Pain inside

screams

to be let out.

Happiness

wants to be

kept inside.

It clings to life.

There’s no need

to express

content

in words.

It’s happiest

inside.

While pain

lives best

everywhere

inside

and out.

I am

pieces.

Pieces

shards

of everything.

All my thoughts

experiences

emotions.

All pieces

of something.

contained

within my flesh.

But flowing

freely.

All colliding

constantly,

creating

each moment’s

new reality.

every second waiting

for the thoughts of you

to light my mind

sometimes willing the spark to die

sometimes welcoming

the flames

pages torn

pieces misplaced

upset by

the mind

unknowns

and avoided words

happy lies

uncomfortable “new”s

trying to find

the normal

in what never was

and losing the hope

in past futures

hoped outcomes

uncertainly certain knowns

losing traction

on paths unexpected

after so much time

spent blind on hope

and convinced sures.

through love

Thoughts of you

like sparks

they come and go

sometimes igniting

fueled by passion

unlocked in my chest

into wildfires

raging and never ending

strong and beautiful

fires

of what could be.

sometimes

only sparks

that light my mind

and quickly

disappear

almost unsure

of whether

it was even

real

Hush Hush,

you are but a blossoming seed

              young

you cannot know what you want.

Accept the water that

makes you grow

that water (that drowns you 

in the nothingness

        you were reduced to)

soak the sunlight 

that gives you life 

the sunlight (that reminds you

of the light you used to feel inside

        before it was taken from you)

grow your roots deep 

in the earth

so hard to grow into earth,

the same earth you once

                      lay helpless upon.

you are but a seed

a seed wise enough to understand 

please and thank you.

a seed grown or not enough to 

         understand the distinction 

of (a deal and a gift)words and absence.

                  muteness

the absence-

of words, of affirmation, of voice

but, Hush, such

petty unnecessaries,

just Accept the gift, the offer

just Accept it.

what force is used

in giving a gift?

              a gift, inherent 

good.

        what is bad in good?

Accept it, think no more.

just Accept it.

all bad must 

just be 

you.

Hush Hush, 

                             you need not fuss

so.

it consumes you from

within

but now Hush,

          think no more.

just a gift.

Hush child, 

for a flower 

cries not at the flight

of a bee.

such power

in the gift

of finding 

Silence

in screams.