We need angels in the city.

The air is cold, the hearts are gritty.

Devil's work is ugly, but it looks pretty.

Listen to the gun shots plague the city.

The youth are all loose with a nine.

Hunger games, what a shame,

I woke up to a bang.

Guns flashing in my dreams.

Ain't no hope, ain't no safety.

The only thing we see is that these kids are

Buying up the ammo like it's free.

Mama eyes crying eternal tears,

Some things time doesn't heal.

The politicians line their pockets,

While the families miss meals.

And the teachers don't get paid enough to regulate

What isn't taking place in the confides of a

Broken home,

So every zone becomes a negative space.

I prayed today.

I don't know if it's being heard.

I don't understand why things have to be this way.

I looked closely,

God sent angels to the city.

They shot the angels up

And clipped it's wings.

It's time to burn the city.

In the ring with the king,

Call it a lion's pride to fight against

A pride of lions in a den on the

Lion's time.

I'm the lion this time.

Life could be a paradise

If you get the right pair of dice.

If not, you're on a wager minus that

Of a failed parlay.

Like every bridge that has burned is

A trophy earned for me because I don't need

A gun to kill your soul.

Lately, my phone has been ringing off the hook.

I've been ignoring everybody,

I don't owe you nothing, not even a second look.

It's no fun when my presence is missed.

It takes me going ghost for them to wake

And appreciate the gift that is the heart of one

Who tries to make amends but friends are

Hard to come by so I end up alone in the end.

This rhyming is off a bit, though I'm not happy

With the skill shown, I hope they are getting

The message.

Been backstabbed so much, I started walking

Backwards to my destination.

I show all love, but this hatred lay here adjacent.

I wanted to kill the dreams from within,

But I'm stuck in a matrix.

I shell up as a Fail-Safe.

I climb mountains as a hobby.

I out write any of your favorites.

I married Sonia in Vegas.

I keep a cross near me because I've become

Satan's favorite.

An angel with demonic ways.

One hand on a Bible,

The other on a rifle.

I have no energy for bulllshit.

You'll cry at the pulpit when the pastor

Is giving a eulogy

Because you'll all see that I put everybody

Before me and all y'all did was let me know that

I wasn't appreciated.

When I go, you can arrange a tomb.

My impact from the spiritual sense

Packs the boom from the gloom

Too subdued for a plot to cocoon.

Stayed out of jail, but probably still

My mama's biggest headache.

From heartache that we erased with

Transfusions that success had paved.

Forced to hear the tree's message through

The winds, the sands rise as the water tides

Die down at the sound of the Savior's voice.

When it comes to humans,

I was the Savior's choice.

Carried crosses for many who were self-indugled.

I stopped slashing words just to appeal to those

Who couldn't make out what I say,

To the foolish,

A wise tongue makes a bunch of noise.

Deep down, I hate the holiday scene,

When all, it ain't serene.

Can't gift from lack of Christmas trees.

When everything has a double meaning,

It's when you know I'm laser focused.

In the future, they'll think a genius wrote it.

When you want to become an asset,

But you become an inconvenience instead.

It's too cold for tears to shed,

They freeze up because my sight is too

Close proximity becoming the reason

For why my heart has bled.

Jesus wept enough.

If I look too close at the mirror,

I might just see that diamond in the roughest tuck.

I've been quiet so my silence to them

Is siren loud.

I hope you're proud

You thought I'd stay down,

And couldn't pick myself up from

The ground from all the dirt

That was thrown, all the shame

From all the times you handed me

The blame and defamed my name.

I rose up because

I serve a God who did the same.

So, it's only right that I would

Laugh at a premature grave,

And the only thing it cost me

Was giving Him the praise.

What does it mean to you to be great?

It's a thought that I can't escape.

It haunts me, Grant to Jason.

My hatred lay right here active,

Not far from love, but it's quite adjacent.

I could be further along,

But I admittedly get complacent.

Too caught up on all the times

That I invested in things that equated

To wasted time.

What are you grateful for?

You left me when I was trying my hardest

And i couldn't get my words to market.

I pour my heart on these pages for you and you.

Words mean nothing if it's never read.

I chose a path that many wouldn't stay on

After a connected jab.

I asked God to loan me peace,

Place it on my tab.

I'll pay Him back by becoming everything

That I pray to be.

Go away from this hate that's instilled in me.

Preaching peace to the masses

While in my head, I thrive in the war and chaos.

