Stuck on a Past version of you

who loved me with every fiber

wishing I took more photos curled on the sofa laughing at comedies

or glances on date nights bowling remember I had cotton candy on my hand a sneaky stare your eyes held a different hunger 

I looked for proof in a frame of those eyes that promised the moon and mars. 

dissolving memories those eyes are gone replaced with ice they look at me only with disgust

I hate myself again

not just forgetting those eyes of love but also the past version of myself who believed in forever for us

 my heart learning something new 

the feeling of breaking

the illusions

of us