A Fear of One’s Self

Will I ever truly love the person I see looking back at me in the mirror? I constantly chase a fleeting dream of achievement. A dream of personal growth, both physical and emotional. I wonder if it is real? Perhaps I am chasing a long-forgotten inkling of a begotten existence. My ideals are they just, or are they forever flawed? I get so lost, so very lost, dreams never ending, ever consuming. They bleed into every crack of my waking existence. Sometimes, I feel as though they are driving me mad! Plagued by the stinging pain of contempt, I fight to stay afloat. A Life of stagnation, of stunted growth, perpetually dragging me under. I feel trapped staring into that mirror eyes locked, unable to look away. Is it fear that keeps me there? Perhaps it’s my inability to grasp the things in which I don’t fully understand? I can only hope that one day I can move past the person who looks back upon me in the mirror.

- Alice M Lanier.