On all 10 like Mookie Blaylock.

Entrenched with sin.

Feeling unworthy of my blessings then.

Every single one of you that had a hand

In handing me a piece

Of what shapes my insecurities.

How can I forgive?

God told me if you are who you say you are,

Then you will forgive and let the love live.

So, i close a chapter

As this one begins.

Vow to never forget those who

Stood up with him.

Sometimes, I'm a hypocrite.

I'm tapped in, while being disconnected.

I think about my family all the time,

But i remain quiet.

Torn apart, holidays don't hit the same.

Hear Mary call my name.

Still trying to fill Robert's shoes and pants.

What have I done?

I allowed the hate to drive you all away.

Myself, is who I can't escape.

Can't tell whether this is a test

Or if it's punishment.

Now I go back to my shell,

Safe from garnishment.

In the spiritual I can see the hoard of bullets.

I can count on one hand who stood in front of it.

All lies, all lies. All I hear is lies.

Heartbreak, heartbreak.

All I feel is pain.

God told me to forgive anyway,

And just love the same.

So, tell me do you blame me

For being this way?

Can't be the hero to a bunch of ingrates.

You are all liars but i am tasked

With loving you anyway...

#WeAreUrijah

I woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

Adjacent lays my hopes and dreams, nightmares and tears from all the trauma my heart has bled.

I don't want to speak, so I ain't answering the texts. I saw your phone call, I just don't have

The care to accept.

Brushing my teeth, staring into a mirror at

A person I don't recognize today.

Maybe if I hop back between my sheets,

Tomorrow will warp me into a time line

Where I'm feeling better that day.

Why does the shower feel like thorns

Attacking my spine, for every word that I rhyme, Another octave on the headache

Climbs to a crescendo.

I scroll through social to get away then run into more drama than I bargained for.

Damn, let us pray.

The news is bringing the bullshit,

The IQ of the haters declined and

Touched on hell's gates.

As I compare my sins to the rapists, the murderers, And the folks who wake up with

The intentions of harming others for play.

If they weigh this much at Heaven's gaze,

That I have to suffer every day mentally until my

Dying date.

When words can’t fill the captions

On the screen, I scream to the Heavens

That I’d like to flee.

If this is all that life has for me,

Then could you please be so kind as to

Alleviate the burdens of walking

This world for me.

I see the grass is green in my neighbor’s yard, not knowing what gruesome scenes

They had to partake in;

Look for God to intervene.

Intrinsic motivation doesn’t exist

When you’re pumping out work seemingly

For no rewards and all risks.

This struggle is ongoing,

Rain seems to pour forever like the

H.A.A.R.P. machine malfunctioned

And by accident made Helene then doubled

Back as a new identity, and many

Can’t flee the scene.

I’m sorry, I’m all out of prayers.

The words aren’t connecting to the clouds

When it’s pouring down.

I’m drowning out to sea,

Would swim to shore but I never learned to

Swim amongst the sharks in boiling waters. Remembering all the things I want to be.

So the more I dream, the more reality

Becomes a nightmare for the American

With no need for a wrestling ring.

I polished this old rusty crown they

Handed me and broke it with a hammer

Because I’ve been branded something

I can’t live up to being.

Immortalized by the scribes in my mind.

My stoicism belies my loving nature

And when you first saw me, you probably

Had a notion about how I was defined.

You are everywhere all at once,

All the time.

You're many characters in my stories

With different names, different glories.

The reason for my poems, the reason for my rhymes.

Every single thought that I transcribe of you

Gets put on a piece paper so you can be immortalized.

My prayers, my wishes, my hopes, and my dreams.

All of the ideas that I threw away and shredded at the seams.

The scenes about me and you seem seemless

When I pen the fairytale of our lives with an eye's gleam.

To be loved by a poet is serene.

Because you're the main character in every book, defined by a penmanship that is motivated by a love never before seen.

I can't help but to draw sunshines with these words.

When you are the subject, every noun, every verb.

Look at you, a goddess.

I have been tested in many ways but remained heartless.

Your aura sends shockwaves through my atmosphere.

Your heart plays the instrumentals of my favorite song.

Where do we belong? Instructions given, but unclear.

I string along these notes to denote

That everything before you has been demoted.

Sit down, listen to the waves of our love

Radiate through the airwaves, I don't need air

Because when you're around, I'm as high as a dove.

