Don’t make me choose...

If global warming is real then I'd be the asshole to blame,

Because when I eat crackers I like my cheese in a can.

Then one summer evening,

While out; I still got a tan,

In the partial sun as dusk was upon us, at the suns retreating stance.

That atmospheric layer thinner than the spread on my 

ham substitute.

I like my plastic under pressure, and colored yellow, with flavors resembling cheddar that I'm used to Puttin' on my Ritz, 

and this Crackers crackers will come with spray cheese, at the risk of an active shift in earths climates attitudes.

  The ozone being eaten by what Im eating, depleating it, causing change. Making mother nature deranged, and  'hot tempered'.

I have considered the options.

And while nations march to raise awareness of this warming globally, I think of rebelling locally, at the gas station down the street from me, with a can of spray cheese.

But I'd have to walk, and it's too far in this heat..