My friend’s dog is roaming around the room. Standing at the door moving to the bed, just moving. She has so much energy and I know she’s a puppy but damn. She jumps up again and grabs a toy to mangle. She’s destroyed so many toys it’s unreal. This toy is a Christmas elf head that has a squeaker in the head and the bottom is a rope loop. She has really messed up the rope part, but that’s fine. It’s her toy and it’s meant to be used and abused. It makes me happy that she’s happy and that she’s able to do what she wants within reason.

Oh, she’s started squeaking the toy again. It’s one of the few squeaky toys she’s had that she hasn’t destroyed the squeaker in. She’s a nice pup when she’s not acting up and being a total asshole. She’s curled up on the end of the bed now and I think she’s decided to relax for a bit. She’s a fun pup and I’m glad she’s here’s

My chest hurts sometimes when I think about the two of us hanging out together

But

For some reason

That makes me want to hang out with you more

You make me feel nervous

But

For some reason

That makes me want to hang out with you more

The feeling of your body next to mine

As we watch various shows on Netflix and show each other our interests

Makes me feel safe

The feeling of your lips on mine

Makes my heart race

And my chest tighten

As the nerves of everything sets in

Despite all these conflicting feelings

I still want to hang out with you

And honestly

I’m confused

I’ve never done this before

I don’t know what I’m doing

Yet I keep wanting to hang out with you

And got get to know you better

Is that strange?

People

Noise

Loud

Scared

Too many

Too too many

Need help

Can't breathe

Tears

Fight or flight

Can't find help

Panic

Too many

Too much

Must leave

Leave

Need quiet

Anxiety

Panic

Too many

Stressed

Can't do this

Why am I here

Ah

Need space

Need to be alone

Distraction

Music

Too many people

Way too many

Why am I here

Flight or flight

No fight

Can't fight

Panic

Stress

Anxiety

Please don't make me

Not overreacting

Helpless

Sleep provides escape. When we sleep we end our day and go into a world of dreams and nightmares. Even though nightmares bring terrors to life, we sometimes prefer them to the world we are forced to encounter. People never expect their sleep to be invaded or interrupted. Thing is, when it does happen, it is usually from some outside source. When this happens people become irritable. It never happens en mass and it never results in death. Whenever this happens, the people around them hear pained screams in the middle of the night. They are horrible, guttural screams. Once the screaming starts and the blood begins to flow there is nothing we can do to save them. There is no warning. Just screams then death. Government officials go to the houses as soon as they can to clean up the mess and to console the ones traumatized by what happened. I've taken up the yoke of telling the families what happened, to our knowledge at least. I tell them we haven't pinpointed what exactly causes this, but what we do know is that it's not human. The people I tell have different reactions. Some people just sob, begging for some explanation. Others scream, demanding an explanation. Others react violently. I've received a couple black eyes and broken noses because of this. Most people scream how they came to this planet for freedom and peace, yet they have been met by terror. I've become desensitized to it all. When I firsts began this, the contoured faces and thick scent of blood made me sick. It made me think of how much pain they must have gone through before their death. Now, everything is just...normal. It still hurts to see how these families are torn apart by this thing. I honestly wish there was more I could do. I can't save anyone. I can't track whatever the he'll this is. I can't find a way to combat it. All I can do is talk. Offer counselling. Offer a place to cry. Most of the time they take me up on my offer. They let their feelings out and grieve. Others curse me and the government and proceed to grieve on their own. The things I've become accustomed to have started haunting my dreams. The contorted faces of the dead. The black faces of the grieving. Seas of blood. I wake up in a cold sweat usually. Around this time I usually get a call of another victim. I hurriedly get ready and head out. I head to wherever I'm needed and offer counseling. This has become my daily routine. Coffee has become my friend, keeping me awake during these long days. The days have begun to blend together. No new developments. My voice sounds like a broken record as I recite the same generic message to the families. The future seems bleak. So many dead, so many that will possibly die. We desperately need hope, but it seems we left it all back on Earth. If you read this...

Send

Help

Please

The magic around the two of you dissipates. Vivienne's face falls and you ask Gee what's wrong.

