Wanting to be yours

You aren't mine. You never were.

Still I wish I had a claim on you.

But I have no reason to,

we're simply fighting for first place

we're simply just trying to be above the other.

Yet, if you asked with a please I would let you win

If you batter your lashes I would crumble.

If you're green eyes looked deep into my brown ones for a second longer

I would cave without thought.

Sometimes I wonder how you don't know how much I want you

How much effort it takes to not say anything

How hard it is to pretend not to be jealous of your new girlfriend.

The one that has it down for you, so I won't say anything.

How you don't see the yearning in my eyes when I meet your eyes

So, I'll watch you from a distance.

Watch your perfect blonde hair glint in the sunlight, to far away to see your eyes

Watch your little habits that somehow dug their way into my bones, heart, and soul.

Watch you laugh and joke, but to far away to hear exactly what they said.

Watch you from afar.

Because, though you are my crush, I can't say anything

I claim it's because your ego doesn't need another boost, but it's really because I'm scared

I will not say anything. I will simply watch from the sidelines,

I will not say anything. I will just continue to pretend to hate you.

I will not say anything. I will roll my eyes at anything you say instead.

Wanting to be yours, while you are three feet away.

Wanting to be yours, even as I say everything that contradicts that

Wanting to be yours, though you could never be mine.

Wanting to be yours, because at one point you were just the guy on the bus

Wanting to be yours, while you pretend to be rude, but you'll talk to me for hours.

Remembering, when we would just gossip about anything because we were just kids on a bus

Remembering, the time I first realized I had a crush on you

Remembering, when I decided that I would never tell you

Remembering, a time when maybe I would have, but not anymore

Remembering, how I could make you laugh, and smile a true smile and not a smirk.

Just because I will be yours so easily though, doesn't mean you'll be mine.

Just because I feel this way, doesn't mean you do to.

Just because I want this, doesn't mean you ever will

Just because I have spent everyday memorizing the sheen of your hair, doesn't mean you have

Just because I wish for you with every star, every 11 11, every dandelion, doesn't mean you do to.