Deep purple outcast Earthling...
Finds living social brutal, an impossible mission among an alien nation of nasty trumpeting sore losers, who don their heads periwigged with orange coiffure emulating, looking, and ululating trolls bemoaning the existence of hashtagged second class citizens such as yours truly, a genetic anomaly whose misconstrued physique (mine), an innocent married sexagenarian, whose predilection towards stranger things (that go bump in the night) experienced being character assassinated, electronically besmirched, and forever crucified for claiming to be divine creator reincarnate attested by scars evincing severe puncture wounds (courtesy sharp stake) to palms of each hand, where river of blood coagulated upon emaciated body electric, yet never totally extinguishing unbridled spirit.
Abandonment at birth courtesy young unwed mother of mine found her set beet red, gangly and scraggly newborn within basket - case there might happen by the boulevard of broken dreams, an altruistic, deterministic, humanistic, maternalistic, spiritualistic, and zootheistic good samaritan (and a nice Jewish man to boot - ha), which wayfaring stranger from a stranger land or maybe even an extraterrestrial channeler from amidst dark shadows hoovering within outer limits of the twilight zone, whereby said nebulous Gaia the Greek goddess of Earth, mother of all life, similar to the Roman Terra Mater (mother Earth) reclining with a cornucopia, or the Andean Pachamama, the Hindu, Prithvi, “the Vast One,” or the Hopi Kokyangwuti, Spider Grandmother, who with Sun god Tawa created Earth and its creatures.
Fast forward sixty five years to the present where wedded bliss eludes a wordsmith envisioning being whisked away (with a half sashay, and a do-si-do) at light speed to accompany other worldly species as interstellar travel fine companion to hopskotch across the universe despite obvious and immediate language barrier, and essential species difference gnome matter said cosmic dust rendered myself and other entity divergent organisms prone to eye each other with at least one characteristic aberration, barbarization, elucidation, fascination, intercommunication, jubilation, melodramatization, nonconfrontation, et cetera.
Upon surrendering this self hypnotized faux yes ("FAKE") Earthing, I noticed nothing amiss (which temporary state of transcendent bliss twice daily meditation strives to attain), ah...before you dismiss a non "FAKE" claim lemme juiced apprise ye with a very brief hiss tour re:, how this generally outlandish (long gush fellow) doth wanna kiss hippy, cheeky and buddy UFO's (with chess a bot of errant knightly - je ne sais quois finesse, Oh Henri Matisse - yea artfully add a touch of Swiss obviously predominantly French laced politesse), though up pawn occasion this lousy manque nonrook key mutant doth miss long disused subtle social cues, cuz I still feel asper (in) a human aberration always felt like an outcast in an alien nation even though born on Mars, (a distinct honorable station), yet resided on third rock from the sun what seems like forever damnation yours truly experienced abolition against supposed invaders from outer space, and essentially targeted, kindled, and bullied on par like an abomination, no surprise while attempting to escape being walled din, and trumped "illegal" accusation crackled, snapped, and popped with abjection, your honor (forgot to mention earlier got picked up mistaken as invitation from outer space by a kid prized as some sophisticated surveillance drone), within a sketchy section of town, and must avoid acquisition by mad scientists (employed by NASA), who will undoubtedly take immediate action and disassemble me (carefully as if dismantling Bono fide atomic bomb), hence activation must be established pronto against administration, sans powerful GMO firearm, emitting disinformation (mine defense of last resort) will definitely signal to nemesis furthering my aggravation, and Putin this webbed, whirled, and wired woebegone wysiwyg at risk.
I ably, eagerly, readily, and willingly roll out the Scottish Tartan mat in an honest to dog effort to be removed (ofttimes experiencing chilblains as persona non grata) as soon as possible off a planet chock a block teeming with billions of anglocentric, eccentric, egocentric, humancentric, phallogocentric, et cetera bumping uglies during three hundred and sixty five days (one additional twenty four hour period occurring every leap year), self absorbed in satisfying basic instinct to procreate despite overpopulation imposing immense stress upon oblate spheroid analogous to spinning wheel (threading thru Milky Way galaxy) across variable cosmic tapestry in the sky that keeps on turnin.'
How curious to embark on long day's journey into night where experiencing inescapable gentle tug of black hole's gravitational pull extends indefinitely, but its strength diminishes with distance subsequently the gravitational force from a black hole can be felt from any distance, but it becomes weaker the farther you are from the black hole, therefore no specific "cut-off" distance for its gravitational influence, but it becomes negligible at large distances, just like any other massive object in space.
