Deep sorrow, black pain, and endless death.
This is what I see, for my eyes are not mortal, they’re dammed!
Cursed by the wretched soul of the dark to see the pain and sorrow in the world.
The pit of agony we create as a race. The secrets we hide, the lies we tell.
For we are not the ones who are civilized. No, we are among beasts, maybe even lower. We're foul, I know for I am different, I see the world with open eyes of emptiness.
It hurts to know you cannot trust your fellow man, for he will forsake you.
In this time maybe even the gods don’t care, because even I have lost all hope for humanity.
A Cold December Morning,
Wrapped in your arms, your warmth a stark contrast from the bitter cold December night. Our blissful sleep was disturbed by the soft glow of the rising winter sun ebbing over the horizon. I gazed out the window to a surreal scene. The world so unbelievably still, so devoid of life, covered in a blanket of the purest white reflecting the brilliant orange fire of the sun. A world ablaze in a cascade of fire and ice. The ugliness of the world melted away, like the ice frozen to the glass. To reveal a beauty that I had all but forgotten could ever exist.
The thoughtless silence, a growing peace.
Gently floating on a flat sea.
I stare into the dark sky, watching my life play by, a movie projected on the heavens.
An emptiness like no other filling a void deep inside my soul, a sinking ship, a titanic. Waves of sorrow with no emotion, only a creeping cold, a ghastly shiver.
A rush of adrenaline a high with no feeling.
Just a deep dread for the living, for I no longer have a body.
Only a lost soul, drifting towards an unseen destination.
Together in a field of grass,
We lie together, a feeling like time will never pass.
The dark sky, a blanket of stars, that ever last,
But you shine more bright,
Then all the stars in the night.
You my moon, my beacon in the dark,
Your light, a radiance so pure it fills my heart,
Truly are a work of art.
I only pray, there never comes a day,
That clouds so grey, stay and never go away.
Thoughtless silence, growing peace, gently floating on a flat sea. Staring into the dark sky watching my life play by, a movie projected on the heavens. An emptiness like no other filling a void inside my soul, like a sinking ship, a titanic. The waves of sorrow with no emotion, only the creeping cold a ghostly shiver, a rush of adrenaline a high with no feeling. Just a deep dread for the living for I no longer have a body, just a lost soul drifting towards an unseen destination.
- Alice M Lanier
A Fear of One’s Self
Will I ever truly love the person I see looking back at me in the mirror? I constantly chase a fleeting dream of achievement. A dream of personal growth, both physical and emotional. I wonder if it is real? Perhaps I am chasing a long-forgotten inkling of a begotten existence. My ideals are they just, or are they forever flawed? I get so lost, so very lost, dreams never ending, ever consuming. They bleed into every crack of my waking existence. Sometimes, I feel as though they are driving me mad! Plagued by the stinging pain of contempt, I fight to stay afloat. A Life of stagnation, of stunted growth, perpetually dragging me under. I feel trapped staring into that mirror eyes locked, unable to look away. Is it fear that keeps me there? Perhaps it’s my inability to grasp the things in which I don’t fully understand? I can only hope that one day I can move past the person who looks back upon me in the mirror.
- Alice M Lanier.