Best to leave you to your hobby, before you call me needy

again.

I did it. You told me to find a hobby and I did.

I am, proud of myself because I learned to open my heart

to something else that couldn’t turn away

and say no.

lucky you are

you say no man

would stay with someone

like me who needs endless fixing

you continue to say

men leave

men lie

but i stay

i support

you say as if i don't say thank you enough

as if i don't do the same

but i forget you can't see me

maybe one day you'll feel lucky too

but i know today is not the day

so i try again to be better for our children and love you a little less because i know that is what you want to be left alone while you fill a role

i used to beg

and pray for your time.

but this love leaves me

tired

i no longer seek

our good days

now i search

for you in our kid's days

sad though

even there my presence fades

their developments, their light, you credit

others the source

as if i am ghost

in their lives

every

morning

every

night

I moved a million mountains for us

and somehow that’s is still not enough

to deserve your love

every time

we gaze

there is a pain

in my heart

it won’t go away

this life

took a toll

on us

the bad days

got the best of us

I never know which person i get.

But lately it’s the one, that hates me.

And then picks at my flaws reminds me why i am not enough.

But maybe, I believe in myself for once.

I am enough

I am enough

for them

and my self.