What do you mean I can't hold it? You use it all the time when you're building things in your workshop. You make those big pieces of wood half the size with a single cut! Is that not something worth sharing with me? Yes, I know that zig-zaggy tool is sharp and as tall as I am, but that sort of technology should be shared! Especially with me! How dare you keep the cool things away from me.
Wait, I spilled that container of silver toothpick-looking metal things on the floor? I don't remember doing that, how do you remember it? It was days ago. Quit dwelling on the past. Wait, the dog ate some, why would he do that? Even I can tell it's not food, that's on her if we're being honest. Don't yell at me for something that could have been prevented with better training... not not with me, the dog!
Okay, but why wouldn't I touch the thing that spins simply by pressing a button? That's a recipe for my interest father. It spins and if I push hard enough, I can make holes appear in anything. I don't understand how this spinning of metal makes these hols in the wall, but boy do I love it.
Alright, maybe I shouldn't have made a hole in the jug holding all that water.
Why blame it all on me? I'm doing nothing more than indulging in my own curiosity, how dare you interrupt the advancement of my mind! Not that I can actually say any of this to you, I can barely explain what I'm thinking when it involves more than ten syllables. But hear me! You never hear me! I am tactile old man, I have to touch it to understand. You don't understand me, none of you people do. The dog will indulge me in my endeavors, but you won't! And she's clearly not as smart as me! What does this say about you, evil warden?
If you ever say that again I will never forgive you! No, I won't understand when I'm older, I refuse to be anything like you adults! Acting like you understand the pain and turmoil you put me through on the daily. You think I need to eat those tiny green trees to be healthy? You never eat yours, so how dare you put such a thing in my lap. Why don't I eat more of those candies that Nana gave me? If you want me healthy, me being happy is the best route for that, and that sugary goodness is what brings me the most happiness, and you refuse to feed them to me at every meal! You've relegated them to being a reward for eating my final meal of the day...a cruel torment, but I'll hand it to you, it's effective. The more I think of it...most of your trickery is effective. You've confused me... I both admire your parenting, and shake my fist at it. I will raise my kids better than you, no trickery, all candy.
You said the same thing when you were my age? Damn you.