I used to think that

our drawer would never close

all the way

but nothing feels like it

used to.

Our memories, our moments

still bring a smile to my heart

but I can tell they have changed for you

you have closed the drawer

and it feels like I need to as well

because every time I see you

it brings things back to the surface

and those feelings and wounds are fresh

and it takes time to move past them….again

and closing the drawer becomes a little easier

But will I every be able to shut it all the way….

I have to pretend you’re dead

Because otherwise I may

Never stop the tears from falling

It feels surreal

I feel like you left

Before you ever got to the amazing part of our life

And the shitty part

Is that you talk to me like

We were just casual acquaintances

Mere friends that hung out on occasion

And it sucks

Because I planned my whole world around you

And now I’m left with nothing except

Our places, our memories, and my constant battle to forget them all

last night was one of those

nights

that made me love you a little

bit more today

than i did the day before

dancing in the kitchen

drinking red wine

laughing

talking

those are the moments

that mean the most to me

those are the nights

i hold so dear

where i can just be me

and you are just you

and it just feels right

I used to only write the hurt

Lines of sadness

Prose of pain

You changed that for me

You make me want to write about

The happiness, the moments shared

The smiles, the love

And I’d rather write those lines for eternity

Than the ones I used to write

Thank you for the moments

The crazy moments where I laughed

So hard, drank too much, and couldn’t

Remember all the fun that was had

Thank you for the moments

The serene moments of sitting,

Drinking wine, and talking about our

Past lives

Thank you for the moments

The fun moments where we’re altogether

And the kids’ smiles and laughter

Brings such happiness to my heart

Thank you for the moments

All of the moments that I get

To be with you and share with you

From the tiniest to the biggest

I cherish them all.

It doesn’t matter what we’re doing

A wild night out

Or football on the couch

The time I get to be around you

Makes me happy

It’s just easy without having to try

Feel like I’ve known you forever

You know what makes me tick

What makes me laugh

What I need and what I’m looking for

I hope that I do the same for you

This partnership….it’s everything

I never feel alone with you in my life

You are so incredible for

My soul

You make feel at peace

You make me not sweat

The small stuff

You make my soul happy….

It’s a refreshing feeling

It’s like taking a first breath

Inhaling and exhaling

Without a thought in the world

Except

Happy.

It’s taken years

To finally feel that I

Have met that person

That makes me feel safe

Makes me feel happy

Makes me feel like I can

Breathe

You are that person

You give so much and yet probably

Have no idea

I sit on your boat…look around

And think about how

you make me feel so happy

I even shed a tear but it’s because you make me so

Happy

Thank you….

It’s taken years

To finally feel that I

Have met that person

That makes me feel safe

Makes me feel happy

Makes me feel like I can

Breathe

You are that person

You give so much and yet probably

Have no idea

I sit on your boat…look around

And think about how

you make me feel so happy

I even shed a tear but it’s because you make me so

Happy

Thank you….

I thought it was what I wanted

I thought it was the chance

That i’d never have again

For that split second

It felt like it did years ago

But then I realized

We’re different

We’ve grown

We’ve changed

And that moment just doesn’t feel

The same

And for once I feel like

I have

Closure

It took 15 years

But I can finally close this chapter

Of the

Book.