"You're gonna wanna ask Markus that..." Vivienne says quietly, "and I'm so so sorry."

Gee nods and the three of you head back into the main building.

~

You walk into Markus' room and see him sitting at his desk, his shoulders slumped. He turns to you after Vivienne shuts the door.

"I know we've only known each other for a short time, but, um, things have taken a turn for the worse..." Markus says

You hesitantly ask what he means.

"The Great Mage was tending to the King when a masked Mage appeared in the room. The Great Mage protect the King, but during the confrontation he manages to get close enough to plunge a poisoned dagger into her heart. By the time people tried to help it was too late. Her last words were, reportedly, that everyone should put their trust in you now. Her funeral is planned for a week from now," Markus responds.

You stare at Markus in disbelief and feel tears well up in your eyes. You feel Vivienne put a comforting hand on your shoulder. You ask Markus if there's any way he can provide you safe passage to return to the castle. He nods.

"Gee will escort you back tomorrow. It's getting late. Go rest up," Markus says.

You nod numbly and leave the room, Vivienne on your heels.

~

The next day you and Gee are using some of the Order's horses to return to the castle. The both of you have remained quiet through the portion of the journey you've taken, but something seems to have Gee on edge. You ask her what the problem is.

Gee sighs, "Everything feels too quiet."

You ask her what she means by that, but she just continues on it silence. You reach the gates of the castle city where you are stopped by the guards.

"What brings you...oh you've returned. We heard about your body guard's betrayal and then they death of the Great Mage. The Queen would like to see you. Go on, your mercenary can follow up until the castle," one of the guards says.

The gates open the gates and you and Gee enter the somber city. The usually bustling city is devoid of everything. Shops are closed and people have stayed in their homes to mourn the Great Mage. The ride up to the castle is a short one and Gee says her goodbye. You get off the horse and watch Gee leave. The guards at the castle entrance show you up to the queen's room. You see the queen staring out a window. Her greying hair is pulled into a simple braid and she wears all black. She turns to you as soon as you enter the room. She stands up and walks over to you. She embraces you.

"I am so sorry we couldn't save her," she whispers in your ear.

You feel tears fall from your face and embrace the queen back. You ask her what the both of you are going to do. She breaks off the embrace and holds your shoulders.

"We are going to hold her funeral and then find who killed her and bring her soul justice," the queen says.

You nod. You say you will do everything in your power to help.

"Now, you must go to your study and learn how to help the king, his illness has yet to go away."

You nod and leave her chambers.

(Lol hey guys I'm alive and here to write more for the Nightingale series. And hopefully more. Hope you guys enjoy this installment! Also side note for later on in this part: in the universe I've created magic can be done without a conduit [like without a wand or stave/staff] but with one the magic is able to be performed on a larger scale and more powerful and the person casting it has more control. Anyways enjoy!)

"So how is it being the apprentice to the big ol' great Mage? Like what does she teach you? Is it fun? Or does he talk like my old teacher and just goes on and on and on and on?" Vivienne asks excitedly as she leads you somewhere.

You laugh and let her know the Mage is a great woman. You explain how her lessons are always exciting, especially considering how you've always loved magic. Every lesson you received from her was exciting and made you excited to take on her role. You tell her how the Mage felt like the mother you had always dreamed of. Your face falls after you say that and you go quiet.

Vivienne stops and turns to you.

"Is everything...alright? Did I touch a sensitive topic? Ohmygosh I'm sorry!" Vivienne exclaims

You shake your head and tell her it's alright. You tell her how you grew up in an orphanage in the capital city. You had friends and the people who ran the orphanage were nice, but you never had a proper family. Then when you began practicing magic and excelled beyond everyone's expectations is when you became the Mage's apprentice. You smile as you tell her how the Mage gave you the sense of family. You tell Vivienne not to worry too much as it's all in the past now.

Vivienne nods and sighs.

She smiles, "Anyways, c'mon let's get to practicing!"

~

Vivienne leads you to a building that resembles a green house. Inside there are plants, however there appears to be a mage's study shoved in as well. Bookshelves, a desk, and various other magic necessities are scattered throughout the building. You laugh at the site before you, having always studied in dusty libraries and high towers. Vivienne turns to you and smiles.

