she never found the lump
wasn't sure if she was
strong enough to look
after the doctors said
she had 6 months
or maybe less
she just decided
that living every day
would be enough
but then
how could she know
that she left behind
so many broken hearts?
at times I was distraught
lost along the edges
of her goodbye
& no
it wasn't that I was
strong enough
to let her go
I just wasn't strong enough
to hold on
once she started to cry
she faces
the final doorway
after crossing
a sea of regrets
& the echoes
of all her doubts
I start to call
to say
stay long enough
to face the dawn
but I am drowned out
by the sunrise
& those hopes
that she has always
faced alone
it was more
than my pulse racing
or my breath catching
with her every touch
it was the realization
my heart beats her name
& the very essence
of my being
is nothing more
than the glorification
of her love
the words
never did mesh together
they were clumsy
awkward
but how do you tell
a goddess
you love her
when every word
appears to be vanquished
by the fire in her soul
we were
only strangers
sharing hot coffee
& wandering dreams
you
of a secret love
calling your name
me
of the stars
& the dreams
they inspire
how were we to know
that you
would grow to love me
or that in your eyes
I have found my stars
they thought
we were no more
than a coalition
of the broken
seeking
the power
of a new dawn
when
in truth
we were dreamers
dancing with stars
they never saw
for fear
to look up
& discover
who they really
are
he had bent the truth
in so many ways
just to avoid
being called a liar
but still
we knew better
there was no disguising
the bigotry
the hatred
even when hiding
as a golden idol
we knew the truth
all he was was bluster
and blubber
we could hear him sing
amidst the baritones
his voice rising
far above the others
until he sounded
like a angel
singing a truth
the chorus
we had chosen
to ignore
in my mind
her entire motion
was a dance of seduction
& I
not yet a man
would surrender myself
to her pleasures
but it all ended
as quickly
as it began
I was never
the lover
she desired
or the dream
I wanted