Our Final Sendoff [Chapter Snippet]

I couldn’t help my melancholy. It had a strange way of settling into my chest with a weight I couldn't exactly shove off, but he was next to me… Wren was.

He made it feel— better and I know for lack of words that probably didn't sound convincing but it did.

I looped down the exit ramp that circled the side of the parking garage sharply. I hated how it wound up, and my hands only tightened on the steering wheel as I tried to keep my focus on the tightly curved ramp. We finally made it out on the bottom and I almost wasn't sure that I had made the correct turn until it emptied out into the straits right before we started to jump into line to pay for parking.

I hated how we had to pay for something that was so short. It felt unfair. Eighteen dollars down the drain for less than thirty minutes to say goodbye to Denise. It was like someone was making profit off of my pain and I wanted to scream at them.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded at him. “Yeah—” I sniffed, trying to keep my eyes from watering. “I’m just a little sad.” I downplayed it. “But I'm trying to remember how I’m going to stop by my house just to make sure that we’re good and that they didn’t miss anything.” I felt some calm run through me, listening to his voice. It settled me in a way, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Letting my hands slide down the sides of the steering wheel, I gave the car a little more gas as we exited onto the interstate. “You know I won’t seriously take that position from you, though, right?”

I heard him shift in his seat, and a warm hand slid over my lap, gently squeezing. Carefully, I peeled my gaze from the road to quickly glance over and see Warren staring at me. He was leaning on his fist with his elbow propped against the door's armrest, and just looking at me. “I’m really not that bothered by it,” he smiled.

My ears warmed a little and I felt my sadness wane. “Why?” I asked him, a soft laugh breaking through my calm mask as a smile made its way onto my lips.

“Because you’re amazing and I know you’d be great at it,” he told me.

“Wh-What?” I scoffed, glancing over at him once more before I turned to look ahead. “No. I am not the leader type. I barely talk to your family.”

Still, I blushed lightly at the prospect of it or maybe it was the way he was rubbing his heated palm against my upper thigh and then back down it. Licking my bottom lip, I sucked my next breath in before pressing my lips together. “I can only be myself around you anyway.” I admitted softly.

He chuckled at my response and it sounded endearing. “Maybe I’m biased then.”

“Maybe a bit,” I smirked, my nose wrinkling at him as I kept my focus dead ahead. I lifted one hand from the steering wheel, my right and pinched my forefinger and thumb together to give a hint to how small I was talking. “Just a tad.” Letting loose another deep breath, I felt my body relax a bit more as I leaned back against the driver's seat instead of leaning forward. “I really hope Denise will be okay. I wanted to see her board the flight.”

“She’ll be okay,” he assured me. It sounded genuine and I really did appreciate him consoling me when I felt so insecure. It was nice to know that he wasn't saying that just out of hope, but also because there was a pack nearby that was going to be committed to making sure that she wasn't going to be a target.

“I know. My aunt is supposed to already be there, waiting to fly back with her and you said your family has connections…” My smile waned. “I just- I worry. I went through a lot and I don’t want her to experience anything I went through, but you’re right. She’ll be fine. I guess- I guess I’m just afraid to part with her.” Admitting that out loud made me feel so much closer to her, like the distance of the years gone by hadn't really made us feel like we were worlds apart. But honestly, I didn't know too much about my little sister. I spent so much time trying to stick around dad until that accident that I really didn't know as much about her as I could readily admit. Denise was her own person and she had her own life and she had been uprooted from that because Dad made decisions that neither of us were able to reconcile. Hell… those decisions had a ripple effect and here I was, riding the wave with Warren. “She’s my little sister. I love her, you know?”

Saying that was the truth. I didn't feel any better putting Denise out in the middle of nowhere, away from everything she knew while I got to stay here. I'm sure that she probably felt like it was unfair, and I know that I told her that the state wasn't going to let us stay together, but it really felt like a cop-out. I felt like I wasn't trying hard enough and that I wasn't giving her the fight that she probably thought she deserved.

