Apologies

The wrong one. That’s what I have always been. There isn’t a safe space to explain all the pain that I’ve caused. The autism spectrum is not made for people like me, even though it should be. I am also a pretty girl, with pretty girl problems. We aren’t always expected to talk so much, or think so much. The adhd part of me doesn’t know what to do with that. I’ve broken a lot of men. Not on purpose. This is not written for sympathy of any kind. I wouldn’t know what to do with that. I am perfectly fine with who I am. Mostly because it has taken every ounce of energy to push that person forward. I no longer apologize for her. You either accept me or you don’t. I could care less. I could also care more. I don’t have the attention span to hold on to other people’s thoughts. I’m working on building a filter. It has yet to arrive. All I can say is this is the best version of me. And I am happy I took the time to make her come alive again.