I Used To...

I used to be confident.

Not that long ago actually.

I used to love myself.

I used to love my body.

But now, that summer is here, I’m second guessing myself.

I used to have a crush that I was almost certain liked me back.

But now, they are happily in a relationship.

I used to have many close friends.

But now, they are gone.

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I try to act normal.

Like I actually am happy.

But I can’t do that forever.

One of the only things keeping me alive is my bestfriend.

The only person I can truly be myself around without being judged.

Yes, I do have other friends.

But I can live without them.

I‘m trying my hardest not to loose my bestfriend.

Just like I did everyone else.

Because if I do, I will have no idea what to do with my life.

I need my bestfriend more than she will ever understand.