You are 10 and I love you.
you were an asshole. And I called you one.
You were your fathers son.
and in that moment I lost my shit.
the lack of BBQ sauce for your chicken nuggets does not afford you the privilege to loudly complain and lose your mind.
I asked your forgiveness. Because I am an adult and I knew better. But I also made certain that you know why I called you an asshole.
Hopefully I can help disrupt the cycle perpetuated by your father and his father and his mother.
If shit is wrong. Fucking chill. We will fix it.
I don’t quite know how to capture the feeling of your heart being so full and happy because of someone. Yet also hurt because of the distance between. Time passes so quickly it seems as if you have known this person for decades while it’s only been a month. and yet. It passes so slowly as it feels like forever since the las time your lips brushed.
the beautiful quandary of long distance.
Why did I give my best years to people who could have cared less if I remained in the frame?
Why did I lap up the smallest pools of attention when I know I deserved so much more?
Why did I barricade my heart against anyone who wasn’t toxic?
Why did I wait so long to show myself the love I desired all along
and why did I wait so long to open the door for a true love to enter in?
There is something to be said for the humble and hardworking.
The plain, reserved, man who seeks only to live and thrive off the land.
laboring with his hands, he keeps things moving.
Resting briefly to rise one more and do it all again.
not wanting, not wasting.
perfectly content to be one with the land.
Altogether as a coparenting unit.
8: announces she’s student of the month.
New wife: announces she’s excited to get a yard sign.
8: states ”my yard sign will go to my moms house”
8 turns, looks at me, and hisses: “you have more custody then dad”
Me: died laughing. But says “we have the same amount, 50/50”
8: “60/40. I grew inside you”
Ex: stares in bewildered
8: I should get to decide where my yard sign goes.
no one knows where the sign is going. But yay for student of the month And kid custodial math.