Tragic reality struck with the news, and conflict brewed with bastardy bravado between the two; one an advocate of living blissfully ignorant, the other insistent on a proactive diagnosis. Either choice I make will disappoint one of them, and with love enough for both in full, it wasn't an easy choice to make.

Before I could tell them which way I was leaning, I had to make it clear the decision was for me. That I respect their experiences and how the two different paths served each of them well, but instill the reminder that I'm my own person. What worked for them, what eased their hearts and mind wouldn't necessarily ease mine. I needed to think about it, for myself, not for them.

The deciding factor for me, was in the lack of trust in the healthcare construct, the Big-Pharma Corporations just trying to make a buck. No matter how much I might want to prolong my life and minimize my suffering, I couldn't rationalize spending a single dollar to any such institution. So I decided, I'd only seek help, to get a diagnosis, if the Physician was independent and not in it for profit.

I split hairs to tell them I'd be walking the two paths on parallel, ready to switch tracks any time I needed, even if it meant having to veer through the rough to get to the other line. I don't condone blissful ignorance, but nor do I support the money magnet of cancer research and subsequent battles. Not when I know through research, that a cure was found, in the 1930's; destroyed and buried with the man who eventually drank himself to death with an alcohol-painkiller cocktail.  

| another_proser |

P.S. Royal Raymond Rife, is the man who used frequencies/light to cure cancer in 100% of his test subjects back in 1930; starting with rats he induced tumors in, and concluding with human trials. Feel free to do your own research!

Fate is something I believe strongly in. If there is something going on in the family, I'll worry about myself when I feel like there's some need for alarm. I'm not going to go off the deep end and start freaking g out and getting anxious and sad if I feel no different. I come from a family of procrastinators (the worst kind of cancerous disease), so action is furthermore something I can avoid easily. Unless I start feeling terrible, I'll let nature do what it does best. Medication and chemo are not options for me, anyway. I don't tend to follow orders, and I certainly don't simply take someone's word for it. I need physical proof for some ailment to prevent me from living my life the way I'd like to. I'll live my life for as long as I'm naturally able.