You left me alone last night, so I did the only thing I knew how.

I took a drink.

And then another.

Finally, I finished a whole bottle, and pretty soon I began to realize why I drink every time you leave.

It reminds me of you.

When I reach for that bottle, I'm really reaching for you.

When the liquor burns my throat, that's you feeding me the words I want to hear, even though I know it's lies.

I get this sense of excitement that sends me on a trip after I've had a few.

The same feeling I get when you pin me down, and whisper in my ear.

And the excruciating hangover I feel afterwards?

That's only you screaming at me and telling me how I've fucked up. How you regret me.

I don't drink to forget you.

I drink to keep you with me.

I was the puppy who had belonged to him but as soon as he got me I got excited, slipped through the door and ran away. But I was picked up by someone who at first seemed really nice but didn't treat me so well after a while. And he threw me out, because he got a new pet who is more interesting than me.

So I was lost and afraid, but then I found my owner. And we were so happy to have found each other again. Everything was how it used to be, maybe better. And I was so happy. When day I realized he was moving, but he promised to take me with him. But at the last moment he realized that having a puppy was too much responsibility for his new job.

He didn't know where to take me, so he opened the door to let me back out. He put me out and I was confused why he wasn't coming with me so I tried to come back in, but he kept pushing me out. Telling me, "You belong with someone else. I can't take care of you. I'm sorry" And each time I turned around trying to sit next to him, until finally he put me out and before I could turn around, he slammed the door shut.

I sat and cried for him but he never opened the door again so I waited outside that door for an entire night crying; hoping the door would open but there wasn't any sign of him.

So now I'm walking alone again, hoping maybe I'll be hit by a car. That's all I ever wanted was to find him again. But I was too late because he was leaving and I couldn't come with him anymore.

And I knew that if he came back, he wouldn't come for me. If he did come back, he would've forgotten all about me. He'll get a new puppy, and this puppy won't get out because he'll build her fence in the shape of a ring. And just to make sure she doesn't get lonely when he's away, he'll have some kids for her to play with. And he's gonna love her.

He won't remember me. Maybe I'll pass by him one day, but he won't recognize me or call me by name. He won't take me home with him. He'll see me as another filthy street animal, because nothing will ever be as good as the dog waiting for him at home.

I am a puppy with no tags. I don't belong to anyone.

I remember you in colors.

Flashes, Strokes, Lines

Deep colors for a deep soul such

As yours.

I still see your vibrant green eyes

That I used to stare into for hours

At a time. And I still feel your bright

Pink lips on my cheek telling me

"You're my favorite"

Yellow. That's my favorite. It's

Also the color of the roses you

Promised to plant in the yard for me

You probably don't remember how we met. It was so sudden and unusual

That to hear it repeated back to you

It would make you wonder what

Were we thinking? That's okay.

I can still remember when I first

Saw you though. You were wearing

A blue shirt that I loved so much.

It made you stand out amongst

The crowd. I often asked about that

Shirt. If I could borrow it, to lie

Around in. You never let me. Maybe

You would've, but I never got the

Chance to find out for myself.

You were something special. You were in love with people; the world

Around you. You loved nature and

You loved letting your opinions be

Heard. You were in love with all of

This, but you were also in love with

The idea of being free. To do your

Thing, your way.

I remember our last night together

How we fought. Like white lightning

Flashing against a dark sky. I remember begging you to stay, for

Just one more chance. How my knees hit that floor. And my brown eyes

Turned red and burned with tears.

I held on, until I turned purple from

Not being able to breathe through

The pain. I begged, pleaded and

Promised. And I meant it all too.

I wasn't just throwing out words

In desperation. But it was too

Late. You had made up your mind

And you became cold and hard

Like a slab of grey marble. And

You walked away. I never heard

From you again.

I remember you in colors. I don't see anything anymore, besides black and white snapshots of a life I don't remember living.

But I remember you in colors.