cuz such close contact
people known to perish from this earth
in no uncertain terms
how, when, where or why,
though president Donald Trump
intends to make unclassified
once top secret information.
While both parents
(actually they got classed
as child prodigies and satisfactorily)
earned requisite credits to graduate,
with honors of course across dual majors,
plus acquired doctorate degrees to boot
from Cooper Union College
for the Advancement of Science and Art
located at 30 Cooper Square
in New York, NY 10003
in the East Village of Manhattan,
close to Washington Square Park
and Greenwich Village
Despite years of deep Freudian analysis,
the pathologically excessive
(and often incoherent)
talking or writing only worsened
until the present moment
February thirteenth
two thousand and twenty four
of this free verse poetic assay
(as fingers blithely did sashay
across the qwerty keyboard)
emphatic issuance
of uber deadly oral ejaculations
and/or transmitting electronic gobbledygook
put the missus in comatose state,
where I can hear her snoring.
Anglophone aficionado exudes infatuation with English language
obvious to any person who peruses one or more attempts of mine at crafting freestyle modus operandi to express idea, sentiment or thought experience courtesy me, an educated, intelligent, modest, quiet-natured, unpretentious, and yawping wordsmith, whose main ambition to write constitutes futile dogged endeavor to bring good things to light - figuratively.
Non averse to me
(chilling as an outsize ego freezer)
profusely perspiring
and heavily panting
experiencing one after another
stuff whet dreams are made
frolicking in autumn mist
envisioning breath
emanate out snout
Puff the Magic Dragon
(think Maxfield Parrish painting)
while skirt chasing
and playfully tackling,
a gamesome gamine with verve
mercilessly coquettish ingenue
"precociously seductive"
overgrown Lolita wannabe.
Solitude and introvertedness
mebbe made more manifest destiny
courtesy severe nasal notable twang
(otherwise known as split uvula)
yours truly wittingly drew taunts
and unutterable pang
to escape being bullied as scapegoat
entering magical world
of mine imagination
fostered learning about
all creatures great and small
by age appropriate books.
Logophile lusts ever stronger after
twenty six letter combinations
(analogously surrendering to mistress)
that yield an estimated 171,146 words
count them yourself if you doubt me
currently in use in the English language;
according to the Oxford English Dictionary,
an additional 47,156 obsolete words exist.
I luxuriate engrossed
with choice reading material
and out of desperation
to slake insatiable thirst
(to discern syllabification)
yours truly doth read aloud
intently hearing cadence
of vowels and consonants.
Up until I entered six grade
(at Henry Kline elementary -
a one classroom per grade - school)
classmates bullied, derided,
and feigned to hammer -
jabbing leering, nasty
pimping ragout as a rule
which boyhood self of mine
availed a perfect bullseye target
with combination of diminutiveness,
being painfully quiet,
essentially remaining mum the entire day
except when called upon to answer question
thence utterance emanating between lips
produced and emitted
a strong nasal sound to boot
grist for the mill
sans malice meted, mimicked,
and mocked mashup
of mine warped congestion
ah, twas only by a fluke conversation,
whence a speech pathologist
informed my parents about
the Lancaster Cleft Palate clinic,
where oral an examination
revealed minor birth defect
identified as a submucous cleft palate,
"bifid uvula" - meaning the uvula
forked or split into two parts;
it's often considered the mildest form
of a cleft palate,
which explained the severe pinched twang
somewhat mitigated by wearing
a removable prosthetic
fashioned by Prosthodontist
Dr. Mohammad Mazaheri MSC, DDS
fastened with clasps to upper teeth
whereby a makeshift miniature
plastic protuberance closed the gap
so air would be prevented
passing thru my button nose
and thus gentle and soft as a shutterfly
shunted air out thee oral opening
though congenital defect disallowed
returning merchandise back to sender
nor could blame be affixed
at either father nor mother
who both harbored the genetic mutation
now such admissions
re: aforementioned impediment allows,
enables and provides boasting rights
if in a mood to temper
any curiosity or satisfying a rumor
whispered down the alley,
whence I said “ah”
left nagging nincompoops
as if pie hole filled with a gobstopper.
Once again, yours truly takes poetic license.
Whenever the missus irks me or complains...