You're intoxicating my emotions, I must beware.

How I've fallen so hard for you without a parachute.

Life doesn't make much sense without you.

I was asked to describe you and I didn't have a clue.

How do you describe perfection?

How do you describe a dream come true?

When every waking moment is a thought of you.

A smile that replaces the effects of the sun's gleam.

So beautiful, so graceful, so serene.

You're a blessing directly from Heaven's scene.

You lied to me.

You told me that you weren't special.

But you are everything I could ever want or need.

You are so beyond words. You, I don't deserve.

But I have tears in my eyes just knowing

That an angel has been placed in my world.

And for their next trick, call it the disappearance act.

The room becomes empty before I can even react.

I never told you that was my last, but when I gave it

I was glad.

Until it's time to pay the piper,

Then I'm sick from the incisor bites from the viper.

Prisoner to my mission, speaking from battered intuitions.

Writing with no purpose; cursed with a mind that lurks

Beneath the surface of the earth while being unburned

So my mental state resides in a recycled turbulence.

Slip into a drive-by depression like my

Motivations for ever wanting to live are regressing.

Can't find the inspiration.

Life is all about introspection.

My headaches cross ways with my stress at the intersection

Of love and hate.

Bills pile up along with this exhaustion that I can't escape.

Spend most of my days with my headphones on,

Zoned out, ignoring texts and calls that emerge from my phone.

Why do I even attempt to speak logic

When stupidity is brolic?

Frolic in poisonous flowers and paint the hearts violet.

I choose violence when I speak the truth.

Between me and you, I was only keeping up a wall

Because I don't trust any of you.

I lost my grandpa before I made something of myself.

Said I'd not make that mistake with my grandma

And I'm not sure if I did or not,

But last year was the end of that journey.

Back to back, lost my dad after that.

So now I'm here plotting, trying to figure out

How to retire my mom and make a million out of a dollar.

Corporate or blue collar, can't call it.

I'm not sure I'm all in, but I know every lecture that I'm involved in

Kills my passion for this writing shit.

Lifeline, can I dial in?

Hey God, it's your boy again.

I'm currently just going with the wind.

No, I'm not emotionless.

Just smarter about who I share them with.

Deep down. I may be chasing something that doesn't exist.

I may be the last one who operates within nirvana

On his hopeful stride to Arcadia.

Haley's comet passed by so I could make a wish.

I simply wish that I could think of a better wish.

Something more selfish because the world

Doesn't deserve a hug or a kiss,

Saw them kill a kid, rape a woman, and beat a man to death,

Watched them threaten my life, wave a gun in my face

When I was simply existing.

Saw them take the food away from the poor

Just to watch them kill each other for scraps.

Saw them tell us that we can't pray; there is no church in this wild.

And have them divide us by race like we could choose as a child.

Made the women believe that all men ain't shit.

And the ones you do get, you're just looking for rich.

Saw too many evil things in my dreams as the world

Falls apart at the seams.

Burning buildings, diseases with no vaccines.

Having humans test artificial intelligence just to replace human beings.

#WeAreUrijah

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In a Texas tornado match without a tag partner.

Handicapped by my own unselfishness.

Blowing with the winds of change, deranged to think

I’m sane after everything I’ve overcame.

Play the game. Write down expressions but never exaggerate—

Also never elaborate.

Uno, solo dolo..Marco without a polo.

If ever hesitant to take a chance,

Just turn the clock back and yell YOLO.

Why not though? Everything is a lie and it’s right beneath your nose.

I suppose if you ask the U.N. the same questions,

You’ll get a list of all the souls they’ve sold.

Crap shot, shoot the Darien Gap, watch the structure collapse.

Commit treason for an underhanded reason.

Take the sovereignty away by the region.

Control gone.

No one wants to read and wake up.

So it’s not the blind leading the blind, it’s the blind

Breeding the blind because

Everybody who encompasses the theory of relativity

In such a way of connecting the

Dots to what I’m saying is either not large enough in numbers

Or already dead.

I still offered my assistance and care to those who left me on read.

Still gave away my last when I didn't have anything left but a piece of bread.

While everybody sits back arguing over who’s better between Clark and Reese.

While everybody fights over pigment like a color of skin makes any difference

Of the struggles we’re in.

They’re burning down the current structure to make way for

Building blocks and chains to create a problem you won’t have an answer to.

But guess who does?

#WeAreUrijah