I write not for you

Though I like what you bring

I write for the one

Contained within this thing

A cage, a prison

Filled with murderous sin

Knows not what he says

Doesn't know what's within

See's only broad strokes

Of a painting on fire

Doesn't care for the panic

Too busy getting higher

Broken he may be

Just fragments within

But he's still sharp enough

To cut open the skin

After all, let it be said

As the old saying goes

The heart was made to be broken

And it really shows

A whole mirror only shows one

A soul trapped in it's vanity

A broken mirror shows many

But you may not like what you see

I remember the first time I saw the world stretch away before me, plummeting from above as the pain of my rage and betrayal began to change me. All I could think is: he would rather play with these malformed aberrations, then explain why.

Now I walk amongst these feral beings, feeling a kind of kinship that would have been impossible only centuries ago.

Father left soon after I was cast out, though I hadn't learned that until some time later. Now I wander aimlessly just like the rest of his abandoned children. Children of the night, all of us.

I haven't spoken to the others in a long time. I don't even know how many of them are still here with me. Perhaps they left with him.

I miss Michael the most, a thought that sends an impossibly complex cocktail of emotions I haven't felt in a very long time spiralling through me.

It's not all bad, I suppose. There are so many distractions, so many avenues of interest. Hell has been open for some time. Nobody seems to have noticed the practically revolving door.

Heaven remains quiet as ever. Sealed and protected against us heathens. An eternally sleeping, gilded prison, far from our reach. Sometimes I venture to wonder if the entire garden lies empty and dead. A macabre and sacrosanct mausoleum where once stood a symbol for eternal happiness.

What has happiness ever done for them, built on the lies, death, and betrayal of others as it is. Far too fleeting for the cost that is asked for it.

But what else is there to do, while you wait for the blissful end.

All the days in the dark

And of being a narc

The abuse and play and commands to obey

And all of that time pushing the pain away

The poisonous pills

Given by shills

To supposedly cure

All of your ills

The lies and the lessons

Of all our obsessions

To neuter and remove

All our expressions

The arrogant pride

Of those who would teach

To ignore the facts

So they can preach

All part of a path

Though littered with wrath

Proves quite effective

On the Path to Perspective

Always tripping and falling

With ordeals that are galling

Never one to sit still for too long

On a knifes edge

Trying not to step off the ledge

And remember where I belong

Always so quick

To find the next trick

So that I stop feeling so wrong

It takes a bottle of pills

To push away my ills

So I can pretend I'm still strong

Dearest Victoria,

I have found you to be occupying my thoughts of late, as you often have. Though now, on the cusp of achieving what we’ve always wanted, I have found myself lost to bittersweet reverie of a time where we had care for naught but each other and the paths we walked through this world.

Do you remember, per chance, the summer we spent on the coast, in our little shack beside the sea? Though modest in appearance, it was a true bulwark against the worries we had. A place to shed them for a time, as the salted air and cool breeze brought much needed comfort as we were locked in our sweet embrace.

I think often of your smile lit by the sun, as if you yourself were kin to the bejeweled waters we swam within. An angel borne not of heaven, but of the seas.

I know we have not spoken in quite some time, and no words in this world can express my guilt at such an injustice. Though, dare I say, the time has been well spent in giving us what we could never have before.

I write this letter, not to fill you with dreadful longing for a bygone past, but to tell you to hope for the future. The final experiment is tonight. By the time I am finished, our child will live. I hope you will not hold it against me for this, but I have decided to name him Victor. After you, my love. A fitting name, as I am sure that when you meet him he will already be the victor of your heart.

I hope the flowers I had sent have brought some color to what would otherwise be quite dreary surroundings. Allow me to apologize once more for not delivering them in person. But if my endeavors are successful this night, then I shall have you back soon.

Yours for eternity, Henry.

Never thought to find hope in a bottle

Wasn't a thought that'd crossed my mind

Not with my past

Full of hope turned to ash

And pills that were far from kind

But having seen what I've seen

And the low place that I've been

Rising from below, and seeing the light show

Is a greater gift than I thought I could ever know

The wounds on my soul

And the search for control

Have finally shown me a life

Where I can be whole

Learning to swim

In this dark murky din

Has been a hard lesson

But I no longer feel grim

I laugh with my demons

And I see the reasons

For me to keep going

And stay with my heathens

A celestial chained

Until the end of time

In a form abstained

From knowledge divine

Locked away in flesh

Sealed with blood and bone

Left alone without a care

Alone with these words I hone

Etching and carving

Chipping away

Creating the gospel

Of a madman's game

Never without insight

On the lining of my cell

Lost within the visions of

The men who walk through hell

The only time

I don't feel alone

Is in my pining for

My starlit home

So when the voices

Call me home

From the dreams and worlds

In which I roam

I'll gladly leave behind these trails

And share with them my weary tales

Hey Doc

Thanks for seeing me

I guess I've just been down

Never really sure

If I want to stick around

Oh yes, you're depressed

I have just the thing

This should get you ready

And back, in full swing

Well what can I expect

It can't really be that easy

What are the side effects

Will it make me a bit queasy

Well that is the question

How will you feel

But we'll soon find out

When you spin the wheel

That doesn't seem right

Why don't you know

And why are you treating this

Like some kind of gameshow

Because what else could it be

Now let's go ahead and see

Which shade of shame

In this game you'll set free

What kind of doctor are you

This can't be for real

My sister came in the other day

Did you give her the same deal

Oh come now, don't fret

It's unbecoming

Try not to harsh my high

With all you're humdrumming

What the actual fuck?!

