10
sometimes i imagine running into you -
weirdly I'm with Will and his friends on Hudson.
I catch your eye across the street and stop
waving with ridiculous enthusiasm.
you're with a woman by the PATH.
I ask them for three minutes
otherwise it becomes a rescue mission.
I run across the street you with
a look of apprehension
maybe dread.
I introduce myself to her
kelsey katie keltey
We hug while she looks at you -
I shrug "sorry we used to be best friends"
I look you in the eye and ask
"how are you
are you doing ok"
you say nothing.
I say nothing back.
you always read my mind
"I'd love to hear about it sometime"
I say with all of my teeth
"cafe dolma?
well K______ it was lovely to meet you.
******."
I cross the street before looking.
horns yell and I walk at no faster pace.
no one look at me please
"what the hell **** who was that"
"oh him? just the only man i've ever loved.
please don't make it a big deal."
I'm safe on the other curb.
9
would you like hot sauce
the man asks me
i've ordered the pesto fusilli.
he's asked the same to the salmon
and steak frites next to me.
this is a walking town you say -
full of cars and purchased superiority.
a small town of so called
sophisticates
where men watch me open my mouth to eat.
where can i get a morning cocktail?
8
may your days
be filled with fresh grapefruit juice
and sweating hot tub laughs
gravel dives for an escaped dog
bunny coffee runs
and a cigarette in the outdoor shower.
may your days
be an early spring marsh sunburn
ignored outlook notifications
and white bean salad stirred with shared hands.
tears in a nail salon
over a friend’s forgotten book
and a screen door scaring all in the night.
just scooping salsa like soup
in a familiar silence.
7
i may never see you again
but if you die today
i'm taking a train
to your loud twin bed
to roll in the sheets
of your brothers bed
which you prefer
ill walk in sheep meadow
and take your place
screaming to the woods
i wont forgive you for the words
you did not say
or the texts i sent
saying i'll never love the same
please don't die.