I hold Silence

in my mind

like a child

that I know

will never

be mine

08.12.2023

Silence, Cure or Disease? challenge @BurialandUtopia

Silence hardly ever cures anything.

Silence allows evil people to believe they are right.

Silence allows wounds to fester.

Silence allows people to remain hurt.

Silence is only a cure for those who walk on others.

Silence allows them to rise without opposition.

Silence allows them to remain unchanging.

Silence is victory for them.

Silence is not a cure,

but it is not the disease either.

Disease would imply it is the cause,

the reason for hurt, sometimes it is, but more often it is not.

Silence is the denial of the disease.

Silence is the pain killer,

it makes your problems temperarily go away,

but you still know they are there

and eventually it will stop working.

sometimes silence is a cure-all after arguments

if we walk away before all our respect for the other is chipped off

bit-by-bit

if neither party is too loud

and if and only if

we've already hashed it out once

or twice

eventually silence happens anyway

after a peaceful truce, a polite ducking out of the room

“agree to disagree”

ceasefire

neither party puts up a white flag for surrender

but, in not-so-good cases,

someone slams the door

and leaves only silence behind them

it is a bandaid for an oversized wound

the bleeding stops, at least while they're gone

you cannot cut me open any further

in the worst cases, in fatal screaming matches

if you rip pages of old memories from your diary

and I pour out all the unatoned for mistakes like miles and miles of gasoline

the flames will get higher

if you kindle the fire, it will grow

but silence will happen

terrified and resigned, we will walk away

in opposite directions

or with all the energy spent poking and prodding at things

in the room that keeps getting hotter

we will sit down in the burning house

and let it swallow us

when we are no longer anything tangible

there is silence for those around us

the crime scene cleaners will have to come before anything new can be built there

new partners and children will not arrive until the debris is gone

they will have an exorcist come, too, to rid every bit of evil from the newly-built home

until then, there will be a sign that reads for every guest:

these walls cannot love without shame

cannot wake without funeral

even after we are born again, halfway across the world from each other

there is no more blood on the carpet, no strands of my hair are stuck in the shower drain

when everyone is asleep in comfortable sheets

I walk downstairs to double-check that the doors are locked

and I swear - I hear us arguing at the kitchen table

silence - in its most literal sense -

does nothing to stop the noise

and in that sense, it is like a disease

the incurable kind

Silence is a broad idea, and people may perceive it in many different ways. Silence may be a cure to some because by science, it actually lowers your blood pressure and improves concentration, as well as reducing stress levels in your body. Silence may be a cure to some because it's a way to drift yourself apart from conflict, and you can just focus on yourself instead of others. If silence is a cure, then it's also a form of healing. Tension fades away. Slowly stopping to care about other people's problems because you've always felt like you have to fix their problems in order for them to be happy. Silence is one, powerful idea because literally any form of emotion can pass by you, depending on how you perceive silence. Some people may feel glad. Or some people may feel unbearable euphoria. Others may feel angry and a sense of sorrow, because silence could also be noxious to some.

Silence could also be a deadly disease to most. Imagine yourself being in the other party. Your friend has suddenly ghosted you and never gave you a definite reason that they did, which leaves you alone. Forgotten. Lost. Twisted in incertitude. It's painful, because you don't know what you did wrong, and you may feel uncertain that they even enjoyed your company with you, which was why silence can also be back-stabbing, painful, and consuming. Like a deadly disease that you can't get rid of. If the person who had ghosted you has not said anything, it's most likely that silence is also a form of their answer to your relationship.

Silence isn't an answer to a yes or no question, but it's one of the most powerful responses ever created. Sometimes, words can't describe how they're feeling and silence would be their only way to respond. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than words. Sometimes, silence is literally how they're feeling. If you imagine a blank piece of paper, and the question asks you, "How are you feeling right now?", leaving the paper blank is a valid response. Sometimes, we don't know how to respond to such questions like that. Sometimes, a blank piece of paper sums up everything.

Silence is not only a cure or a disease, but also a response.

At the end of the day, there's no one-word answer to this. At the end of the day, it's all about perspective. It's all about how you perceive it.

Silence could explain everything and nothing.

Silence is everything.

silence

is neither a cure nor a disease,

merely a tool,

to thwart or accelerate justice

at the whims

of its user.

it is a weapon,

bending to the intentions

of its wielder,

to end an argument

or start one,

to create suffering,

or manifest peace.

such is the way of tools:

not a cure

nor a disease,

merely a needle.

in the right hands, a vaccine.

but in another’s, a poison.

Silence deafens me

...in societal acquiescence

...in ecclesiastical denial

...in judicial blindness

...in answers tantamount to yes or no

in lieu of courage

depending on the disease

Silence because the words won't come

is troublesome

After any loud sound

It's gladly found

It's the saving grace

of my noise sensitivity

Yet also the enemy

of my selective mutism

One thing

many perspectives

You can have too much of a good thing

as Simon and Garfunkel say:

silence like a cancer grows

Silence is nothing. Quite literally, silence is...

nothing.

Let's compare it to an empty page.

Sometimes an empty page is the answer to the problem. It is a fresh start, the erasing of mistakes, and the moving on.

And so, silence is a cure.

Sometimes, an empty page is the problem. It is apathetic emptiness, turning a blind eye, and loneliness.

And so, silence is a disease.

Silence alone is nothing. It is an empty vessel. What it is filled with depends on you.