I hate how I’m like this

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I'm still lost.

I couldn't find a way out of here.

To this stagnant loop of self-pity and blame.

I seem to get stuck trying to step forward.

What am I to do now?

It's all so foreign yet empty at the same time, to feel the limited freedom I gained from being stubborn.

What was it that i've been trying to do?

How did I lost sight of my goal?

I wasn't allowed to dream... extravagantly,

freely,

selfishly.

I should only choose the practicality of our situation.

I am not allowed to have something...so useless.

Utterly worthless things.

I drop out of college.

To be specific...I abandoned my responsibility to such extent.

All that I could blame was myself.

My fault.

It's all my fault.

For not having any better dreams

For not making myself let go of the only thing I have.

For not being able to have a clear goal.

For not even trying.

I... I tried though

But I got scared in the process.

I wasn't supported to this kind of path.

My parents chose my academics than the career path I would like to chose.

I lost sight of what's important.

What's my priority?

What's supposed to be my priority?