Never to be said

Sometimes it's on the tip of my tongue ...the moment when you scared me the most

In moments of fury-

I want to tell you

...because I know it would hurt

In moments of honesty -

I want to tell you

...but I know it would hurt

Am I sparing you?

Or am I being dishonest?

Sometimes I ache to speak, to part my lips and let the words flow forth

To clear the festering hurt

Because I was scared (so scared)

But...I know you didn't know

And if I speak

... the regret will fester in you forever

And I know you didn't know

I know-

You love me with your everything

and that confession would hurt

So maybe I am sparing you

But I'm sparing myself too

... of causing you that hurt

So I shut my mouth

Bite my lips, bite back words

And-

my hurt lingers

Forever- like a breath caught in my chest

I suppose it was simply a choice

Between my eternal torment or yours

And I choose the ache in my chest

... everyday