She definitely deserved the fight.

It just wasn't as apparent that I was fighting for her as much as I wished it was.

“I understand. I’d be more worried if you didn’t care.”

“No!” I gasped, my grip on the steering wheel loosening. “Of course I’m worried. I’m not a monster.” Though, mentally I felt like I was on my way to becoming one. I blinked, wide-eyed as I stared at the road, and I gaped a little at my internal confession. “I mean, yeah, sure…” I rattled out, my voice shaky, “I was contemplating burning my parent's house to the ground after this as my last ‘fuck you’ to those assholes my dad was working with, but—” I laughed sorely, “I really need money so-” I shrugged, trying to suppress my pain with some dark humor.

Wren laughed at that, and I figured he was ignorant to how much this still hurt or I was just really good at seeming okay. “Ah-” he whispered. “I love you.”

I snorted, smiling through watering eyes. “You love me even though I could pass as potentially insane.”

“Insane?” he asked me. And I nodded, laughing as I tilted my head back and to the right to give him a quick sideways glance.

“Mm,” he shook his head, still smiling. I felt his hand squeeze my leg. “Maybe more– Violent… Yeah.”

Surprise had my brows rising. “What?” I asked, coughing as I choked back a laugh.

Wren shrugged at me. “Either way, I fucking love it.”

My heart felt like it nearly skipped a beat as the weight of the turmoil let up. “I can’t wait to be out there with you.” I wanted to feel the thrill and rush of this new life, to shake off the impending dark at the back of my mind, and I was confident Wren would help push that all back. “I’m sure… I’m sure you’ll show me the ropes,” I snickered low under my breath, shaking my head. I gave him a side-eye for a moment as we pulled up to the gate of my neighborhood.

“I’m sure,” he answered, and I did a quick double take at that devilishly handsome smile. For all it was worth, it definitely made my stomach swirl.

Glancing at the slow gate, I watched it take its sweet time to open from the clicker before I flashed him a half-grin. “What kind of competitions are we going to have with each other anyway? Capture counts? Kill counts?” My brows rose at the last question as it set in and my heart started to race. I let loose a laugh to suppress my nerves, then gave the car a little gas as we rolled into the neighborhood and I felt my ears tune in for his response, eager. When I didn’t hear an immediate response, I quickly added. “Thoughts?”

I think he shook his head at me, probably laughing low under his breath. It was kind of weird. Though all the noises of the car had me distracted—especially because I was still getting accustomed to the louder sounds of noises and smells— and I couldn’t exactly make out his response next to me.

“All of it.”

I internally scoffed, my chest heaving with that exaggerated breath as I shut the car off and hit the clicker of my seatbelt.

“All of it?”

“All of it,” he reassured me, like he was more intent on watching me do the job than engage in competition with me. I had a feeling I knew where his head was going with this, because he had already surprised me more than once before since my transition.

“Why do I get the feeling that you wouldn't try as hard as I would?” I asked as I laughed between my next inhale. It sounded incredulous. This guy… I rolled my eyes, shaking my head at him before I turned to give him my full and undivided attention. My eyes set on him, on the cool jet black hair that made his blue eyes tinge brighter than they probably were. Or maybe that was the predatory refraction of light gleaming through them. Either way, he always gave me such a heated look with them because they almost always seemed to light up when looking at me.

What was he thinking now?

“Wren.” My voice nearly vibrated with the sound of his name pulling up from my throat to my lips, as I tried to take a more playfully chastising tone with him.

He flashed those pearly white canines at me, and I swore I could see the sharpness in the smaller incisors next to them. Even if I didn’t, it got my heart racing because his next words came out rough and almost husky.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he told me. Before I could protest to him, he kissed me, and I shrank back slightly in surprise as he caught my wrist to keep me from jerking back entirely.