Beginner's luck found yours truly (me) honored and privileged to become linkedin with space travel endeavor, which global enterprise incorporated representative ace cadets inured to the rigorous regimen of zero gravity.
An exceptional solo flight to Mars on a lark, (a summer vacation experienced many years before as an audacious, capricious, and precocious adolescent and native Martian to boot), who stealthily boarded the sleek and sophisticated state of the art missile, (which stood ready to be launched at a moment's notice) did notch prospects and counted as figurative feather in my cap considerably increasing prospect to voyage into the realm when the space/time continuum burst with a big chitty chitty bang bang, when entering the spatial sweepstakes for a one way ticket to witness the beginning formation of galaxies.
Even though an aerospace engineer with an assignment in top secret government project to sendd an unmanned rocket to the red planet, (the intention to scramble aboard the massive satellite required careful planning over the course of many months), I lacked particular knowledge about entering hatchways, which would allow, enable, and provide easy access to enter the control center.
Company policy frowns on interaction between one department and another issued special badges (even with the most restrictive clearance) to minimize espionage and sabotage, and/or the selling of vital information to a competitor particularly Russia, many other countries that comprise the Soviet Bloc, and even China.
In an effort to obtain vital information for redacted reports mentioning (or even alluding) to general data points about said undertaking, I won over any skepticism on behalf of chief executive officers (and their ilk) with a sincere concern the normal wear and tear of the components at structural junctures subject to excessive metal fatigue.
With the aid of latest computer hardware and software, the graphical user images on the screen showed every square inch of each module, which electronic schematics could be rotated three hundred and sixty degrees in at least (but not limited to) three dimensional arrangement.
Upon request, a permit became available for me to scrutinize the actual entire multistage proud product at various stages of completion utilizing digital camera, hand held tablet, and latest implements of the trade notating courtesy diagram and description any questionable site that cast a dark shadow of doubt for a successful thrust of mother ship into deep space nine.
Lest any tell tale signs signs of an independent research enterprise betrayed my true where-abouts and/or ulterior motives, an undisclosed pricey retreat someplace in the tropics constituted the solee extent for my explanation at a long term leave of absence, which got corroborated courtesy revamped computer program responsible for monitoring surveillance in the far fetched event some intelligent living social alien life source ransacked premises.
As the day of lift off approached, an stepped up increase in preparations for my lengthy surreptitious stay in space took place. Tucked away in frequently overlooked nooks and crannies behind innocuous panels stood cannistors of food, me books and telecommunications devices, aa high powered microscope and writing material as back up medium.
All those months blankly staring at least one, (but ofttimes many more) monitor screens, thumbing thru technical reports, and quite a few unobserved practice dry runs (to familiarize and adequately prepare me with the real test) witnessed perfect blast off without a hitch into the infinite azure sky, more so the color of an inky abyss as millions of miles jettisoned yours truly permanently away from nearly totally traumatized Earth.
Even with the aid of a seatbelt and shoulder strap, the powerful shocked thrust from the forced propulsion heavily bore down against my forehead and created the sensation of being flattened by a steamroller, but once outside the powerful force of the planetary pull, I experienced a lightness of being. Arms and legs floated up as if I owned no control (to major Tom) over them.
From recent maneuvers in a simulated environment of weightlessness at the Astronaut Training Center (ATC for short), a place about halfway to the moon available to all employees who thought to relocate to of of a dirty dozen deeded deployment destinations strategically strewn across a trafficked trajectory.
Although usually considered unwise to bounce around in a free form fashion within a traditional sized room without a strong rope tied around the waist and affixed to a secure anchoring post, or donning suction shoes, the cubicle housing makeshift main headquarters the exception to aforementioned rule, which cramped area not specifically designed to carry a passenger (unless excursionist qualified as an authentic midget) offered slight breathing space to average sized person excellent at being a contortionist.
Anything I wanted could be obtained within arms length. Most of the intervening hours whiled away found yours truly (me) adopting meditative pose, whereby a certain serenity pervaded throughout my entire trek into the outer limits of the twilight zone lulled into mental, physical, and spiritual quiescence courtesy absolute zero sound, nary a whine of engine disrupted hypnotic trancelike state.
Within the immediate moments after blastoff, the third rock from the sun (home to multitudinous species of life that proliferated despite impact of Homo sapiens upon all animals and plants exhibiting wanton exploitation of fauna and flora to buzzfeed the capital one promulgation of industrialization) instantaneously receded into a pinprick of light before blinking out altogether, which inky blackness suddenly pronounced, accentuated, underlining austere beauty of the cosmos.