“I miss you”

As the words run rampant in my mind

I was met with emotion

The kind that leaves you breathless

The sort that changes you

For I knew what those words meant

My brain all too happy to remind me

Of the love

The compassion

The dedication towards him

That I’ve given so freely

And yet,

Another part of me screamed it to be false

That those words were not true

That my feelings were for not

That he was only desperate

He didn’t love me like I him

I was convenient

There

But,

Even as those thoughts came

My own resolve strengthened

I found the strength

The courage

To whisper

“I miss you too”

foot got stuck,

ran out of luck.

Can’t get it free—

from the crooked tree.

Owls ‘r’ hooting,

fog (busy) swirling-

It’s got me!

How can this be?

I should have thought

of not taking a late trot.

adieu

(pulled underground)

to you

(right into the mound)

#midnight

Some people fear drowning, while others fear death itself. Some have phobias of spiders, and others have phobias that don't even make much sense. I however, fear being alone. It's the thoughts that grip me when the silence creeps in.

I've always considered my mind like an am radio station with no off button. Sometimes it's static, but for the most part my mind is just an endless chatter box. Some of these thoughts productive, and some are even positive. However, 90% of my thoughts are negative. It's the same for every person.

Other people are distractions that feed my soul and keep my mind busy, yet, when alone, my mind races on. Who am I? What happens after I die? Why am I here? What's my purpose? These are the thoughts that race through my mind when i'm alone.

I'll often spend nights awake, ruminating on the topic of death. Where will I go? Does it even matter? How will I make my life worthwhile? Does that even matter? These are the thoughts that race through my mind when i'm alone.

Being alone is like confronting a mirror, and on the other side of that mirror is yourself, your true Self. Your desires, ambitions and goals, but also, your fears, regrets and grievances. Being alone forces you to confront all the things which we spend our days running away from.

One who can embrace loneliness, someone who can truly embrace the silence; that's the person I admire the most, for that is the person who knows and believes in himself. The person who can value their decisions, beliefs and values.

#desires #trueself #soul #purpose #life #positivity #productivity #mind #mindfulness