it's a mess of colors 

that push me further everyday

into that place

I thought I left a while ago

Red for the fustration

Purple for the bruised heart

Bright blue for the angry tears

Faded yellow for the hope

One would think I'm in a rainbow

just a slushy brown of hormones.

i'm blue

too blue for you 

so blue it spills over the edges

and comes out as tears

so blue it scared away you

would rather be black and hopeless

too bad 

blue has hope

just enough to keep me going

not enough to take me there

there as in where you are

there as in where I'll never be.

all of a sudden

out of the dark

and he is a hug in winter

the winter that I thought would be forever

ended with Spring

a more creative mind

and suddenly I'm more than okay

you left behind the pieces of my heart

like a street race gone wrong.

but the problem is that

I can't walk away from the accident I caused

I crashed into you hoping that

you would find it fun...maybe even a game.

I've been behind by your side for so long,

cruising and cruising.

You were starting to speed up,

and I had to catch up with you.

Before I knew it

we became a wreck

Cuts on my face

Bruises on my hands

I flew out the window

and got hurt real bad

Yet I still ran over to see if 

you were alright

You didn't have a scratch 

Yet you yelled at me for being stupid

for being dumb

for being annoying

so you got into your car

and drove off

leaving me by our accident

and I can't walk away

this time i'll write from my heart

first of all i'm too afraid to tell him how i feel

because it'll only hurt more than it does now

and i know how everyone hates me

but that's ok too because it's only behind my back

and i'm weird and crazy and awkward

so everyone treats me like i'm a fool

i've got too many dreams and too much heart

and not enough brains for anyone

i just want a hug from one of you

but both of you ignore me

can someone just listen for real

and not talk behind my back

i need a real friend

one that knows how to be quiet

one that knows when not be a mom

and tell me what to do

and i want to change myself

so badly

lastly these are just a bunch of thoughts

because i want to write from my heart

Have I told you about that girl? (forgotten)

She's sat in your class now for months. (forgotten)

You say you see her but you really don't. 

I don't think you get how she feels. (forgotten)

No one's cared and no one ever will. (forgotten)

It's eaten her up from the inside out.

Oh, you said "hi" a month ago? (forgotten)

What's her name then? (forgotten)

That's right, you don't know.

It hurts sitting here, She whispers

but no one hears her. 

It hurts to be alone, She whispers

but no one hears her.

I think I'll leave early, She whispers

and fades away on a noose

and it's too late to hear her.

But no one has and no one ever will.

can you feel my ache

do you see what you've done to me?

just touch my heart

and let my cracks devour yours

let my tears fall from your cheeks

give my stutter to your smile

violently toss and turn in the darkest night 

romantic illusions of me in your head

oh broken-hearted 

i'm broken-hearted

broken hearted girl wishes (that)

for

broken hearted boy

- inspired by @Tylasmith -

it's been a pain to 

smile when i'm sad

just because you say

i should

you say

wipe that tear away and get back up 

there is no time to cry

there is no time to be sad

move on 

force that laugh

play the part

just smile

i'll do it

give me my lines

give me my mask (it's practically my face now)

i'll play my part

who can I trust

in this world of lies

spite and deception

who can I trust

obviously not my 

family and friends

who can I trust

with my most sincere form of mind

more shadow than light

who can I trust 

with the secrets not said

and lies I've told

I can trust

the stranger I'll never see again

walking on the road I'll never walk again

I can trust

the tree that will never speak

the rock that will never talk

The recesses of my own mind

that factory and prison of my most terrible thoughts

are the only things I can trust

i've spent too long in the dark

looking at couples' lights

and watching from afar.

countless nights hoping

that you would see

how the lonely life hurts me

why can't I have

that happy ending

that sunset ride

it hurts too hard

to know what

I'll never have

it's the

lonely life

longing lonely life