I tell her don't "Hock me in chinik" nor kvetch
before long tête-à-tête escalates in2 Kanipshin
whereby the Army National Guard gets called
World War III declared Bubbe rolled over like
Beethoven in his grave where re: posthumous
renown one hundred & ninety eight years ago
March 26, 1827, never stopped decomposing
which countless noteworthy creations rank as
the mark of a prodigy with chutzpah to return
from the grave as an incorporeal essence with
trademark shock of hair unwittingly impacted
young hearts of females that went into aflutter
unbeknownst to said lasses who would qualify
as "groupies" in the parlance of contemporary
fans, but little known fact that unassuming key
gifted musician counts teachers, including his
father, Christian Gottlob Neefe, Joseph Haydn,
Johann Georg Albrechtsberger, Antonio Salieri,
& Johann Schenk bridged gap tween Classical
and Romantic eras centuries after the onset of
Yiddish, whereby scholars dated origin of the
language to the 9th century, when Ashkenazim
emerged as a unique cultural entity in central
Europe, thus speculation abounds that lyrical
spine tingling pièce de résistance Ode to Joy -
a melody based on poem by Friedrich Schiller
celebrates the unity of humankind, which song
considered a European anthem and a symbol
of brotherhood, freedom, & equality impossible
mission undertaken by semitic people generally
& Jewish folks particularly even then countless
centuries before relatively contemporary nations
resembled present day geography formerly the
cradle of Yiddish, which owned the equivalent
of top ten hits on billboard chart for beginning
of gobsmacked world predating REM by quite
a large number of centuries construing seeds of
life & white lily inchoate harbingers of Borscht
Belt a region in the Catskill Mountains of New
York that was a popular summer destination for
Jewish Americans from the 1920s to the 1960s:
The area was also known as the "Jewish Alps,"
showcasing debut of many notable comedians
such as the following extensive dam charming
name dropping who brought down the house
analogous to Rolling Stones “Rock the Casbah.”
Abbott & Costello, Joey Adams, Woody Allen, Morey Amsterdam, Bea Arthur, Sandy Baron, Jack Benny, Milton Berle Shelley Berman, Joey Bishop, Mel Blanc, Victor Borge, Mel Brooks, Lenny Bruce, Burns & Allen Pesach Burstein, Red Buttons, Sid Caesar, Jean Carroll, Jack Carter, Myron Cohen, Billy Crystal, Bill Dana, Rodney Dangerfield, Phyllis Diller, and the name dropping list continues with Totie Fields, Mickey Freeman, Betty Garrett, Estelle Getty, George Gobel, Shecky Greene, Buddy Hackett, George Jessel, Mickey Katz, Danny Kaye, Alan King, Robert Klein, Harvey Korman, Jack E. Leonard, Mal Z. Lawrence, Sam Levenson, Jerry Lewis, Richard Lewis, The Marx Brothers, Jackie Mason, Lou Menchell, Corbett Monica, Howard Morris, Zero Mostel, Jan Murray, Freddie Prinze Sr., Carl Reiner, Don Rickles, Joan Rivers, Freddie Roman, Rowan & Martin, Mort Sahl, Soupy Sales, Dick Shawn, Allan Sherman, Phil Silvers, Arnold Stang, David Steinberg, Jerry Stiller, The Three Stooges, Jackie Vernon, Gene Wilder, Jonathan Winters, Ed Wynn, and Henny Youngman to cap off shortlisted personalities who guaranteed a crowded house.
Ah... the glory of a restful sleep
Nothing beats the refreshing
blissful peaceful easy feeling
resulting from shut-eye after
feeling zonked out staying up
late after a hard day's night
binge reading or slaving o'er
crafting an umpteenth brilliant
masterpiece a comment from
modest sexagenarian oompa
loompa knucklehead waltzing
timid wordsmith experiencing
nirvana dreaming about glory
days of yore when peace on
earth and goodwill toward all
The sequels to All Creatures
Great and Small are All Things
Bright and Beautiful, All Things
Wise and Wonderful, The Lord
Dog Made Them All, and Every
Living Thing enumerated book
titles courtesy the late James
Herriot, a veterinarian whose
predicated stories linkedin on
personal experiences earning
trust among animal kingdom
included within that branch of
life includes the most atrocious,
hellacious, malicious, notorious
opprobrious, predacious, whew
pugnacious, rapacious, vicious
and vainglorious species whom
ever trod upon oblate spheroid
essentially running roughshod
over the Garden of Eden like a
bull in a china shop recklessly
bulldozing, donning, flagrantly
haranguing, jump/kick starting
marauding, oppressing, whew
quarantining, strangling, uber
abstract words such as liberty,
life,and the pursuit of personal
happiness forever enshrined,
and codified since forefathers/
mothers sacrificed life and limb
to secure said inalienable rights
severely compromised courtesy
forty seven president of United
States, whereat he condemned,
jilted brother/sisterhood wrought
demolition against progressive
social programs incorporating
diversity, equity, and inclusion
rendered null and void socially
progressive government pillars
upholding constitutional services
granting leeway for foreigners to
journey across badlands in an
effort to gain opportunities in the
