today I've screamed my heart out

sorrounded by many sisters and amazing women

and left my workplace to fight

to participate in the revolution

to the woman who was looking at us

a smile that lights up her whole face:

thank you for coming to me

and telling me how grateful you are

we are supporting each other and making noise,

how much we reminded you of you in your youth

how impressed you were we are this young

thank you for your embrace, for bursting into tears

and making me burst into tears as well

you've given me so much

I promise you I'll never stop fighting

I'll use my voice till I no longer have it

I'll do it for you.

my lips are chapped

my favourite earrings on my nightstand

all the lights turned off

but one far away in the sky

this song clenching my heart

making it hurt

nourishing it with pain

and the only cure seems to be

out of reach

I'm in the middle of nowhere

I know who I was

I know who I will be

but I can't find the present me

uncertainties draining my soul

this feeling is so new

I'm full and suddenly I'm empty

I wish the song didn't have to end.

and just when I think I'm done

when I've closed the door

when I'm no longer lost

but found, at least kind of.

just when future is all I see

when I wish we didn't meet

when I'm focused on me

just when tables have turned

when this city does no longer remember

when your voice is a stranger's

you are back

knocking on my door

claiming your place in my life

stepping on everything I've built

well I'm sorry I'm made of iron

when it comes to you

I'm sorry my heart has learnt

how to be immune to you

I'm sorry I'm not even sorry.

and last Saturday

I can't put into words

how brightly

how amazing

how mind-blowing

it was

all of us women

standing together

holding each other's hands

sparkling eyes

keeping each other warm

keeping silence

and screaming our hearts out

for those of us

who lost their voices.

women supporting women

Madrid became the tomb of sexism

thank you sisters

for making me feel at home.

my hands were shaking

I could barely stand still

my heart went wild

I looked up and stared at them

I was about to open my mouth

to let those words bathe in my voice

I cleared my throat

and hoped I'd make it

to the very end

to the very last verse

I put voice to that poem

my hands could barely hold that script

my voice broke halfway

the audience thought that was it

so did I

but I stood still

put voice to that woman's pain

just for her

and when I looked up

everyone in that room

broke down and would not stop crying

my voice made them cry

and I burst into tears;

all of us were a mess

just for her,

just for her pain.

It comes to you

when you least expect it

when you think you're done

when you wish you were done

when you're just gone

it comes embodied as a song

or a university lecture

or an espidifen pill

or a city name.

it comes

it sweeps me off my feet

it leaves

it wrecks me

just like you did

just like you still do.

in me used to live a girl;

this girl was not full of life

she was life

she would stop doing that she was doing

just to stare out the window

and observe the sunset;

she would look at the future

tie her hair and go for it.

that girl somehow left

found somewhere she liked better

in me lives a girl

made out of fear;

this girl looks at the future

yet keeps turning her head

just to look at the past;

she looks out the window,

shakes her head

and keeps doing her job,

hoping that someone's

appreciating that sunset

just like she would've done.

but sometimes there's this knock

knock

knock

and this other girl comes back in

hugs the girl living in me

and says goodbye,

leaving her scent for me

to remember.

For putting up with me

our wholes lives,

especially these past six years;

for writing your poetry about me

even when I don't deserve it.

For picking me up every day,

with a smile on your face

and the sweetest 'morning' on your lips.

For creating poetry no one knows about

but me.

For having created an agreement

we haven't even talked about,

yet both of us are aware of;

for being one of the strongest

people I've ever met.

For laughing everything off,

yet carrying the world on your shoulders;

for calling me by my surname

just to piss me off.

His verses sometimes happen to be

about me;

today mine are his,

it's the least I can do.

I close my eyes and I'm back there,

I smell beer and this guy's cologne,

the guy who's hugging me,

but it's not him I'm looking at.

I close my eyes and I'm back there,

and there's no worries or muddy thoughts

anymore;

it's your eyes looking into mine,

as if the hand on my back belonged to you,

it's your eyes burning my insides,

as if it were only you and me.

I close my eyes and I'm back there,

and everything's clear,

I finally get every single cheesy song

and my heart skips a beat.

I open my eyes and I'm back here,

and all of it, long gone,

but this song making its way to my heart,

begging me to close my eyes once more.