The Blessing of Insignificance
I used to have anxiety about school. A lot more anxiety than the average teenager, which caused me to dread school every morning. In those months of worry and dread, I thought it would never end and that I would be forced to suffer for many more years. Since then I have taken steps to get my anxiety under control and remove myself from the traditional school setting and started feeling back in control of my education. Currently, I am feeling upset about family issues that I have no control over. And I know that. Now that I have been through a lot of worry and experience, I know this will pass and I will heal eventually. To sum this all up, I‘ve realized that worrying is the most pointless thing that a human can do in their life. I have a tiny life, an unknown name only spoken by family and around 2 friends, and a face unrecognizable by strangers, yet in the moment of worry, I always believe that that one little mistake that I make will cause the Earth to to start spinning in the other direction. Writing about it even makes me feel silly, because I go on to think about it, being an insignificant person in society is the biggest blessing that has been given to me. We all have room to mess up, we have room to be wrong, and we have the space to always be perfect. That is because, all of us normal people, don’t matter. And I don’t mean that in a sense that our lives don’t matter, but rather our decisions. I’m not the president, or senate, or any other weird part of the government, so who would care about the decisions that I make. I find comfort in that and tend to worry less about things now. :)
No Pleasure Without Peace
I don’t think that pleasure is anywhere near possible without peace. When life is hectic and peace is absent, nothing enjoyable. That’s because our brain is always worrying about the next thing that it needs to get done. We are not able to stop, slow down, take a look around and feel pleasure in the things that are right in front of us. We tend to overlook the things that let us have pleasure or push them to the side because the stressful things need to be put to rest first. I am looking for peace at the moment, because living in peace allows us to find the extra bonus that we call pleasure.