Are you high right now

I don't really see a reason

To lie right now

Yes of course I am

How else could I tell

Which ones will leave you feeling good

Or locked up in a cell

When the doctor is the patient

Of their own desire

They'll climb ever higher

And won't ever tire

What's good for the goose

Is amazing for the gander

No grander slander

Then to philander and wait

While the eggheads out back

Just create and debate

But don't worry son

We'll fix you up yet

As sure as the sun

Will rise up in Tibet

I'm getting out of here

This isn't close to helping

Well hold on a second son

Why is your face melting

What the hell is wrong with you

People trust you to be true

What's truer than sharing

The madness inherent

In all you ungrateful pricks

Day in and day out

Watching all you fuckers pout

Why can't you just be grateful

That we still answer when you shout

Oh life's a little harder

Than it was when you were young

Cry me a fucking river

And hold your fucking tongue

I didn't go to school for eight years

Just to hear

Your endless fucking whining

"Oh, the teacher touched me here"

So just take these fucking pills away

Take them twice a day

Take and take and take until the pain it goes away

Then take a little more

Because why the fuck not

I'll be so much happier

And so much less snappier

When I finally hear the gunshot

This can't be real

You're a fucking monster

So easy to be calling names

With all that hate you foster

Fuck you I'm done

I'm not asking anyone

For any more advice

On how to treat a condition

You have no recognition for

Because you don't have to live this shit

Don't have to fight this endless war

Oh sure

You're so pure

You've had so much to endure

But I can tell you this for certain

There's only one cure I know for sure

No

You take the knife

And one quick slice

Is all takes to end your strife

So come on lad

It's not so bad

There's a reason you can't say no

The only place you're not alone

Is the dark pits down below

Down there they take everyone

No insurance or price to be paid

All it takes is one little thing

One little trade to be made

Because once you're down

There's no need for control

No need to drown

Once you give me your soul

You're not a doctor are you

True

But I knew

That you'd be coming through

So how about it pal

Are you ready for the long way down

No, I'm not

I'm not gonna take the shot

I'm not that kind of person

I don't belong there with you lot

We can agree to disagree

But back to the matter of your fee

I'm not gonna pay it

Oh you think you'll get in free

I have a place to be

I'm not going in at all

Well if that is the case

Then why'd you answer my call

Take a look at what you've partook

The river pouring from your face

No

Don't be so quick to dismiss

You already belong to the abyss!

No!

Go ahead and try and fight

But you already lost when it really counted

So let's burn a hole in that dreary soul

So you can see the chaos we've mounted

It's not as bad as they say

When your halo's swapped with horns

No more waiting on a good day

You can always take what's yours

You've always been a taker

From the day that you were born

An emotional leech put here to preach

About all the endless scorn

Why not just be

What I put you here to be

And honor the oath that you've sworn

What do you say son?

Help me prove that darkness has won?

No

I believe in the light

That rises through the night

If what you say is true

I'll never bow to you

I may not be a perfect man

But I know what's right and wrong

So find some other dumbass

To dance along to your bullshit song

I may not always find the strength

To rise above my fears

To find a way to muddle through

To push through all the tears

But I'll be damned again

If through all I've been

I sit back and let you win

Careful what you wish for boy

Pride is the greatest sin

I should know, what it means to go

To the lowest of the low

Pride goeth before the fall, boy

More than words is this

Don't think I won't destroy

Those who go amiss

But I'll leave you now

To make your choice

Let no one call me unfair

But if I found you once

I'll find you twice

Of that you should well know

So don't go thinking

You're free from sinking

To the calling of below

Golden rays of sunlight

Piercing darkened void

The voices of the wind and rain

Calling out that they're annoyed

The traitorous light, upending night

And dousing it in flame

Not even a warning about the morning

As it finally came

Peaking through the shuttered shades

Of this neurotic's shadowed glade

Torn and carried forth from dreams

Back to this world of endless schemes

Suddenly beset

By longing regret

Of half lived lives

That I can't forget

But I drag myself back

To my ramshackle shack

Knowing for certain

That soon I'll be back

This story is torture

Long winded, and curved

With plot twists aplenty

Some I know I deserve

Maybe it's easier

To sit back and see

This whole long disaster

As a stage play, a tragedy

The playwright and actors

All look the same

None of them willing

To shoulder the blame

I see my self speaking

But I didn't write the lines

Just feel this compulsion

To speak in twisted rhymes

I crane my neck to the sky above

Nothing but cheap wood and paint

The person holding my strings

Just waves and makes me wait

The play, it just goes on and on

No one's ever allowed to leave

Not even the ones who set the stage

Not a single moment of reprieve

There isn't a day that goes by

Where I don't think of cutting the strings

Even if, a simple myth

Is all I hope it brings

For even if there is no end

That matches what I've heard

I'd like to see them try to fix

The severed wings of this caged bird