you blocked it but didn’t bother to rewrite it

nothing will change

why did i bother

what was the point

so many useless hours

wasting away

being alive

this was all a mistake

why couldn't i decide

to end it that day

why did i falter

and take the wrong pill

when i could've suffered

yet end up finally dead

you stupid

fucking freak

you couldn't even do

such a simple thing

you clung

to the possibility

of escape

but hey

YOU WERE WRONG

YOU CAN'T

DO

ANY

THING

all you feel

is pain nowadays

so what's the use

of trying anyways?

you can't focus

on even

the pleasure

of peace

all wrapped up

in chaos

your negative think

how long have you tried?

four, five years?

of positive thinking?

cognitive distortions?

distress tolerance?

well im sorry

but you failed

and you'll always fail

there's no satisfying

your selfish needs

so enjoy your pain

because its all you'll get

all you'll feel

and it all that's left

of your

fucking

miserable

existence