"land of milk and honey" meant
originally a phrase mentioned in
the Bible in the Book of Exodus
& Deuteronomy Jewish tradition
to refer to Israel, but in the twenty
first century many Mexicans, and
other people's seeking protection
from persecution or serious human
rights violations also clamor to live
in a country, where opportunities
beckon (courtesy Lady Liberty) to
risk life & limb where subsequent
generations of full blooded citizens
will not fear being forcibly removed
from land they, an amorphous word
categorizing diverse groups of people
heralding from across all four corners
across the globe laboring videre licet
sweat of their brow to allow, enable
and provide what - people who live
here legally to relish the fruits of their
labor, which immediate deportment
will mean a significant spike in food
prices, cuz loads of fruits and veggies
get harvested, said grunt work averse
to most anybody else, who can earn
top dollar at a fast food restaurant,
or selling illegal contrabands (teeny
weenie tiny people playing jigs and
reels) to lavish & adorn themselves
with the trappings of wealth joining
the affluent, these nouveau riche an
envy living the life of riley easy street
yet methinks there might much more
to existence than groveling (like pigs
in a sty) aiming to accrue gazillion
dollars, when look at me, I myself
based on economic parameters
would be classed as indigent, what
with just enough unearned income
courtesy social security disability,
plus EBT (electronic bank transfer)
food stamp funds, but rejoice like
Henry Bemis, the character in the
Twilight Zone who works at a bank,
loves to read, and rejoices after
an atomic bomb goes off because
he believes he has "time enough
at last" to read, but I never worked
period thank mental health issues,
& revel gaining knowledge turning
pages of select books & magazines.
A (starry eyed) burst of creativity...
at approximately
a painfully early o'clock in the morning
give or take an o'clock
found yours truly (me) amassing
line after line of a poem
crazily coalescing courtesy
an extraordinary unfamiliar phenomena
while living social within alien nation,
said mental and physical explosion
vis a vis fast flexing
handy dandy appendages
creating satisfactory verse in their wake
materialized into an unexpected
pièce de résistance,
which brilliant tour de force
quickly set the keyboard a smokin hot
as fingers ripped across qwerty keyboard
buzzfeeding outrageously madly
(like the Flying Wallenda's
tearing thru empty space
while free falling into a net below
after leaping off a tightrope wire)
meanwhile analogous to yours truly,
a dumbfounded Schwenksville scribe
wrought demonstrable artifice
deftly driving his dogged digits
flashing thumbs up sign
videre licet proving preternatural realm accessible,
though usually reserved
for the fastest fiendish folksy fuddy duddy
envisioning himself jumping jack flash in the pan
golden sexagenarian oozing
nuggets of wisdom while searching
for a shortcut to instant riches
while waiting for his ship to come in
(waiting for a significant opportunity
or sudden windfall of wealth to arrive),
who meanwhile sits right here
within Highland Manor apartment b44 man cave
creating frivolous, idiotic, loopy, outré rubbish
(suddenly prompting an unsuspecting reader
to ponder the meaning of purpose driven life
and why in tarnation - without feathers
declaring out loud "how in the name of Sam Hill
can a wordsmith count him/herself talented"
spewing forth such nonsensical utter drivel)
unbeknownst to said captive audience of mine,
that somehow somewhere over the rainbow
perturbation within the atmosphere
such repugnant uber trashy vapid warbling
nevertheless affects the butterfly effect,
whereat (perhaps at a Synagogue
within Brooklyn, New York)
a highly religious Lubavitcher
flips pages of Torah
(analogous to shuffling a deck of cards)
sets an all time record breaking speed reading record
unfortunately no Guiness world authority
such as Norris, the one surviving
identical twin McWhirter brother,
(cuz Ross got Assassinated: November 27, 1975)
not present to notate how accomplish feat
declared fait accompli courtesy unofficial judges
while friction fueled fleshy fingertips
of ultra religious, pious,... industrious,
glorious, envious, cautious, ambitious
blitzed away a mile a minute,
outstripping the umbrella flying Mary Poppins
faster than you can say
supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
(nothing visible but a blinding blur
of fast moving fingers)
just barely keeping up appearances,
but not the Kardashians
with the crème de la crème
of nonpareil uber
trumpeting skedaddling rip-snorting,
quick as greased lightning typists
giving me id est Speedy Gonzales
a run for his pesos
(this side of Schwenksville),
when deluge of totally tubular
unrelated events simultaneously synchronize
whence above mentioned phenomena
induce smoldering spark
that inexplicably triggers thermonuclear war
and mushroom clouds
closely resembling the president
of the United States
and his sidekick Elon Musk.