What would you call a pessimistic Koala?

(Would he be a bearer of bad news, or a marsupial of bad news?)

So see, he must be a bear!

I did not think that a bear can whisper, especially not in English, so I am prone to believe it… that a Koala is not a bear, that is?

Of course these days, no matter what it is, it only needs to say it is not a bear, re-pronoun itself, and then it can be whatever it wants… even if what it wants is to be a female swimmer (or so says Simone).

I recall hearing a few years ago that the Giant Panda was finally reclassified as a bear. Up until 1980 or so it had been classified as a raccoon, so it could be that the Koala is right after all, and is not a bear, but is actually a possum? But more so I find it intriguing that it even cares if it’s a bear? I mean what else would it want to be? Certainly it does not want to be a man! Ugh. Or even a woman... not even if it can outswim one.

I heard where something like 80% of women surveyed said that if they were alone in the woods they would feel safer coming across a bear than a man. Those women must think the bear they came across would be a Koala, mustn't they? I mean, the average man would certainly be better to come across than would a Polar, or a Grizzly Bear? Good grief, the average man in the wild would not even notice she was there anyways, and would continue playing his video game right up until supper time. And if she didn’t feel like cooking (which she likely would not these days) he would be ok with Door-Dash, while a proper bear who was not a Koala would probably be less willing to wait on it’s supper, if you know what I mean? Just my thoughts on the matter.

Perhaps the Koala doesn’t want to be a bear because it is embarrased by the, “does a bear shit in the woods” question? I know I am, every time some beary dumb person repeats it.

Say, which bear is it that hibernates while standing on its head? Oh yea, Yoga Bear!

I know, I know. Sorry about that one.

Y’all do like a Polar Bear and stay cool, you hear!