"What?" She asks, "I love natural magic so this seemed like the best course of action. Gee and Markus helped me set everything up."

You simply tell her you had a very stereotypical experience when you learned magic.

She laughs, "Ah, my first teacher always told me that if I were to continue magic I should do it in a place I love. And this is it; I'm surrounded by the best people and I have a workspace where I am able to do whatever nature magic I want. It's perfect! Oh, speaking of magic I love, what's your favorite magic to do? Or are you one of those people who can't decide?"

You smile and tell her you've done all sorts of magic and just haven't found the right one, and that the Mage was helping you find it.

"That makes sense. Oooo! Can you show me something the Mage taught you? Like, um, maybe something she did at the festivals?"

You nod, saying those spells were some of the first she taught you. You summon your stave. It appears before you in a small magic cloud. Your stave is an elegant one. It is made out of a dark oak wood, with veins of a dark blue jewel tracing up and down it. At the top an intricately twisted metal forms a half cage where an orb, which is always changing colors, delicately floats. You grab the stave and see Vivienne's shocked expression. You cock your head to the side and ask her why she's shocked.

"Summoning your stave like that...! It was so clean! It was amazing! You just did it with such ease! Wow!" Vivienne exclaims, "Summon spells are usually the hardest and you just did that with no problem! Also your stave is so pretty! Mine is just a simple wooden one with a dark green orb fixed to the top, nothing fancy. Anyways, sorry for freaking out like that. Magic just always makes me excited."

You nod and tell her you understand completely. Using your stave you say a short incarnation. A galaxy swirls out of the orb and takes its place around the room. You see Vivienne looking around, her face shining brighter than the stars. You sheepishly ask her what she thinks.

"This was always my favorite part during the festivals," she responds, amazement in her voice, "and you've just recreated for me. It's amazing!"

You smile and take a mock bow. Just as you're about to say something, Gee frantically throws open the door.

"Save the magic show for later; we've got a problem," she states.

It's cold outside

It really is

It makes me happy

To get away from the sweltering heat

And dense humidity of the summer months

Living in the south

Tends to make the weather a bit

Unusual

Boiling one day and torrential downpours the next

But

Finally the air feels cold on my skin

A fresh air

Something I feel like I haven't felt in forever

It caresses my arms and my face

Sending a shiver down my spine

Most people wish for summer months and summer fun

I wish for fall and winter

As I can bundle up and drink the warmest of cocoas

Without a care in the world

Ugh

My throat itches

My voice a scratch

Coughs surface as I attempt breath

Is it hot

Or cold

It's both

World spins

Is my head warm

Or is this illness just in my head

Am I a hypochondriac

Or am I really sick

I don't know

More coughs

Must breathe through my mouth

Nose is stopped to the point of no return

Shallow breaths

My throat is sore

Yet

I still come to school

Because I'd rather be sick at school than take an end-of-semester exam

Tired

Sleepy

Why must this happen

I try to sleep

But

That thing

The monster

Creeps around in my head

Stopping my sleep

Not letting me drift off

Exhausted

It doesn't matter

It's doesn't care

It doesn't want me asleep

It wants its friends to torment my thoughts

Remind me of past embarrassments and mistakes

"You can't sleep" it coos

"My friends want to play"

So I lie there

With the thoughts presented to me

Unable to sleep

Unless

I take some medicine

Something natural

To quell the monster

And to let me drift away to lands undiscovered

I hide behind a mask

A mask of happiness

A mask of lies

I feign happiness

Screaming behind this mask

Wanting someone to notice

My mask says things like

I'm fine

I'm just tired

I'm not worried about it

I lie

Hoping

Someone sees through my empty words

They don't

As the mask is a strong one

Something I've worked on my entire life

A mask that hides my emptiness

My loneliness

My fear

A mask that doesn't let others catch on

It hides my feelings

And my insecurities

At home

Or when I'm by myself

The mask crumbles

Tears stream down my face

My throat tightens

The mask only lasts so long

Before my feelings rush out in a mess of emotions

A flood of everything

Pent up

Stored for later

When no one can see them