I'm too in my head, never quite stepping out and seeing reality as it plays out in real time. it's like watching the world pass by in recorded documents, of words and scenes, photos; a snapshot of moments past too busy, too preoccupied with insecurities and anxieties about things yet to come to enjoy the present moment. happiness feels elusive because I'm constantly on a spiral to reach the bottom, grasping at wisps of air with the scent long gone, half lived life, moments gone. wasted.