It's harder to say goodbye
Because what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're OK?
And saying that bad things happen for a reason,
will not stop the bleeding.
Because you moved on while I'm still grieving.
And my heart is breaking because you never said you were leaving.
Every time I reach for you, it takes a minute to dawn,
that you are truly gone.
Every time I remember,
all those nights in September
I fall apart in time with the seasons,
trying to battle my guilt demons
because I never got to say goodbye before you died.
you learn to burn farewells like photographs
because closure cannot be found in words
whispered over forsaken ground to deaf bones;
and when the shadows creep into your what ifs,
you find the nights are easier
when you give your demons names--
they will be kinder to you
than all the words you never said.
it is only when the lid closes
to never be lifted again
and suddenly you can’t remember their face,
that you learn there is no such thing as goodbyes,
and every time it rains
you tie your shoes a little tighter
and walk a little faster
because someday the ground will claim you, too.
Goodbye forever? Never!
I saw you
my heart filled
shining in my eyes
reflected in your smile
hello was easy
I love you
falling in love
left no room
would cease to be
a road not taken
the final exit
don't let go
stay with me
we yet smile
in a quiet room with beige walls
a girl kneels by a woman’s bed
with crinkled brown skin and wispy white hair
fragile as an autumn leaf
wrinkled and weary from a season now past
softly swaddled in hospital sheets
her skin soft and rosy with youth
and tracked with tearstains
they sat here together
as the girl wept
her head bent and shoulders trembling
hunched under the agonizing appreciation
of time’s ever-persistent march
she crumbles here, beside the bedframe
trembling with grief
in this beige room
a wizened, knobbly hand reaches
and grasps hers
the woman shakes with the frailty of age
but her grip is strong and steadfast
she pulls the girl close to her chest
and murmurs into her hair
the girl understands
not the words, but the meaning
the woman holds her here
until the girl’s tears slow
she holds tight to the woman’s shrivelled hand
and she knows her skin will too be crumpled
under the weight of a lifetime
but at this moment, she rests
held chest to chest with the woman
breathing in pace
with one another.
the leaving gets easy after a while.
always for the same reason,
a broken record filled with
scratches and scrapes.
but the hellos,
they're all different.
walking up to a stranger,
a closed soul,
and struggling to find
in a place where there aren't
is nearly impossible.
surviving the silence
and beginning a story
afterwards makes it
Goodbye or hello
They are some of the hardest words
youll ever say
but also the easiest
goodbyes are just
hellos in disguise
that I want to see you again
a goodbye is never truly forever
for the memories of all those
the first hello is the hardest to say
but the last goodbye
is more heartwrenching
so when you say goodbye
you should say instead
I will see you again
maybe not in this life
maybe not today
but I will see you again
Hellos are easy .
Who are you ?
What you're getting yourself into ,
You will never know .
Are they two-faced ?
Will they hurt you ?
Hellos get easier once ,
you get the basic expressions .
Mouth , pull it's corners up gently ,
Cheeks , their muscles contracted .
They should move upwards .
Eyes , slightly closed .
That's a base for a smile .
Their mind , a minefield of thoughts ,
an arcade for dreams .
But who are you to judge them ?
All you did was say hello .
Goodbyes on the other hand ,
are the worst feeling ,
possible , imaginable .
You are saying goodbye ,
to someone you know ,
someone you knew .
To say goodbye ,
You burn a part of yourself ,
memories , be it scars .
You learn how to react to each goodbye ,
how to recieve ,
and how to give it .
I found it be easier ,
to hate someone as you let them go .
It's like an excuse .
" I hated them because _ , therefore I can let them go without guilt . "
It's something like telling yourself ,
" No , this wasn't the person I knew . "
when all the while you were the one who changed ,
as everyone stayed the same . . .
Hellos take practise ,
Goodbyes , experience .
I don't know how to explain this but ,
hellos are easy , because said person is unknown .
goodbyes are easy , when you make them unknown .
Dazed & Confused
When a relationship has ended, & you're hurting but you know there's no going back, why is it that you tend to idealize all the good times. You push back all the pain and anguish that your partner caused you and dwell on what you did wrong, making you feel inadaquate and you see your ex-lover as some kind of golden person. They don't want you anymore; so you must be the bad person. Is time the only thing that will let the truth come to you, make you realize that it took 2..... it just ends in 1.
I don't want to remember the things he took forgranted, because I know I took alot forgranted also. I don't want to remember his lies because I too lied, but not as often. Just because I admitted to mine never made HIS go away. It takes a big man to admit when they are wrong....& there aren't many out there that do. It broke my heart when I realized he wasn't one of them. Most just get madder at you as they explain & turn the conversation around to something that you did wrong.
"All the things you did behind my back"....he said....
I guess I'm so stupid I wasn't suppossed to see what he did behind my back. Or did he really think he was so perfect he didn't make mistakes?
In reality...I shouldn't expect the truth from someone who lies especially to themselves.
Things never spoke of....things that I KNOW. I could have accepted. Denial just closed more doors making the end inevitable.
I'm sorry, I'm dwelling....seems the only way I can make myself realize he wasn't the 1.
But it doesn't ease my pain.
When I met him...it was fanatical that first night! He made me laugh away all the trouble we had gotten into with his van breaking down & me just turning 20 away from home, stuck overnight (we had to sleep in the van!)
We would have died for each other back then.
Now different homes, different attitudes, different lives.
Built out of the ashes we left behind....talking...but never about the past except for saying I'm sorry.
Ashes aren't really good life material, if ya know what I mean.
& now I know just how much it cost me.
flowers always die in the end
when you first say hello you don't know what you're getting yourself into,
but relationships blossom with time, and ours did,
i can scroll through pictures of days filled with laughter, sunshine, and smiles,
i can open my messages and be reminded of the late night conversations about anything and everything,
i want it back, i want it back, i want it back,
even the sad days were better than the ones without you,
i kind of knew i was saying goodbye the last time we met, but didn't expect it to last an eternity,
but now we're drifting away, and becoming what we once were, strangers
never have i known a more bittersweet cycle,
of loving someone, and losing them to time, to life,
-we weren't meant to last forever, but i wish we did